Reviews for Two for One
Phillies2 chapter 1 . 11/26/2016
The only thing I could see wrong was how he was hard again for Padma after cumming in Parivati. Other then that great One Shot story
hunzbookwyrm chapter 1 . 10/3/2016
loved it from beginning to end, great story, hope to see more soon
Guest chapter 1 . 9/24/2016
Nice story! Half through I realized they were only 14 )
So usually guys need some kind of refraction period between coming and getting hard again, and I still have to meet a girl who says her first time was awesome. Actually, almost everyone I know says that the first couple times sucked. Big time...
Blazeb79 chapter 1 . 9/9/2016
Nice! Hogwarts the school for sluts lol amazing school.
Guest chapter 1 . 10/3/2015
Very nice story, but let's be honnest , I've never heard of a first time being orgasmic for a girl, faaaaar from it!
Lauren Saint chapter 1 . 1/25/2015
Haha poor Ron gets nothing, nice one shot :D
Bmdm97 chapter 1 . 8/3/2014
hell of a good story i think you should continue it
Guest chapter 1 . 7/26/2014
Can you write a lemon with hermione and viktor that was briefly mentioned in this chapter?
S.L. Cooper chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
Good story. :)
Qoheleth chapter 1 . 1/25/2014
Dear randompandattack:

"If you don't like that kind of thing..." What if it's a question of more than just likes and dislikes?

Frosty Wolf chapter 1 . 11/9/2013
A nice read.
doubledamn chapter 1 . 11/7/2013
I hate being jealous of fictional characters...
Silver Heart11DOOM chapter 1 . 9/7/2013
more plz
Animalover205 chapter 1 . 7/17/2013
Not bad, I liked this one.
Runecutter chapter 1 . 5/7/2013
Okay. As lemons go this is not a bad one, the style is okay and the action gets along pretty nicely.

BUT and it is a really big but... it doesn't feel halfway right for a bunch of not very experienced 4th years on the verge between 14 and 15 and for most of them describing their first "all out" experiences... actually the scene where you "lost me" was the short glimpse at Hermione on the ship acting like out a professional porn video... Yeah right like the character is even distantly like that... on the first date with a guy who can't even say her name the right way then instant shower sex... of COURSE.

And it's not that i'm uncomfortable about their ages, i'm uncomfortable about how this does not even TRY to make it somewhat believable for their ages and several virgins included, this is nothing more than some porn tape adapted to fit Harry Potter with the names and places... which does not make it into a good HP story or even a good HP lemon PWP moment...

Especially since there's absolutely no need to let them have a go at it like rabbits right during the ballnight... why not make them date first and set the shagging into a more distant future where they were a little more credible with going about it like pros? It's all about context, situation and integrating of the characters into your setting. THIS does it (regrettably poorly) and could have done much better.
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