|Reviews for Things I love in this world|
| EnvyTheSnake chapter 12 . 6/17
Seriously not cool man. There certainly needs to be a graphic rape warning.
| 5StarChickenSalads chapter 14 . 6/7
I'm laughing really hard because of the word crustaceous. Also its making me hungry. Me thinks you might 'ave the wrong word... if I'm in the wrong I'm sorry. I did get a good laugh though... i apologize if i offended anyone. *runs away* btw GREAT STORY!
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/23
Type your review for this chapter here...
| Shipping-All-Ships chapter 37 . 12/21/2015
Ah, that was amazing, thank you for writing that.
I'm very glad you didn't have walls upon walls of text, I would have left and never given this beauty a chance. Your pacing was off a bit in places, making it feel a bit rushed, but that doesn't turn me off a good story ;)
All in all, very good for a first story. My first one was terrible, full of plot holes and mary sues and just terrible writing. If you made any mistakes, none stuck out, so kudos on that. You did very well and if this greatness continues, I'll definitely be following Obsession.
| Shipping-All-Ships chapter 1 . 12/20/2015
This has a very good start, and I'm glad to see its completed so i don't have to wait for updates lol.
The only advice you need is on paragraphs and pacing. If someone is talking (though no one has yet)or if the topic is changing, start a new paragraph. Walls of text are hard to read and no matter how good the story is, if it's formatted like that, people will stop reading.
On the pacing, just don't rush things, let the story flow naturally. Don't rush the plot because of the deadline, readers will wait a few extra days for a good story.
The best advice I ever got on writing is that the first time you write the story, you are telling it to yourself. The second time you read it, you are telling it to the reader. Basically, just write what comes to mind and when it's all done, go back and add in details that you think are necessary. Take out a whole paragraph if it doesn't fit, reword that one sentence that was giving you trouble earlier, add in some details that you didn't think of when you were first writing it.
| Snake-faced chapter 1 . 12/1/2015
I really like it and I am excited to read the rest
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/31/2015
It's a good start! :)
Although in my opinion you really don't need that many different ways of writing things the characters say/whisper/think etc. Usually those things can very easily be comprehended from the context. Unfortunately, if there are too many different ways of writing in the story I feel it ofter interrupts with the flow of the story. If you want to highlight something is different (spells,thoughts, maybe parseltongue) you could use the one you now use for thoughts (sorry, I don't know the english name for it). You really don't need so many different ways. As I said before, context tells quite a bit, and you can also write what the character is doing (He said/whispered/hissed/etc) to clarify the situation.
However, this is a very minor thing and I doupt it would drive anyone away. Also, this fic is completed, but I thought if you still read the reviews it might be a usefull bit of advice for the future fics. But if you like writing like that, it's cool, it's your style and I respect that. :)
| Azael-Ruthven chapter 21 . 10/25/2015
'Pelure' doesn't mean skin. I'm french. I would know.
| Arcangelos chapter 24 . 10/8/2015
Oh no my heart has broke!
| Pyrane chapter 34 . 7/1/2015
Thank you for the story !
| fifespice chapter 32 . 6/23/2015
jeeze such dreams harry has
| fifespice chapter 31 . 6/23/2015
he he nice way to kill vernon git deserved it tee hee
| fifespice chapter 30 . 6/23/2015
draco is priceless so funny
| fifespice chapter 29 . 6/23/2015
aww all hail snape for getting tom to admit he loved harry hes awesome
| fifespice chapter 28 . 6/23/2015
go snape have to love him