|Reviews for Victor's spoils|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/16
can u write another story like this?
| Skeiron chapter 1 . 10/20/2014
I just love how many reviewers complained about the age of the characters, but what they seem to forget, is that the whole 'too young' idea was only made by society in the last few centuries, if that.
| Jen chapter 1 . 9/5/2014
They are ELEVEN! This is disturbing, not to mention bordering on child porn. Please remove it immediately.
| Sammyboy94 chapter 1 . 5/17/2014
| Shadow Dragon3221 chapter 1 . 2/24/2014
It was a fun horny little chapter/story. Only thing that I have to complain about other than grammar errors (common amongst all writers) is the timeline. The troll happened on Halloween night and the next day would be November 1, but in this the next day was Christmas. In my opinion that was a little hard to wrap my mind around. Otherwise it was really good.
| Nella Hyuga chapter 1 . 11/5/2013
thats actually cute :3
| Runecutter chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
As a story it is okay. There are some small problems with the language but i've seen worse on this site so it's nothing to worry too much about.
The only thing i can't really wrap my mind around is the honest concept to let them have sex at eleven/twelve and to turn it so important for the whole story, basically it IS the story... Well, i don't believe the changes that needs to make in their personalities, i don't believe that the stress might lure them into "giving in" in that situation or anything like that, because there is no real motivation explained in the story and it does not work without painfully exact denoting what changed and how it ended up making them shag like the bunnies. They do not even sound like preteens... more like they were posessed by some hardcore porn spirit or demon ;) "Huge" at eleven? That must have been the weirdest plot twist and ended the last vestige of credibility for me. ;)
So: it's not that badly written and more experience with writing will probably help limiting the handful of mistakes made, but it's falling far too short when aspiring so heighty a goal as making it believable that those two will have gratuitous after fight sex in the situation known from the first book. Where's the inner monologue leading to that moment of truth? Where's the external factors changing both from the people we have read about so much? It is not impossible to make this work, but it would take a lot of work to make it smooth and into an enjoyable read at the same time. Sorry.
Maybe you should really have chosen a point in one of the later books... after the ministry or even on the calm down after the night with dementors and a werewolf at the end of third book. Perhaps even the tournament to make the Victor pun stick...
| Kai chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
Interesting. I don't know where you come from, but when I was eleven, I had neither a huge penis, good for several rounds of sex, nor the knowledge of how to please a girl orally. And no way with a badly mangled body.
| Fenrir of the North chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
...They. Are. Eleven. Years. Old! This is rather disturbing, that this is allowed on this site...
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Come on dude ...what everyone else says 11!
| I'm chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
Got to agree with the other reviews. Was a very unpleasant surprise to see how the story developed regards to the "adult content" considering the setting of the characters. Im new to fanfiction and hopefully will not encounter this sort of story again.
| perspective21 chapter 1 . 12/8/2012
This is honestly one of the BEST Smut FICS of HHR I have EVER read.
No, I'm kidding.
HONESTLY, this is one of the worst stories I have EVER read on this site. Not only are there so many grammar and sentence structure errors, but the content is so HORRENDOUS! I literally had to laugh my way through it to refrain from shooting myself in the head.
Your summary was easy to see through. Harry defeats the troll alone, Hermione repays him? I just HAD to read it to see it someone really had the balls to write something so disgusting.
THEY ARE 11! GROSS GROSS GROSS. Even if kids in the REAL WORLD really do have sex at this age, it certainly isn't like what you described and it certainly isn't okay.
Also, there's no story here and even there was a small shred of evidence that there was, then it sucks. Majorly.
Truly, awful, spoon-my-eyes-out type of story.
Go to college, get better, or give up writing.
P.S. Also, yay! My first flame. Thanks, you deserved it.
| Primus2021 chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
Really would like to see this fic continued.
| PeterAmaranth09 chapter 1 . 9/26/2012
very nicely done :)
| HarryHermioneEdwardBella chapter 1 . 5/29/2012