|Reviews for The Voyage of the Starship Hedwig|
| Trufla chapter 8 . 8/26/2011
Pretty good work with this chapter, again! I suspected there was a rapid-deployment force on standby for when the tracking signals moved, and it answered my own questions about what the goblins had been doing during all this. Nice use of WWW fireworks techniques to both confuse aerial attack, and spread some necessary chaff. The decoy "missiles" were something of a surprise (literally, as I don't recall even a hint of any major construction going on outside of the Hedwig in earlier chapters,) but they make sense as something that Hermione and the planning team would have come up with as a diversionary tactic. That being said, it might have made the abrupt deployment a little more believable for the reader if there had at least been mention a few places along the way in earlier chapters about some of the work being put in by teams tasked with launch defense, and maybe a little discussion from the materials procurement group about the amount of resources diverted from the primary construction towards what some probably considered as "non-essential" projects.
Other than that minor quibble, I think you've got a very strong chapter here, and even if the goblin negotiating tactics leave a lot to be desired, at least hopefully the travel group will have an opportunity for a fresh start once the Hedwig reaches a new home. (Until then, I'm sure that relations are going to be somewhat prickly in the traveling sphere, though with the bulk of the problem wizards on ice for the trip, at least Harry and company could attempt to push for a more open relationship between groups.
Finally, I like that it took a magical appeal from the purest magical being to ultimately protect the departure. It's sad in a way, too. I really don't want to consider just what is going to happen to any magical Muggleborn in the future on this particular version of the Earth. At the very least, I certainly hope that Harry and company didn't leave enough plans and designs behind for their work to be replicated, or I see a strong possibility of attack against their new home in fifty years or so, under the aegis of controlled magical drones. One can hope in this case that the destruction wrought was enough to break easy recovery of magical techniques by any Terrestrial force.
Looking forward to the next installment, though given what we know is coming up, I'm also not going to be happy to read it. Here's hoping for a really good exit scene for George. It had better be some of his truly greatest work, something to let the whole world know that WWW is truly the greatest purveyor of entertaining magical wonders in the world.
| mmendoza688 chapter 8 . 8/26/2011
I hope Fawkes makes it to the ship.
| Inziladun chapter 8 . 8/26/2011
Great chapter, I liked that there was a plot by the goblins, I would be a little too easy if not. Now I'm sure there is going to be trouble, the las sentence (I think we made it.) implies it. However I hope it doesn't cause much trouble.
Now there are so many ways this could go wrong (the goblins, some secret satellite,...) that I just can't wait to read more.
| revan0407 chapter 8 . 8/26/2011
love the story i just wish they can get at least alittle payback they killed kids thats sick maybe release a virus
| Wonderbee31 chapter 8 . 8/26/2011
Wow, so Harry got a great bit of last minute help there, and will look forward to what might be a journey that lasts only a moment, or one that really does lead to a strange new world. Can't wait to see what all happens on and after this voyage.
| george17 chapter 8 . 8/26/2011
Wow! Awesome, action chapter! More than any other time in this fic that one really made it as high intensity action. Nicely done and with great timing.
On a side note, Poppy's being an idiot but it's very realistic based on how wizards are portrayed as lacking logic and ignorant of modern science. Given their small population size, Hermione was being very realistic.
I wonder if not taking dragons might be a big mistake given how useful they can be and how easily wizards appeared to be able to control them.
| Bobboky chapter 7 . 8/21/2011
| mmendoza688 chapter 7 . 8/21/2011
Yes! Almost there!
| Inziladun chapter 7 . 8/21/2011
Now, this is evil, leaving us like this, waiting for something to happen during the rescue mission and then finding that it won't happen until the next update.
Well, congratulations (as I'm sure that's what you wanted), keep up the great work.
| Trufla chapter 7 . 8/21/2011
Well, I like this chapter. You've covered most of the concerns I've had to this point about the viability of the Hedwig venture. The fauna cargo list is right at the viability barrier, but then we are talking about wizards, so I suspect that if they make a successful planetfall, a bit of selective magical breeding can expand the species base through unnatural evolution. Nice to see that at least two of the other magical sentient species have signed on for the trip. I'll miss the dragons, but I'm with Harry in thinking that they are just too dangerous to take along. Hopefully, there will be something similar already in residence at the other end of the trip. (And I would hope that at least Hermione if no one else has given some thought to the possibility of various forms of life already being on any new planet.)
Moving on to the rescue, that was a reasonably well-thought out commando plan, and I also have to give kudos for the implanted tracer modules. That is exactly the sort of backup option I would have expected out of the military. Now, we just need to see if any of my concerns about the problems the Hedwig is going to encounter on launch and insertion to orbit come true. Wizarding transport is good, but their non-teleport-style modes of propulsion don't seem to hold a candle to top-end military avionics. The only possible solution to that I can see is if Luna or someone else in the engineering/propulsion crew found a way to adapt the Knight Bus spells to the Hedwig for atmospheric flight. I was truly sorry to hear from George about the need for a human pilot for the Floo Bomb module, but given a busted twin link, I find it a quite believable solution on his part, and quite possibly the most fitting finale for a prankster Weasley. Talk about going out with a bang and a blaze of glory. I suspect even if there was a problem with the Floo Bomb, George would make it work by simple force of will in the end.
The heating issues look like that could be a real problem, and I really want to see just what effect losing the earth and the associated ley lines and magical environment is going to have on spellcasting in general. I'm sure that Hermione and the Ravenclaws are going to be hard at work analyzing said effects once the voyage begins. It could be interesting to see that once underway, the internal magic fields of the rune spells and such start feeding on personal magic once deprived of the external environmental fields for support. Might even make for an interesting "I told you so" moment for Olivander once the effect becomes noted.
Looking forward to the next installment.
| Wonderbee31 chapter 7 . 8/21/2011
Whew, it looks like it's going to come right down to the wire here, and will be hopeful that things turn out for the best, even as the wizards continue to get stymied one way or the other when they try to take an offensive role.
| orochi.exe chapter 6 . 8/20/2011
Awesome story! Continue this, It's Great!
| george17 chapter 6 . 8/14/2011
[there had been several other "Perenelles" before Nicolas had finally settled on this one.]
That's a great twist! I don't think I've ever saw anyone use that idea before and yet it seems so plausible for a 600 year old wizard! In hindsight you wonder why it's not used all the time.
Colonel Poshepny and the whole muggle situation seems kind of weak in a sense. You really can't imaging that the Prime Minister, let alone the President would have any real problem stopping or killing him if they are already capable of ordering their troops away. Then all the power he seems to have is crazy for a colonel. On the other hand it is no more unbelievable than the typical James Bond villain. It's no more ridiculous than the mysterious Colonel Green of Star Trek. It maybe only stands out a bit compared to how well everything else hangs together.
The wizards and Harry are doing some really stupid things. Yet, that's nothing new for wizards and this story takes place with 17 year old Harry who didn't even finish what is effectively his last year of high school. Also, contrary to typical fanon, this Harry is starting from canon and has no real leadership experience beyond a very small group and running a dueling club. He's mentally and physically exhausted from the Voldemort years. It's actually incredibly realistic that he makes screw ups especially at first. He is totally stressed out while being jerked in difference directions as he tries to figure out whose advice is correct.
| Inziladun chapter 6 . 8/14/2011
Good job with this chapter, I cant wait to read more.
| Trufla chapter 6 . 8/14/2011
Ok, this was a pretty good chapter. You filled in some of the areas I'd been wondering about regarding the other sentient magical races, dealing with the captured wizarding population, and at least some of the ship-related engineering issues. Harry's idea to neutralize the unruly elements in his passenger list makes a lot of sense, and I have to admit that I like the plan of using basilisk gaze via reflection to induce stasis on the fauna portion of the cargo. As long as the Mandrake Restorative Draught is a potion that has a decent shelf-life, they won't even need any brewing time on arrival to revive all the petrified beings.
On the matter of Harry's on-going personality alteration, I can see where Neville and some of the others might be concerned, but looking at things from Harry's side, he's dealing with a bunch of hide-bound traditionalists who are still playing the sort of games that almost got him killed, along with every single person that he still has any sort of feelings for. I can see where in this set of circumstances his tolerance has narrowed to a very thin thread. Harry can't afford to relax even the slightest amount until the Hedwig is in space and away.
The whole scene between Harry and the colonel makes way too much sense, it's a classic black op, and from the Mundane's side of things, getting one of their problems to deal with the other can only be a win-win situation. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the detainment facility is booby-trapped with something like a deadman tactical nuclear device or some form of lethal bioweapon to deal with any rescue force. That recovery operation is going to be a pain, but I also can't see Harry not at least trying for a rescue. Hopefully, his figurative slaps to the cheeks of Luna shocked her out of her depression. I'll admit, her plan was what got a lot of Harry's most reliable strike force neutralized, but given that they were dealing with incorrect information about their enemy, setbacks were to be expected.
And finally, nice way to demonstrate just how much of a powerhouse Harry is magically. I can imagine just what sort of looks he gets now that people have a concrete measure of his power levels. That is one seriously impressive Space Expansion Charm.
Here's hoping your Muse continues to feel frisky for your inspiration.