|Reviews for Victor's spoils|
| FanFic4Evr chapter 1 . 5/7
There are tons of negative comments about their age. People realise that that wasn't rare years ago. People got married at 13 or 14. MARRIED. And for nobilty, or rich people, it was sooner. It is only recently that you have to be an 'adult' or close to being an adult. And on top of that, if you come into a story that is rated M and says 1st year, well, you were warned.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/9
Lol really there only 11 years old Dam
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/10/2016
...you do know that they would've been 11 and 12 right? 12 for Hermione due to her birthday if I remember correctly being in September and the only reason she's not a 2nd year instead of being a 1st year with harry's year
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/29/2016
1. Way too young. It's just disturbing.
2. Lots of grammar errors.
3. How the hell would Hermione know how to stitch someone up?
4. The bathroom she was in was on the third floor, was it not? How did they get to the RoR?
5. Ron wouldn't still be eating as the students were ordered back to their dorms.
Sorry, but there were way too many things wrong with this story for me to like it.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/23/2015
OK ALRIGHT. IM SICK OF THE OTHER REVIEWS. TOO YOUNG? WELL IT WAS INTENDED IN THE STORY THAT IT WOULD BE RATED M! WHICH MEANS IT IS A SMUT!
Jeez, cant even spot the innuendo that Hermione wants to "repay" her saviour? Although the sex wasnt supposed to happen, just Hermione wanting to repay her saviour by healing him. Until Harry got a boner (which is ridiculously long, Seriously author? I had the misfortune of accidentally watching my cousin -when he was 10 and I was 8- dress in front of the mirror, slipping his boxers, and I saw a most likely 4-5 inch pingus -heehee-)
But anyway, GOOD STORY THO.
Ive wanted a story like this bc I wanted to see people's views on making 11 Harmony smut.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/16/2015
can u write another story like this?
| Skeiron chapter 1 . 10/20/2014
I just love how many reviewers complained about the age of the characters, but what they seem to forget, is that the whole 'too young' idea was only made by society in the last few centuries, if that.
| Jen chapter 1 . 9/5/2014
They are ELEVEN! This is disturbing, not to mention bordering on child porn. Please remove it immediately.
| Sammyboy94 chapter 1 . 5/17/2014
| Shadow Dragon3221 chapter 1 . 2/24/2014
It was a fun horny little chapter/story. Only thing that I have to complain about other than grammar errors (common amongst all writers) is the timeline. The troll happened on Halloween night and the next day would be November 1, but in this the next day was Christmas. In my opinion that was a little hard to wrap my mind around. Otherwise it was really good.
| Nella Hyuga chapter 1 . 11/5/2013
thats actually cute :3
| Runecutter chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
As a story it is okay. There are some small problems with the language but i've seen worse on this site so it's nothing to worry too much about.
The only thing i can't really wrap my mind around is the honest concept to let them have sex at eleven/twelve and to turn it so important for the whole story, basically it IS the story... Well, i don't believe the changes that needs to make in their personalities, i don't believe that the stress might lure them into "giving in" in that situation or anything like that, because there is no real motivation explained in the story and it does not work without painfully exact denoting what changed and how it ended up making them shag like the bunnies. They do not even sound like preteens... more like they were posessed by some hardcore porn spirit or demon ;) "Huge" at eleven? That must have been the weirdest plot twist and ended the last vestige of credibility for me. ;)
So: it's not that badly written and more experience with writing will probably help limiting the handful of mistakes made, but it's falling far too short when aspiring so heighty a goal as making it believable that those two will have gratuitous after fight sex in the situation known from the first book. Where's the inner monologue leading to that moment of truth? Where's the external factors changing both from the people we have read about so much? It is not impossible to make this work, but it would take a lot of work to make it smooth and into an enjoyable read at the same time. Sorry.
Maybe you should really have chosen a point in one of the later books... after the ministry or even on the calm down after the night with dementors and a werewolf at the end of third book. Perhaps even the tournament to make the Victor pun stick...
| Kai chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
Interesting. I don't know where you come from, but when I was eleven, I had neither a huge penis, good for several rounds of sex, nor the knowledge of how to please a girl orally. And no way with a badly mangled body.
| Fenrir of the North chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
...They. Are. Eleven. Years. Old! This is rather disturbing, that this is allowed on this site...
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Come on dude ...what everyone else says 11!