|Reviews for The dirty secret set free|
| JustYui chapter 15 . 9/10/2011
I'm odd because I don't leave a review until I've read every current chapter, but now is that time :D
This is probably the best fanfic I've read before, and I really like the way you depicted Flandre in this, though the basement is vastly different from how it looked in my own fanfics XD
Just the idea behind this one astounded me, since in any fanfic I remember (my own included) she broke out of the basement instead of being let out by Sakuya or anybody for that matter.
Maybe it's because I love seeing Flandre's monsterously destructive side (despite what this fanfic says) but I hope Flan gets into a big fight and breaks loose with Laevatien \m/ _ \m/
| Patcheresu chapter 15 . 9/6/2011
Exams probably got you worrying, duder.
Mystia's spell only works at night. Which is why it's night-blindness.
Reimu's shrine is not a few feet away from Eientei.
Nice spoiler there, jimbob.
Why does Flandre call her Erin but only once is she not correctly referred to as Eirin?
| SisterOfScarletDevil chapter 15 . 9/6/2011
PASS THE EXAMS! YOU CAN DO IT! :D
| FANFIC HUNTER chapter 15 . 9/6/2011
Just read this in one go.
Very good stuff now you have to have the obligatory remilia scene flashbacking to when she had to put her then insane sister down in to the basement and the horrific fight it sparked between them Because i sincerely doubt flandre went with out a fight.
You know staring out the window in the rain regretting mourning the fact she had to lock her away for her own safety and the safety of others.
| Hlpbgh chapter 14 . 8/29/2011
Whoops. It looks like I spoke in haste regarding chapter 6. While your formatting has improved from the initial chapters, your spelling and grammar seems to have deteriorated. Have you considered locating a proofreader, or, if you already have one, finding one more to double check the new chapters?
One problem in particular is your overusage of elipses. From the end of chapter 13:
"Ah Flandre…..are you ready to learn about it?...Your so innocent…how will you react when you learn the truth about what you are…and what you need to survive? But…..I can't keep you in the dark forever…and if you really want to see Mistress again…you have no choice but to find out…Its not fair for you…why is fate so cruel to people like you?...Oh well, I cannot change fate…but I can still help you cope better with it flandre….and maybe Remilia will see what its been like for you…and see that your really fit to be called her sister…."
Many of these elipses can be replaced with a period, comma, or semi colon, then followed by a space. Another grating aspect was your choice in characterization; it seemed as though you took all the sub-standard fanonical portrayals and just went with it, but that's acceptable since you're the author.
I'll wait for more, but in the meantime, maybe give a try. You can anonymously submit walls of text for your proofreader to view and correct, and include an expiration date so the text is removed after a period of time. Very convenient.
| SisterOfScarletDevil chapter 14 . 8/26/2011
Nah I enjoy the long chapters! Keep it up! 3
| Patcheresu chapter 14 . 8/26/2011
Pffft. That wasn't long. And that error about the qoutations was less noticeable with your good paragraphing. Or maybe this was long and I didn't notice because of the quotations.
Anyway, other than that, solid work. Eirin, Master Of Subtlety.
| SisterOfScarletDevil chapter 13 . 8/16/2011
Chen's Gensokyo Dance... Should have seen that one coming X3
I just love this story so far! It's so cute! .
| ChibiOkami200 chapter 13 . 8/12/2011
Great, I loved the episode, very good indeed, I look forward to continue!
| mbscncomcast.net chapter 6 . 8/6/2011
Well, the story thus far has been a pleasant change from the usual state of most Flandre-related fan fiction. I look forward to catching up on your story; so far it's proven better than the disappointment that was From The Sky and Beyond.
| shinyeevee chapter 13 . 8/6/2011
Good god, Chen too?My heart cant take the cuteness... The only thing cuter would be for her to meet Nazrin or Koishi... i did notice quite a few spelling errors though. I look forward to the next chapter!
*Goes to read a horror fic to counteract the cuteness*
| Patcheresu chapter 13 . 8/6/2011
Good chapter. I finally figured out what was wrong with your format.
You're supposed to make a new paragraph every time a different person speaks.
"Hey Saky!" Flandre rushed to Sakuya as she opened the huge library doors. "Look Saky! Look! I found a book about unbreaking!" Flandre said waving a blue leather bound book as she jumped up and down making her 'wings' make a nice clinking sound. Sakuya glanced at the medical notebook then turned her gaze to Patchouli with a questioning look. Patchouli didn't look up from the book she was engrossed in, but she replied all the same with a nonchalant voice.(Period)
"She asked me if there was anything to learn about doctors or unbreaking things, but don't look at me-cough cough- It was Koakuma who helped her find the book." She said, never tearing her gaze away from her precious book.
It makes huge walls if you don't.
| ChibiOkami200 chapter 12 . 8/5/2011
Great! great! I love this story! I loved it even though I do not know English, I read your great story thanks to the translator, and likewise leave comments, but seriously, I then want to know what happens with Flandre and Saky!
| Patcheresu chapter 12 . 8/5/2011
That tugged at the heartstrings. Well done. This is going on TVTropes Reccomended page for your fast updates and wonderful take on Flandre and Sakuya.
| chateauromani chapter 11 . 7/13/2011
Very cute! I like how you protrayed Marisa and Alice's relationship without the ooc problems that usually come with it. I hope Remilia doesn't find out about Flandre's adventures and lock her away or punish Sakuya. Can't wait for the next update!