Reviews for Press Your Luck
James Birdsong chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
Good little story
Rain Crow chapter 1 . 7/7/2011
Hey, this is a fun little story! I liked the way you started it off with the kind of disjointed discussion that close friends often have. Poor Dale, he's confused by daily life more often than not. It's not really fair for Chip to start off a conversation with a non-sequester, if that is even possible...

Anyway, you don't spend much time describing the setting, but the words that you do use up are effective. You show that Chip and Dale live in a tree with some rather modern (or not, the show came out in 1989) amenities considering that they're rodents, and that's enough. One of the advantages of writing a fanfiction is that most of your audience is probably going to be passingly familiar with the setting before they even start reading.

The salute to Duck Tales and the old Chip and Dale shorts was funny, and I wonder if it makes this story a crossover.

So, you've got a fun premise (just what were the chipmunks doing before they started sleuthing?), snappy, well executed dialog that makes up most of a well paced short. I'm glad I read it. My only advice might be to change Dale's weapon of choice from a miniature baseball bat into something more hilariously tiny and mundane... a #2 Ticonderoga with a Micky Mouse eraser stock to the end might do the trick.

Keep on scribblin'!