Reviews for The Game: Young Blood
onceover chapter 1 . 10/5/2014
:) have a cookie MoD [::] nice one! [::] and a sammich for you XD {}
SchwarzWeiss ZwillingsMonde chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
I just want to say thank you.

I've read this fic some time ago, and I realized that I can relate to Nana , I was the other twin, the quiet one, the weird one, the unimportant one.

When I was younger, and even until about five months ago, I didnt really interact much with other people, I always stuck with my sister, I never truly reached out to anyone, I was almost always stuck behind a glass wall, and when someone brakes down the glass wall I interact with them and the outside world for a bit, but then the bullies came, they picked on me, teased me, insulted me, shuned me, made me feel like an outcast, and almost made me believe I was one, and forced me to rebuild the glass wall in order to not get picked on again and just stand back behind the safety of my glass wall and observe the world around me instead of interact with it.

This went on and on for about seven, maybe eight, more years, and each time I step out of my own little world from which I observe the world from behind the glass wall to interact with people, each time someone would shatter the glass wall to get to know the true me, each time I think I have gained a true friend, the bullies would come, time and time again they would always come, they force me to once again rebuild my glass wall, hardening it with scorn and hatred, making it more difficult for others to brake through. I guess that maybe why I love stories, and why I never used to leave a review, I was afraid of steaping outside the safety of the glass wall.

But all that changed when I read this fic, I became aware that being the way I am is not a good thing, so I broke down my glass wall, I braved the insults of the bullies, and I actually made my first friend, my first true friend in all the fourteen years I have lived, I interacted more with the outside world, I started leaving reviews, and when the bullies almost made me go back and seek safety behind the glass wall, all the strength and willpower I had gained throught my experience in the outside world helped me stand strong.

Now, I am no longer picked on by bullies, I had many friends, I have my own name in the outside world, and no longer shall I be known as the unimportant one, the wierd one, or the other twin.
Souldin chapter 1 . 11/6/2011
I had once skim read this fanfic, reading because it interested me, skimming because I thought I would not understand a word of it unless I have read the fanfic it's connected. Now, as part of the requirement for the Assist Worthy Contest prize, I'm happily forced to read this fanfic.

The good news starts with the best news to hear, not knowing anything about the fanfic, 'The Game', does not seem to hinder my understanding of this story. I found Nana to be an incredibly interesting character and with personality traits of which I have found applying to the character myself in writing, such similarities though are a result of how Nana's character has been made, drawn from the Ice Climber's game play in SSB. Most writers generate the personality of uncharacterised characters from their background, setting and appearance, few do so from their game play and it's a shame because some delightfully entertainment and rich personalities can be drawn from a game's character game play. The style of writing is one of which I love to see, and makes delving into the thoughts of the Ice Climber a wonderful experience with great amounts of detail and vocabulary. The exploration of the world of 'The Game' is a great tribute to the series (though I'm unfamiliar with the series so I can't say how great but it feels great), and presents more of Nana's character through her observations and reflections on what she is seeing and the act of her watching the others.

The bad news is, though this fanfic tries to be an intellectual exploration of character it is prevented from its objective by length, events, and its purpose as a tribute to 'The Game'. The fanfic has its subject for exploration and does this well in the first part; however it begins to steer away from Nana to focus on the other characters in order to pay tribute to 'The Game'. This in itself isn't a problem, but Nana's interpretations of what she sees don't relate to her furthering her own exploration of character and so her character does not advance from the beginning. It only seems too at the very end, in which sets the tone of this fanfic as a short but quaint fanfic rather than an intellectual exploration of character like it started doing at the beginning. While a short and quaint fanfic isn’t a bad feel to have for a story, a story that feels intelligent is appreciated much more and remains in the memory for far longer.

Though this fanfic suffers from a shift in mood and tone the quality of writing does not, nor does the intrigue in the setting and characters of ‘The Game’, and Nana forever remains a likable protagonist and narrator for this story. Amazing job, keep up the great work!
CharmyMew chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
I don't see many fics about Nana. It's nice to read one for a change.

I like The Game, and I feel like this could actually be a part of the story, like MouseMaster wrote it, but it has your style of writing. It's a wonderful story. :)
MouseMaster42 chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
Wow.

Just...

Wow.

I am BEYOND honored to have created something that would inspire a work like this, and even more honored to know awesome people like you who would be able to take the story I wrote and turn it into something like this. Everything is perfect. You got all of the relationships down PERFECTLY, and you wrote it so beautifully. I loved everything about this; the tone, the way you were able to turn one of the characters that I've left undeveloped into someone who everyone can sympathize with and watch the story unfold, the way you phrased things...phenomenal.

But if I had to pick one thing as my favorite, I'd go with the way you described Marth and Samus's relationship. I keep coming back to that paragraph about the bench just so I can read it again and soak in its awesomeness. MAN. You did a better job than I usually do. XD

Thank you so much! Thank you thank you! :)
Araceli L chapter 1 . 7/8/2011
Wow, I loved it so much more than I thought I would. This really surprised me in terms of insightfulness (though in retrospect, it really shouldn't, consindering who wrote it) and was truly extremely tasteful. It wasn't just a one-shot in the sense that Mousey's are (though hers are beautiful); it was a mature, thoughtful idea, a whole story in it's own. And I loved it a lot. I think the idea of the glass wall shattering was fantastic, and really the way you tied it into The Game was flawless. Your characterization of Nana really makes me want to write about her (not in the way I normally do, you know :3). Also, ha, I've tried to time a fic to a song, but it never works out...kudos on trying anyway! Anyway, congrats on a great fic.
Foxpilot chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
I've never been fond of songfics. They just don't play out right in my head. Either the prose is interrupted or the song goes by the wayside. But I don't know this song, so you wrote a story.

I'd say you've worked hard to capture the relationships and intended mood of the source story. And it worked, making a worthy experience for those who like a good friendship story or "The Game" itself. The downside to this, though, is that it limits the appeal. You've reached out to the audience of the source by labeling this as a side chapter to "The Game," rather than attracted new blood, so to speak. (Of course, I don't know the hit stats for this fic and for Mouse's creation, so I could be very wrong. Still, something to be wary of.)

In terms of general writing, it's rich in detail and lush in character. Like I said, you put a lot of effort into the relationships, and it shows. You also balanced that with Nana's inner turmoil, the actions of others, and the scenery to create (or emulate, whichever you feel is right) the world this takes place in.

Of course, you have a bit of a continuity break. At the bottom of a paragraph at about the 1/3 mark, you have Nana call Red "Quincy," despite establishing earlier that she doesn't know his real name.

Also, you should watch those commas. The opening paragraph is a run-on sentence, which kind of slowed the pace down right off the bat.

Nonetheless, this is the kind of work we expect to see from you by now. You don't disappoint and you show your research skillfully. A job well done, and certainly one for the resume.