|Reviews for The Bakery|
| Miller18 chapter 17 . 9/9
I really hope Edward beats the crap out of Jasper. Jasper is scum in my book. He only thought about getting his girl out not what would happen to Bella.
| agatona chapter 36 . 9/8
Sa-weet! Another baby? Must be working double time!
Good story. Can't wait for the next one'
| Birddy chapter 11 . 7/25
I’ve got to stop reading here. There are a lot of things I’ve noticed in this story so far that are just unrealistic. Edward bathing a sexual assault victim, jasper sending her back to the place she escaped, how quickly they fell in “love” when they are literally getting abused. To me, it’s just a little too quick paced, a bit two-dimensional and I’m not feeling it.
You have a nice writing style, and you have a LOT of potential. This story also has the potential to be great if you’re willing to go over it again. I would recommend reading “Wisp” because that’s what this story’s vibes are giving me but it hasn’t perfected that slow burn concept just yet.
Again, great potential. Just a lot of hope that need to be fixed, if you would want to do that. Best of luck to you.
| CayStar chapter 22 . 5/13
Actually I know someone with schizophrenia and this actually helps me understand Benjamin’s character a bit more. Helps me hate him more too but that’s a whole other issue. I hate that disorder/disease/whatever the hell you want to call it. It’s an excuse to hurt people and get away with it and I have a nephew who will be fucked up for life because nobody would believe me when I said his mom was batshit crazy.
Anyway, sorry to rant! I’m enjoying the story, really! ;)
| hohi.rose chapter 34 . 3/25
I cannot take this any longer... the absurdity of taking a patient off life support while he still has brain activity it's absurd(I talking about jasper)! Also you've been very unclear about how how much time passed since he's been in the hospital at least wait for two weeks to make that kind of decision
I think I've been very tolerant so far and I've been holding back so many things I didn't want to review until the last chapter but I just can't do that the plotline is ridiculous the way you're write it though is very nice like I like your writing Style it's fine but it's, I don't know the things that are happening like left and right facts come popping up out of nowhere with no explanation as to where that information came from... like pop! Aro is Benjamin and Alice's uncle! out of nowhere! where did Jasper get that information from? nobody knows no evidence whatsoever to back him up...
Don't even get me started on the Bella rape thing... I mean when they forced her out of the room she had a clear veiw of the three men standing there she could have just said Twilight when she saw them before they reached her nd boom cops come in, they arrest everyone! I am wondering again how did he even Benjamin fall for that why didn't his uncle tell him before he came to that house he had to wait for his nephew to come to the house for him to text him that " danger get out of there" how obvious is that!? that is very poor decision-making on your part, you had a million gazillion other options... and what kind of officer just leave the bait in the in the house/ warehouse whatever , he could have stayed in the house like Mike told him to, pick a girl it wasn't that hard for him to pick a girl but get in the room and keep his ears on the door so he could hear what happens or not, she already had a mic he could have heard her from there like you could have stopped everything cops don't work like that; they had so many other options. like she saw them she could have identified the men with a sketch or something they could have done a little detective work and they could have found them it's not that hard to find three Men and put ridiculousness Michael &Tyler were strung out on their own merchandise that doesn't usually happen in their business the dealer doesn't do what they sell another ridiculous point.
I didn't enjoy this story very much but with your writing you have so much potential and that's why I'm so mad cos you could have made the story so much better but you just didn't maybe you're just still green... idk but all in all the story felt very rushed and unreasonable... oh also rape and abuse victims don't ask the way that Alice and Bella acted after they got free... just wanted to put that out there.
| VryUnique chapter 3 . 3/15
That is just wrong. He needs to check for injuries? Is Edward a doctor? Esme should be helping Bella. I can't even express how inappropriate it is for a male to be bathing a sexual assault victim. An author can make anything believable and possible if written correctly. Edward should have had no choice but to help Bella because she refused to let go of him and begged him to stay. It still would have been inappropriate but at least it would have been a last resort for him.
| Guest chapter 36 . 10/13/2018
Um rape... hair falling out. Yh that's not karma you stupid bint
| Guest chapter 10 . 1/16/2018
I hate this Jasper. I literally can’t stand him and I don’t understand how they’re not even mad at him. I’m gonna read a few more chapters but I’m not really sure I can finish the story if Jasper is continued to bel seen as a good guy.
| Alicia Janae Alexander chapter 36 . 2/28/2017
It was good
| Lillywhite1 chapter 36 . 2/14/2017
Thanks for writing this wonderfull story! And thanks to your beta, too. Hard story, great to read, the end a bit suddenly. But, for an at first intended one shot it is so good and thankfully much longer. Sometimes longer is better ;-))
| Greekmytholgy chapter 18 . 12/20/2016
Can't wait for him to get beat up. Don't matter from who, though.
| FluffynSmutty chapter 36 . 11/23/2016
This is actually one of the first fics I've read!
| Guest chapter 16 . 11/8/2016
I really really hate this story...
| KB-94 chapter 36 . 9/2/2016
I've forgotten how many times I've read this story. I love it so much! So beautiful! Thank you!
| Emmett-u-fool chapter 36 . 3/6/2016
I absolutely love this story! So many tears! Great work! Xoxox