|Reviews for Twilight Vision|
| SafeKept chapter 1 . 7/2/2011
This was really short. And sort of... odd.
So, Alice's child... worked out the square root of pi? Or pie? And she was swimming and James turned up and she leans back in discontent? This timeline confuses me. Actually, this story confuses me in general.
Okay, fine. I'll shut up and accept that Alice had a child. If I don't I'll just blather on about that for paragraphs. But it doesn't make sense.
But... why was she working out the square root of pi? And why is James just showing up? Didn't he, like, die? Or doesn't that happen in this timeline? You need to explain these things a little. I get the pi thing was probaby to prove how clever she was, but it still didn't make much sense. And I'm not even going to try arguing with the maths. (Bu 1)
A couple of your similes make no sense, either. Harder than a metal rod? What?
I'm not meaning to be overly critical here, it's just I'm left kinda confused by the whole thing. Oh well. I'll probably keep reading anyway. Even if only for phrases like 'No, my Uncle Eddie is not a perverted sir.' Because... wow.