|Reviews for Sucker Punch|
| JanEyrEvanescence12 chapter 11 . 9/26/2011
EV, you've outdone yourself, as usual. This was tightly written. The pacing was just right. It didn't drag nor did I feel rushed. It was the perfect balance of action and down time.
The characters were fleshed out so well. When I got to the part where Britt was injured, a knot formed in my stomach. (Ok, I know that he's the hero and was going to win, but still). I was rooting for Kato, Casey and Frank as they were working hard to not only solve the case, but help Britt. And yes, you didn't shy away from how much pain Britt was in and what was going to happen as his wounds healed. Especially the big fears with major concussions (that's what killed Natasha Richardson, she hit her head pretty hard and it bled. If she got to the hospital sooner, she might have lived). That tension was there so great job.
Aw, Matizello, what's not to love about hating this guy? He's sneaky, slimy, smooth talking and above all, very dangerous. If he's willing to kill his father and basically taunt Grom into rampages, what isn't this guy capable of? I also liked how there was a valid explanation for not only Grom's size but apparent sentinence. For whatever reason, I'm not terribly fond of the big dumb muscle, but you fleshed him out enough that it made sense.
I do have a questio.n I was wondering why Kato obeyed Britt in the first place and allowed him to go first during the first fight scene. Ok, then we wouldn't have a plot, but Kato sounds like the kind of man who would jump right into a dangerous situation without Britt telling him. Have you heard the phrase 'always trust your gut'? There's truth in that statement, believe it or not. That counts in dangerous situations and it was clear Kato felt something was wrong. So why didn't he disobey Britt and walk ahead?
There were several close calls in the episodes where Britt got in really big trouble and if Kato hadn't jumped in when he did, he would've been unmasked (or worse yet, killed). So if you can reason why Kato listened to Britt
In any case, this was really well done and I could actually see this as an episode of the television series.
| IcyWaters chapter 1 . 7/7/2011
Before I commence reviewing, I must urge you to break this into chapters. My schedule has been hectic lately, so I’ve been reading your story over the past few days as time allows, trying to remember where I left off. :-) It would also make reviewing easier – there’s a good, meaty plot and many things I want to comment on that I’ll probably forget to touch upon. :-)
Here’s what I loved about it:
1) The plot is very compelling and engrossing. From the opening lines with Casey worrying about Britt’s safety, there was a delicious sense of foreboding dread lingering in the air. I have a soft spot for the hero in trouble and this is no exception. You created a very believable scenario for the Hornet getting injured. He was confident and capable, but finally met a force beyond his capabilities.
2) I admire how you never shy away from the severity of Britt’s beating. I hate when authors gloss over serious injuries, so it was refreshing to see the aftermath of a serious concussion dealt with intelligently and realistically. A blow to the head isn’t something you shrug off.
On a side note, I don’t care who you are – getting shot or stabbed will hurt! That’s one of the reasons I love “Bad Bet on a 459 – Silent” so much. It was obvious Britt was in pain. :-) Hmm, not that I want him in pain, but you understand, right? :-)
3) The interactions between the characters were wonderful. The strong bond Britt and Kato share is evident, as was the friendship between all the characters. Frank’s concern for Britt was well written and Casey’s range of emotions was very touching.
Oh, and I also liked how Casey referred to her boss as Britt. :-) We never got to hear that on the show. :-)
4) Tony was an appropriately slimy villain. His ruthless and evil demeanor was established long before he killed his father. Even though Grom battered Britt, I still felt sympathetic toward him.
5) The ending was amusing. It’s not everyday we get to see Mike singing the praises of the Green Hornet!
Here are a few parts I wasn’t clear on...or just nitpicky about. :-)
1) In the show, Mike usually called Britt by his first name. I can’t recall him ever referring to his boss as ‘Reid’. That felt off to me.
2) When the Hornet and Kato prepare to leave the house you describe how they took the lift to the garage. Since the Black Beauty is stored in the garage on the underside of the rotating platform with Britt’s day car above, why would they take the lift there? The garage is attached to the townhome – couldn’t they just use the door?
3) Why is Casey taking the lift to enter Britt’s house? It seems perfectly reasonable that she would use the front door, especially after the excuse is given that Britt is sick and she’s taking paperwork to him.
4) I liked Tony as the villain, but I must admit I was far more interested in the scenes with Britt and company. When I got to the parts focusing on Tony, I tended to skim over them while I slowed down and savored the parts with Britt at home of Casey at the office with Mike. It’s not so much a complaint I suppose as it is my personal preference…
Overall, this was a very enjoyable read with a strong storyline. I do think you could use a good beta reader to correct a few typos I spotted along the way (they are worth their weight in gold, IMO). I hope you will continue to write for the GH! :-)