Reviews for Teenagers
LadyBadass chapter 3 . 5/21/2015
I remember reading this story a year back and relating to Erin like crazy. I mean, I've never been much of a babysitter or a NAP, but the constant social anxiety and slight awkwardness were just traits that really touched me when it came to reading this story, because I related so badly. So I don't know. It's awfully weird for me to reread it now and not connect to her in the same way. My sassy thoughts will remain strong and so will my love for MCR, however it feels like I'm reading this story all over again as a different person. xD Sounds weird, I know.
But one thing I really loved about this story when I read it last time is the way you wrote it. I know Erin was based off of you and all, and that might be why you pulled it off so well, but the way that you seem to write straight from her mind, makes it so easy for me to connect to her. I honestly feel like a friend of mine is sitting next to me on the sofa and retelling her experiences on some island.
Good story, good story.
This is one of those that always makes me emotional, and I kind of hate you for that. However I am addicted to this, so I'm definitely just gonna lie around for the entire week and reread it. ;)
R chapter 22 . 3/24/2015
EHRMAGERD YOU'RE GONNA GO FAR KID IS MY FAVORITEST SONG EVER! Did you know that some people think it's Ralph singing to Jack?

"And now you lead the way" When Jack takes power

"Dance fucker dance, I never had a chance" the dance when the hunts kill Simon

"See the lightning in your eyes" the book describes Jack's eyes to be flashing with "lightning" when he starts to go crazy.
Queen of Silence chapter 9 . 2/25/2015
Ai yai yai.
Elva4444 chapter 9 . 2/21/2015
WhiteCloudsAndOceans chapter 28 . 11/2/2014
I'm sorry to say this but Erin is a Mary-Sue!
Guest chapter 4 . 10/28/2014
A. Ralph
Guest chapter 2 . 10/28/2014
It's fine your doing good it's hard writing it's decent.
Guest chapter 2 . 10/28/2014
Guest chapter 28 . 10/22/2014
I hate this I haye this so much it gives me so much feels and I hate her elationship withcroger abd idont want simo b to die and im not gonna read anymore
Guest chapter 4 . 6/24/2014
White people .
hateme101 chapter 28 . 6/14/2014
Awe some part of me wanted them to end up together
gothchic6 chapter 28 . 11/19/2013
This is the best Roger/Oc story I have read.
margaretwells chapter 28 . 8/30/2013
oh. my. gosh. I have no words. I am CRYING over, well, everyone. this was the best fanfiction I have ever read. You showed how each of the characters grew into savage, and you depicted the characters AMAZINGLY. ohmygodgivemeasecond.

Erin was perfect, in an imperfect way. she wasn't beautiful, or super hot like other fanfics usually make the girls. Actually, she very much reflected me, which kinda creeped me out... in a good way...

Roger. perfect. I loved how he didn't start on Erin till later in the fic. he also was extremely violent and sadistic: which is good. very good. Also, you described his physical appearance very accurate.

ok I'm really crying right now over Roger.

I loved how the Simon/Erin started off slowly and awkwardly. Just like Simon. ;)
The thoughts and words you give him are so, so SIMON. amazing.

Jack is terrifyingly. But he's also extrmemly hot.
I love how you make him just yell his mind out, while Roger keeps e dry thing in his mind. ugh I love Jack. toooo much...

Pig- excuse me, DANNY, ahem, terrified me when he died. nooooo why did he have o die? 。・・(ノД)・・。

Ralph was just plain adorable, being the typical blond jock. although, I do t think he would have NEVER gotten annoyed by Erin. But I guess all in all you made him perfect to his character in the book. thank you am much for not killing him...!

And the minor characters like Percival and Samneric and Maurice were also very realistic and had distinct characters. I felt so sorry for them because you could tell that deep, deep down, they hated everything g hey were doing for Jack.

so anyways...
I hope you actually read this all, and thank you so much for all your work at this extremely depressing but amazing fic. I love it.

rogerrrrrrr...(*locks self in bedroom for week with iPod while slowly bowing insane after reading a perfect fanfic)
Random Reviewer chapter 4 . 5/21/2013
Soooo... I realize this is probably a dead story, since it hasn't been updated for a year, but I just wanted to give you a little writing advice. The biggest thing when writing a story is to keep in character-especially if you're writing in 1st person POV. You say Emma is shy and scared to death of teenagers, but she doesn't really seem to express this enough. She was frightened of Ralph at first (in chapter numero uno) but as soon as he put down his knife, she went ahead and let him help her up; someone who's afraid of spiders isn't going to pet one, let alone go anywhere near one, so it stands to reason Emma would be a bit more cautious than that. Also, even though you try to keep up the notion of her being shy and quiet, you allow her to relax and befriend Piggy and Simon quickly and easily; this wouldn't be an issue if she were a naturally out-going person, and loved talking and such, but she's not supposed to be. I would also advise that you try to keep the outside references down as much as possible. Saying two people bonded over something is fine, so long as you dont spend forever on it and you continue with your own original ideas as soon as possible. Otherwise, youre doing pretty good, I'd say :)
AmethystWren chapter 28 . 5/17/2013
I've been reading this for a few days now, and I love it :D I'm kinda sad I'm at the end now, though. But then, there's Going Under (is that named after the Evanescence song? Just curious...). I'll go check it out once I've done my homework.

Anyways, I love this. Erin's a great OC; very believable. I also love how you manage to make me laugh, but it's still a serious story at the heart of it.
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