|Reviews for Things I Love in this World|
| lookalive-109 chapter 32 . 12/23/2017
So this is the first time im going to comment. I’m pretty amazed by the plot, like how the fuck can you even think and write that shit? and BLOODY HELL SING WTF you’re gonna make me cry!
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/16/2017
| evenstarlily chapter 2 . 6/7/2017
isn't this chapter a part of Obsession? just finished reading it, loved it! was glad to see that you had other stories up! can't wait to see how this goes!
| Guest chapter 3 . 6/6/2017
why not fred? You could have gotten rid of Molly or Remus for Fred...
| Guest chapter 8 . 5/19/2017
This is a good story will read the rest of it
| GatorLHA2 chapter 1 . 5/19/2017
| Ieahleen chapter 1 . 5/19/2017
I had lots of difficult of reading this chapter, I think the story is interesting and I will try reading the following chapters but this one, not formatted but with all HTML as plain text is really difficult to read... I know it's an old chapter but if you could return here just to adjust the formatting would be really great!
| Corseted.Pirate chapter 6 . 11/19/2016
The song you quoted at the start of Chapter 6 is not originally by that band, it was first performed by Fleetwood Mac. Not to be a stick in the mud or anything. Fleetwood Mac is a great band, that song has been covered by many other artists most of whom actually tell their fans it's a cover. I'm sure the Dixie Chicks are great, but that is not their song.
| EnvyTheSnake chapter 12 . 6/17/2016
Seriously not cool man. There certainly needs to be a graphic rape warning.
| 5StarChickenSalads chapter 14 . 6/7/2016
I'm laughing really hard because of the word crustaceous. Also its making me hungry. Me thinks you might 'ave the wrong word... if I'm in the wrong I'm sorry. I did get a good laugh though... i apologize if i offended anyone. *runs away* btw GREAT STORY!
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/23/2016
Type your review for this chapter here...
| Shipping-All-Ships chapter 37 . 12/21/2015
Ah, that was amazing, thank you for writing that.
I'm very glad you didn't have walls upon walls of text, I would have left and never given this beauty a chance. Your pacing was off a bit in places, making it feel a bit rushed, but that doesn't turn me off a good story ;)
All in all, very good for a first story. My first one was terrible, full of plot holes and mary sues and just terrible writing. If you made any mistakes, none stuck out, so kudos on that. You did very well and if this greatness continues, I'll definitely be following Obsession.
| Shipping-All-Ships chapter 1 . 12/20/2015
This has a very good start, and I'm glad to see its completed so i don't have to wait for updates lol.
The only advice you need is on paragraphs and pacing. If someone is talking (though no one has yet)or if the topic is changing, start a new paragraph. Walls of text are hard to read and no matter how good the story is, if it's formatted like that, people will stop reading.
On the pacing, just don't rush things, let the story flow naturally. Don't rush the plot because of the deadline, readers will wait a few extra days for a good story.
The best advice I ever got on writing is that the first time you write the story, you are telling it to yourself. The second time you read it, you are telling it to the reader. Basically, just write what comes to mind and when it's all done, go back and add in details that you think are necessary. Take out a whole paragraph if it doesn't fit, reword that one sentence that was giving you trouble earlier, add in some details that you didn't think of when you were first writing it.
| Snake-faced chapter 1 . 12/1/2015
I really like it and I am excited to read the rest
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2015
It's a good start! :)
Although in my opinion you really don't need that many different ways of writing things the characters say/whisper/think etc. Usually those things can very easily be comprehended from the context. Unfortunately, if there are too many different ways of writing in the story I feel it ofter interrupts with the flow of the story. If you want to highlight something is different (spells,thoughts, maybe parseltongue) you could use the one you now use for thoughts (sorry, I don't know the english name for it). You really don't need so many different ways. As I said before, context tells quite a bit, and you can also write what the character is doing (He said/whispered/hissed/etc) to clarify the situation.
However, this is a very minor thing and I doupt it would drive anyone away. Also, this fic is completed, but I thought if you still read the reviews it might be a usefull bit of advice for the future fics. But if you like writing like that, it's cool, it's your style and I respect that. :)