|Reviews for Alqualonde|
| asdfjkl chapter 1 . 12/5/2008
damn. i liked it. i almost feel like i shouldn't...almost like it's bad of me to have enjoyed this, but at the same time...
i dunno. keep writing xD
| Baralin chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
I am speechless, this was so touching! So sad but beautiful at the same time, a dark beauty. This is a side of Maglor I had not expected and the way you described what he saw made me shudder. There is beauty even in death and destruction, it is overwhelming, morbid and terrifying ... a shocking thought and an ironic one. I always imagined Maglor to be more thoughtful and pensive than his brothers as this underlies his talent and love for music, maybe only someone like him could even see true beauty in this.
| Winged Tree chapter 1 . 3/17/2006
Very disturbing story and powerful descriptions. I think you made a brave attempt in trying to depict a difficult topic and I applaude you for it. The thing that makes this not entirely convincing though, is that the clash between ethics and aesthetics exists, but it exists in the viewers, not in the actors. What soap opera fanatic actually wants to live the life of the characters he/she is watching? Who, in watching an action film of death, danger, and excitment actually wants to be the person in the line of fire, or the one betrayed to his doom? So, Maglor in this story doesn't really come across as anything other than deranged. The insights he makes may work after time has passed, but in the aftermath of the battle, it's not so much that it's disturbing, but that it makes no sense for Maglor to feel no guilt...especially as he probably knew some of the deceased. Also especially as this was NOT a glorious battle, as he kept saying. Unless I'm remembering the story really wrong, this was more of a massacre for which the residents of Alqualonde were ill-prepared. It was Feanor demanding their ships and the Teleri refusing, and then a sudden eruption into killing due to that. There probably wasn't even enough time for the Teleri to display that "bravery" Maglor was praising. In the face of these events, Maglor...yeah, is either crazy or completely not convincing.
Far more than the clash between ethics and aesthetics, the concept of guilt touches absolutely everyone (ok, except psychopaths, but they're not normal). It may surprise people, but some people do like happy stories.; I personally prefer happiness to drama/melodrama, so for me the choice is simple, and this not as relevant. But if Maglor feels guilt (and of course you have to take care that you're not overdoing it), then the story becomes more familiar, and Maglor less alien. You may be able to achieve the disturbing clash without making your characters so remote that they're not believable, but it also may very well be that you need a being above even the elves (going into realms of the Maiar or Valar) before you can portray the clash without having the character compromised. Maglor is right now too in the midst of things, and he's not a god, so he needs to respond with more *conflict* and more horror. He threw up, certainly, but there were too many moments that were tossed into Maglor's mouth just so it could be disturbing (rather than it being something a person would actually think in such a situation), like when he and Maedhros said that all of this was "worth remembering."
Unless, of course, you intended for Maglor to sound insane.; In which case, you were probably already aware of the problems. If Maglor is just a vehicle and you're not concerned with making his personality believable, then my criticism isn't relevant to you. I just don't think that any elf would celebrate death in this fashion, and so you may have picked the wrong vehicle with which to express the clash (the fact that Maglor is an active participant makes it even more unbelievable).
A small technical point that bothered me a little. The Teleri elves didn't rise to "stand against the Kinslayers," because the Feanoreans weren't Kinslayers at the time, just rebels against the Valar. So they can't very well rise up against an entity that was created only after their rising was crushed.; Also, were the elves of Alqualonde all killed? There were definitely numerous losses, since the attack was so sudden, but this story makes it sound like they wiped out all the Teleri in the West.
I think one big reason why this conflict itself is a little problematic for me though (and why I'm talking so much-I want to figure out what's wrong), is that while conflicts make good stories, people don't make conflicts in order to have good stories. No one embarks on a war thinking, "I'm gonna kill people because it'll make a good story!" In the sense of real life, that conflict doesn't even exist-people want happiness in their own lives, NOT drama. Since for Maglor, what he's experiencing is "real life" for him, these reactions just smack of weirdness. Well, it smacks of a greater power (the author) viewing things from afar and saying, "Heey, that sounds like it'd make a great ballad!" It's not something that a person living such a life would say. My earlier suggestion of a Maiar or Valar as the narrator instead comes to mind.
Well, anyway, I rambled on a little too much (and probably repeated myself at points-sorry).; You did encourage readers to give their opinions though, so I'm venturing to do so. It certainly was very thought-provoking...obviously, since I nearly wrote a dissertation in response.;
Thanks for writing,
| RavenLady chapter 1 . 3/8/2005
This is the first story I've seen that gives Maglor motives other than blind loyalty. This morbid admiration of destruction is something I would have expected from, say, Curufin. To see it in Maglor is even more chilling, because it's tempting to think he's above that, but you make it frighteningly believable. I think I prefer this characterization of him, in fact.
"Of the crumbling wall he sang, of how it will stand forever, as the empty city will, a silent testimony, its air foul, smelling of blood, salt, smoke, tears."
But wouldn't the surviving Teleri eventually rebuild it?
| Andrew Nichols chapter 1 . 4/30/2004
Well written, and done so with feeling. I wonder what you mean by ruining Elrond's life, though. And was the city really so desolate after the slaying? It was always my understanding that the majority of the Teleri there survived, but then, I may well be wrong. Still, it was nice to see someone write about what I have always felt to be the most evocative and Edenic (I think that's spelled correctly) setting of Tolkien's work. Good job.
| wellduh chapter 1 . 1/29/2004
I suppose there is a certain uniqueness about the scene... I imagine that for someone who has likely never seen such death and destruction, it would be sort of awe-inspiring.
| Casey Toh chapter 1 . 4/18/2003
Wow. *breathes* Just...WOW. It is ironic yet so very true that beauty and horror are often together, and in death, beauty can be found. And you're right: it makes sense that Maglor would be the one to see it.
| Hellga chapter 1 . 3/7/2003
Definitely not my vision of Maglor, but a very good story. It is rather unusual to see Macalaure as thinking destruction was magnificent. I doubt even Fëanáro would, as Noldor were people who create. We are the people who destroy. :) But it just my vision, of course. It was very interesting to read a story with point of view so different.
| Cirdan chapter 1 . 10/11/2002
This is the kind of story that should be read by every fanfic writer, not just for the Silm topic but because it is one of those pieces that talk about the art of writing. In Maglor's case, the art of music. The artist looks at everything differently and can only express pent-up feelings through art. Of course Maglor would make a song of the ruin of Alqualonde. And he would do it beautifully and pay proper tribute to what has happened. And mayhaps it is part of Iluvatar's design, for amidst sorrow there is joy. And, most importantly, this is how Maglor copes with the horrors of what he's done. Music is his method of release. Maybe the worst part for Maglor is that Feanor understands this concept all too well, that people will find a way to cope and survive and that even the horrors of the kinslaying would enrich their lives through music and song and through sheer experience. Feanor's a bit scary in his pride of the ruins of Alqualonde, but I think Maglor is scared of himself for understanding his father's position. I'm in awe of how you say so much in so few words. Masterfully written
| CoopersMcFarley chapter 1 . 8/26/2002
It's perfect, and exactly the way I thought that it would happen.
| Caporal chapter 1 . 8/25/2002
Scary. This is scary, in an unthreatening sort of way. And you're right. The entire story depended on the Kinslayers, andAlqualondë being destroyed. And only Maglor could find beauty in that horrid sight. I think you got it right.
One thing, though.I never saw Maglor as ruining Elrond's life. I saw him as the father Elrond never had, burying his guilt and greif in his love for the twins. He sure took better care of them than Earendil ever did.
| julifolo chapter 1 . 6/4/2002
I got pointed here by a recommendation & I'm glad I did. I must reread the Feanor & Son parts of Silmarillion & then come back to this and other Feanor stories. The whole kinslaying episode was disturbing (& why I've only read Silmarillion once, long ago), but it's there & the start of all the rest of the stories, so it's good to try to understand it. *shiver* Good job, thanks for writing.
| Gabrielle Lawson chapter 1 . 6/3/2002
This was good. Very good. A couple of typos and grammar mistakes but a good story. Chilling and disturbing but good. (A question though: I didn't get the feeling that all of Alqualonde was destroyed. Certainly not all the Teleri were killed.)
| Altariel chapter 1 . 5/28/2002
"All changed, changed utterly
A terrible beauty is born."
An absolutely splendid and unflinching piece; thought-provoking, chilling, and beautifully written. The repetition of the name Alqualondë is like the pumping out of blood, or a chant at a funeral. Superb.
| Vasiliki chapter 1 . 5/6/2002
The fic is well-written, but one's soul rebels at the message passed across through the author's notes.
Only a madman would think that the beauty that one can find (?) in the carnage and destruction of Alqualonde worths more than the beauty of living Alqualonde -and while I think Feanor's last line is a perfect portrayal of him at the time, this Maglor who says "magnificent" isn't Tolkien's Maglor.
I like how you use often in your fics the motif of a subject line that keeps repeating through the story.