Reviews for Scars
Person chapter 1 . 1/3
I love how it's so sutble and beleivable. It captures the escence of real feelings and sibling love. In summary, IAN AND SINEAD ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER!
Hannah chapter 1 . 8/13/2012
Great job. My fav pairing. Sinead's eyes are green and during the clue hunt she's 13, 15 in the second series
pianoxgirl chapter 1 . 9/8/2011
I'm not much of a fan of Sinead/Ian...but I am a fan of Sinead, this didn't contain much of Sinead/Ian and I really enjoyed the part where Ian wanted to get Amy jealous. Great job, I'll keep an eye on the archive to see if you write more stories because I really like your writing style!
xrainy chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
I'm pretty sure you're right about the whole Ian/Sinead pairing being the most hated in the archive...I can't stand that couple at all. But I actually loved this one-shot. I liked the way you portrayed the characters' personalities, especially Sinead's. I personally believe that there should be more one-shots revolving around the Starlings, so I'm really glad you made this. Also, I really enjoyed the scene were Ian got a bit jealous of Hamilton when he hugged Amy :P Great job! I hope you keep writing :)
Kaye Nightshade chapter 1 . 7/15/2011
I can't believe this is a one-shot! D8 This is like an endless cliff-hanger! DD:

Anyway onto the review!

As the other nitpickers had reviewed your flaws and those other stuff. I just saw this really small mistake:

"She turned her thoughts beside the Clue Hunt..." It should have been "besides". It really sounds better.

Aww, I luffle the SinIan moments. :DD And I also like the part where Ian gets to see Amy holding Hamilton's hand. Jealousy. XD

I praise you for everything there is for a good fic. (Since this is one AWESOME! fic. :D) TOO BAD ITS A ONE-SHOT. DD:

Anyways, a short review from me would suffice. XD Good job and keep on writing! o

-Kaye Nightshade
Spring Sunrise chapter 1 . 7/8/2011
This is a pretty good story, but I sadly don't have time for as long a review as I would have liked. I want to do it before I forget, though. Sorry about the lack of a proper review.

I think this sentence could be clearer:

She and Amy had spent a whole day talking about the backstabbers during the redhead's Clue hunt once—she knew what he was capable of.

I would suggest this instead:

She and Amy had once spent a whole day talking about the backstabbers during the Clue hunt — she knew what he was capable of.

Amy and Sinead have similar hair colors, so the redhead could refer to either of them. I think just saying "the Clue hunt" works, but if you want to be specific, you can say "the Cahill's" or "the Ekat's," depending on to whom you were referring. Honestly, I don't have a specific reason for changing the placement of the "once." I just feel it's clearer the second way, but that could just be me.

Overall, though it was a very nice story. I thought it was very well-written, and enjoyed reading it. Nice job!
Joelle8 chapter 1 . 7/8/2011
...I'm so P. right now. I wrote this big, long, 3000-word constructive review and then my computer shut down and deleted it before I could submit it. D: So I'll try to sum it up:

You have some of the best character portrayals I've ever seen... except for Amy's, in the little we see of her. She has always vehemently denied- to other people, at least- having any sort of relationship with Ian. Two years after the Clue Hunt, she's basically over him anyways: she likes the Evan guy or whatever his name is, remember? I find it really hard to imagine that she would flat-out tell Sinead that the reason she came to see her wasn't to comfort her, it was to inquire about her relationship with Ian. Furthermore, that's truly not just where her priorities would lie: Amy's the kind of person who cares more about other people than she does about herself. She's very sensitive, to other people's emotions as well as her own. She would care more about comforting Sinead- or at least she would act like she did.

Aside from that, your main mistakes were just a few very minor grammatical errors. I had pointed them all out in the first review, but that took about half an hour- if not more- so please forgive me for not retyping them all. They weren't anything really serious enough to worry about anyways; just remember to be consistent with your tenses. For example: "She had had a bad feeling all day. Something just felt off to her. She'd dismissed it as her nerves." You have to say, "Something HAD just felt off to her."

All in all, a truly excellent story. Aside from Amy, your character portrayals are some of the best I've ever seen- I mean that. Also, your rhythm flows just right; it's beautiful. Can't wait to read more from you. :)
Klbooks chapter 1 . 6/30/2011
*blinks* *stares at reviews below hers*

...Did you really expect me to find any mistakes or stuff that haven't already been pointed out? This thing has been nitpicked top pieces!

I did find one thing, though:

"She swallowed and closed her eyes, thinking of memories before the Clue hunt, before she turned her backs on the desperate Cahills, before she made that fatal mistake."

-"backs" should be "back," I believe, 'cause the last time I checked, Sinead only had one. :P Or you could put "they" instead of Sinead, I suppose...

And then I think you missed a reflexive pronoun-majig somewhere. [You put "him" instead of "himself."] At least, I think. I can't find it right now...

Anyway, I love this fic. :D I'll add it to my favorites in a sec...

Like others have said, the part where Ian talks to a confused Hamilton is hilarious, and then I like the part where Ian says no one can use a gun better than Natalie. :D I also loved how Amy was twiddling with her watch and the ingenuity of how she's really worried about the ring...yeah, that was awesome. :D :D :D I also found how they voted people to do things amusing.

The romance was done with awesome skill. :D Loved it.

It's an amazing job, hope to see some of your other 39 Clues fics soon. :D
inked-writer chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
Great. :)
RageRunsStill chapter 1 . 6/29/2011
HA! ONLY ONE DAY LATE! TAKE THAT, THEIA!

*Clears throat* Sorry. :p Had to say it.

The only error I saw throughout the whole thing was that you accidentally put "beside" instead of "besides" at one point. But other than that, I didn't see anything wrong...

About the Starling's eye color, it's impossible to tell until they say in the books. Why, you may ask? Well, the only colored picture of the Starlings in existence is Ned's CliqueMe profile picture. If you zoom in far enough on the computer screen, you'll see that his eyes are blue. Like, really stunning blue. Maybe a shade of blue jay? Something like that. But in the Black Book of Buried Secrets, there's another picture of him. His eyes are gray. So, really, when it comes to eye color, it all boils down to, "Which picture has been color-corrected, and which is original?" Being that Ned's CliqueMe has been around for much longer than the BBoBS, I would say that they color-corrected the picture for the book, but I may be wrong. All I can say is, is THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING THEIR EYES GREEN! *Hugs*

I like Sinead/Ian, but I'm not a romance junky, so I really liked this. But I'm going to wait to favorite... If I like any of your other stories, I'll just favorite you as author. :)

Anyway, keep up the great work. Maybe write another Starling story sometime? Hey, look on the bright side - you know what to get me for my birthday! Haha! Or Christmas, since that comes first...

Thinking that this review wasn't helpful,

*RRS*
music4evah chapter 1 . 6/26/2011
*OH* my goodness, Theia, you are SO. MEAN. THIS CAN'T BE A ONE-SHOT! Gah, I'm going to hate you forever and ever...

Others have already pointed out some typos/phrasing suggestions, so I'll spare you the Grammar Nazi. {I agree with Sy; Bold facing the first letter is cool.}

Just some logistics for you:

She wondered if Natalie had already spent her two million dollars yet. She looked back at the stars.

You mentioned that it had been two years since the end of the clue hunt. Seriously, you think it takes two whole years for her to spend two million dollars? Pft. You are totally underestimating Natalie.

And then you said that Amy had sent out a letter telling them to gather. You think it takes two years AGAIN for her to take some action? Seriously, they'd all been warned about them at the end of the book, right? ... Oh, wait, that might have actually only been Amy and Dan... But still, the Vespers Rising Switzerland thing didn't take place THAT long after the clue hunt, and you'd think that after Amy's jarring resolution she'd contact other Cahills.

"Natalie hasn't contacted me since last week," Ian said, shrugging.

Well where's Natalie?

Oh, and going back a step: "Yeah. Sorry about glaring at you," she said, hanging her head again.

It might just be me, but it seems weird that she's just singling out glaring at him. I think she should just say she's sorry for being a jerk. Or maybe I'm slowly losing my sanity. /shrug

Ah, I really love how the Ian/Sinead is so subtle and you're just not sure if it's one-sided or not. And then the Ian/Amy hint, too- and then you have to wonder about Hamilton's feelings, and it's just such a lovely mess and it's done so well THANKYOU.

And then they get to the kidnappings. And then it kind of takes everyone a year {except Ian} to figure out what's going on. Seriously. Okay, so maybe I should listen to Alcatraz and not complain about it, but it still irks me a bit. {Have you read the Alcatraz Smedry series, by Brandon Sanderson? Seriously, GO READ IT. But make sure you start with the first book. [You'll understand the joke later.]}

Ted was gone. He was really gone. She still couldn't believe it.

That was a bit of a random thought when McIntyre's just told her Ned will be there relatively soon.

She must have cried for a long time.

Heh. Amy just coming up to talk about Ian. A bit unlike her, I think, but funny. Then again, there's been room for character development. So.

And I'm still going to hate you for making this a silly ONE-SHOT. Seriously, Theia, this has such potential! GAHAGAHLARGLEGARGLEGARGLE.

Oh, and Sinead's last thought is dramatic and all, but seriously, just keep it with the same line above it.

So, I like the angst. It really is quite nice, Theia. (: Lovely job.
Thatidiot chapter 1 . 6/25/2011
/The mansion seemed so antique, yet she knew it was built two years ago, just a few weeks after the gauntlet./ I kinda feel "had been" would be better than "was." Not sure why, just word choice, I suppose.

/They had all matured in the two years since the Clues. She was no longer that silly, naïve fourteen-year-old girl.../ Hasn't it been three years, for this plot? And isn't Sinead seventeen, now, so you even subtracted the three years correctly...maybe your fingers and brain weren't thinking together? *shrug*

/She acted like she was on her period all day.../ "had acted", maybe? Just "acted" kinda makes it sounds like she's still acting...*cough cough* like that.

/The crisp air on the tiny island off the coast of Ireland/ "of the tiny island" might be more accurate and make it sound better, as the "on" and "off" in the same sentence makes it sound almost repetitive ("of" and "off" have different initial pronunciations)...[Note: Reading things aloud works wonders.]

/She had enjoyed the peace of two years while it lasted./ Just that two-or-three years thing again.

/An ultra-large portrait of Jane Cahill stared out at them next to the fireplace/ "from next to the fireplace", maybe...Kinda makes more sense, I think.

/...walking around to sit on the back of the couch. Ian stood beside her.../ Maybe, "Ian moved to stand beside her"...? You didn't make any real indication that he moved.

/Sinead glanced at him to see that his knuckles were white, and his eyes were narrowed./ The two "were"s make it sound kind of repetitive. The second one might not even be needed.

/"Wouldn't be the first time people've tried to do that,"/ "Wouldn't have been", maybe, cause he tried to kill them, not presently...maybe?

So, yeah. Amazing job! :) I'm a nitpicker, so... *awkward*

There's Ian being a little OOC, and then I also think that Amy might've gotten out the news about Ned being there a little bit quicker, seeing as she would know how worried Sinead was-she might've even mentioned it before talking about how she didn't mind Sinead liking Ian...Uh, that's all.

Good job again! I liked the few instances of humor and stuff. :)
Syberian Quest chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
Heh. I sort of failed when I saw your name as the author. I thought you were someone else for a minute...

ANYWAY, nice to see you in the 39 Clues. :) You did a very nice job. And as for the Sinead/Ian? You handled it beautifully.

I know it's definitely not the most popular pairing, but I absolutely adored how you made it completely minor while still including obvious Ian/Amy. Most just make it one or the other, you know? Why can't there be a little of both? Granted, I'm not a shipper (partly because Sinead is in college at the end of the Clue hunt, making her a good few years older than Ian), but you made it completely believable. Kudos.

One thing I absolutely love that you did was bolding the first letter of each section. I've never seen that before, but it completely mimics a lot of books with their first letter of the chapter being fancy and all. For some reason, that just stood out at me. :/

(His cologne is actually clove. Don't ask me /why/ I remember that, but I just did. Lemon is superb, though, so don't change it. I doubt he wears the same kind all the time, anyway)

For an unbetaed work, it was very good, although I did catch a few things that were a tad awkward or required hyphens.

"she'd felt responsibility" Sounds weird to me. Normally, people say they feel "responsible" for someone, not responsibility.

"near death experience" "bluish gray" "lemon scented cologne"

All need hyphens, although the middle one might be up for debate. (By the way, I've always imagined Sinead with blue eyes, too. Good call. Wonder why they never actually said what they are...)

"he was here" Ah, this just felt wrong. You're using past tense and are talking about Ned being in the mansion, but in a different room in the mansion. "There" would seem much more appropriate.

"Clues" does not need to be capitalized unless specifically referring to the hunt.

And here - Something just felt off to her. She'd passed it off as her nerves - it felt like you used the word "off" too many times too close together. Try a synonym.

A few sentences felt slightly awkward and there were a few pieces of dialogue that seemed too abrupt (I'm thinking of one in particular when Sinead talks to McIntyre), but overall, very well done. :)

Something I will mention is that Ian seemed a bit too friendly. I realize a few people said he was a bit OOC, but they never elaborated. You did a good job with him (heaven knows how he's been annihilated), and I'm definitely glad you did such a good job of making him the undisputed "charmer." The one thing in particular that bothered me, however, was when he started talking about them being a "family" and that they'd find "Reagan, Natalie, and whoever else." Now I could be wrong, but I just have my Kabra intuition telling me that when the groups team up, Ian will be one of the last to get on board. And when he does, it's going to be about Natalie, not /Reagan/. It just bothered me that you put Reagan's name before Natalie's. She's obviously more important.

Two other little things. I'm a bit curious as to why all the Cahills are on the island together, or rather, why some are and some aren't. Why aren't they all together? It's like they're /waiting/ for their family to get kidnapped. Why? Secondly, the first paragraph didn't grab me like it could have. Just wasn't as *POW* as I would've liked. And the "on Sunday" thing in the first sentence was a bit bland. Maybe a bit more description in the later parts, too...

Blech. I think I'm tearing this story apart, which is really stupid because it's very good. (I apologize; when a story is good, it's easier to focus on the little details because it's not some wretched fangirl cleanup job)

I truly enjoyed this. I loved how you portrayed Sinead. I loved the last quote. I loved the family relationship you had there. I loved how well you portrayed Ian's sweet-talking side and tried to make Amy jealous (that was a genius move, slipping both Amian and Sinian (?) in there) And lastly, I loved how you made Hamilton fail at picking up on Ian's nonexistent conversation. xD I just love Hamilton. ;)

So overall, I very much enjoyed this. In fact, it was a pleasure to read and review. For under 24 hours and unbetaed you did a marvelous job. (Don't you just love plot bunnies?) And don't take any of my overly-picky CC to heart because I'm just an idiot who is overly critical about everything in life. Seriously, you did a great job. :) (Oh, and btw, I *LOVED* how you made this an angst/hurt/comfort, instead of a romance. The subtly of it all was */PURE GENIUS/*)And please note my extreme overusage of italicizing, ect on pure genius. Because it was.

Overall: I loved reading this. So, please keep writing. The world needs it.

Syberia
therockinCookie chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
Whoa, Theia!

This was fantastic! I don't have anything to say about the grammar. And it was IC. Wow.

Very original, and it flows with the series. ;)

I'll be looking forward to more of your stories. :D

Cookie :P (Yap!)
chasing nostalgia chapter 1 . 6/24/2011
Le gasp! I haven't seen anything this good in this horribly dying archive for a while. Congratulations on not sucking!

Grammar; great (I didn't see any mistakes, but Apple probably already nit-picked you, sooo...yeah xD)

Spelling; awesometasic

Plot; Sort of follows the book, which is good i. i

Pairings; Original

Way of Writing; Detailed, flowing, makes sense

Extras; fits in well with the book, as I said in "Plot."

Overall, very nicely done.

Keep writing and making me smile instead of groan!

Magic, Mage, Mag
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