Reviews for I'm Not Who I Was
Fish Stick Friday chapter 1 . 7/29/2011
Hello! Guess who's finally getting around to reviewing this? I have to work at 10:30 in the morning tomorrow, but hopefully I can knock this and your other one-shot out before I go to bed.

Poor James! Logan was probably stealing his swag by wearing shades. :p Yep. I bet James was feeling woozy. :D

Ugh! Why do you insist on keep bringing up Ryan Mitchell? Does anyone even LIKE Logan's dad in your stories? I know I sure as heck don't! Just when I thought I was rid of him for good, he finds some way to pop back up!

I know husbands and wives usually are buried next to each other, but still, it was sweet that Logan's mom and dad were buried next to one another.

I love how Logan talked to his mother's tombstone. That was sweet and sad all rolled up into one.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but how could Logan not go to his father's funeral? I mean I know their history and everything, but still...I'd like to think that even if I had a falling out with my father, I'd still go to his funeral if for no other reason than the simple fact that he's my dad.

Logan writes a lot of letters. Like a lot. I write like none. I don't even think I have a notepad or notebook paper upon which to write a letter. Except for my signature, I don't even use cursive. Weird how that works out, huh? In school, we had to learn cursive, but nowadays, people don't really use it.

I like how Logan told his mom that she can listen to what he's about to say to his dad. She didn't need his permission, but I like how he gave it to her anyways.

I'm pretty sure I already told you this before, but one reason why I can't stand Ryan Mitchell is because I have daddy issues myself. Like my adoptive father is great and all, but I know I'm not his favorite. Not even close. I've spent the majority of my life trying to impress him and be good enough for him, but I still don't feel that I am. I feel like he likes my other brothers more than me. I mean I get it. I'm not a guy's guy. So maybe he feels somewhat disappointed by me in that sense. As for my biological father, he's the ONE person that I can honestly say that I hate. I was put into an adoption agency shortly after I was born because my dad couldn't take care of me or didn't WANT to take care of me. Either way, he made a conscious decision to NOT be a part of my life. I don't know the first thing about him. I don't know his name. I don't know if he married again or if he was even married to my birth mom in the first place. I don't know if he has any kids. I don't know where he is or if he's even alive. I have convinced myself though that if he ever tried to become a part of my life again, I wouldn't give him the time of day. I know people are supposed to be forgiving and whatnot, but what he did to me is unforgivable. Besides, if he wanted to be a part of my life now, why now? Where has he been for the past 25-26 years of my life? Do I really mean that little to him? Has he already forgotten about me? Does he ever think about me? See? This is why I'm a mama's boy.

I never will understand why there were pair of scissors on the table by Logan's hospital bed. I mean seriously, how convenient! It kind of reminds me of a show I watch with my mom (okay, okay. It's a soap) where the most statistically improbable things happen anyways. It's like, "Only on this show would something like this happen!"

I liked how Logan told his dad how Logan's cancer changed each of his friends.

As much as I don't think Ryan deserves his son's forgiveness, I thought it was so precious how Logan forgave him anyways. Logan really is a forgiving person. And the fact that Logan would forgive his father for all th pain he put him through speaks volumes about Logan's character.

You know I'm not as big of a Logan/Camille fan when they get married in this story, and I don't even jump for joy. I didn't even let out a "Yay!" See what "Big Time Girlfriends" did to me? It screwed with my head! I've never been the same from a Logan/Camille standpoint since!

Well, some people would argue that you are who you are as a person because of nurture NOT nature. Meaning it doesn't matter about genetics and heredity, all that matters is the type of environment you were brought up in. Your surroundings. The people who were around you and what they were like around you. Now I personally believe it's a little of both: nature and nurture. I really don't think it's stricly one or the other. I don't think it's as black and white as that.

When Logan said, "But you can't change the past," it made me think of The Lion King. See what your stories have done to me? Now when I hear something like that, I automatically think of The Lion King. Lol.

That was so sweet how Logan said that despite everything, he never really stopped loving his dad.

Oh my goodness! I love how Carlos was reluctant to let go of Logan after they hugged. That was so cute!

It's so adorable how Kendall calls Logan "little bro" like he does!

"I love you, little man." (spontaneously combusts) That was the most adorable thing ever!

Aww! I really loved the last line. See Logan? You're a great dad!

I loved this story! Again, I apologize for taking so long to review it! It always got pushed to the back of the line when you updated HOC or HTSAL. Well done, FFW! XOXO
abbyli chapter 1 . 7/15/2011
Oh my stinkin' gosh! That was the sweetest ending ever. I love how you gave Logan the family he so desperately craved. Beautiful job.
WyszLo chapter 1 . 7/6/2011


Honestly, Laura, I would copy and paste, but it would legitimately be the entire story. I LOVED EVERY LITTLE BIT OF IT. I mean... it was RyRy. It was Ryan Mitchell in all of his terrible, haunting, scarring, worst dad ever glory. It was Logan opening up and revealing just how deeply and terribly Ryan hurt him. It was Logan exploring every detail of his relationship with Ryan and how badly it destroyed him for so much of his life. It was everything I love to hate about Ryan. It was perfect.

Okay, I'll do some super special highlights, because honestly the entire thing is a highlight. I feel like I'm leaving a skimpy review... but I also feel like you already know my feelings about Ryan and I would just be repeating myself. Anyway, the highlights:

1."You'll be okay, buddy. We're here if you need us. -Kendall." "Thanks, bro." Cutest text convo ever? Um, yes. I loved that :) "Buddy" and "bro"- it was fabulous.

2. "Thanks for eight great years." I just... that line, Laura. It really just brought everything home about Logan's relationship with Ryan. It really was the definition of bittersweet. Logan had eight great years with Ryan... but only eight. It's so SAD. I really don't know a better word. It really hit me. Even though Logan has forgiven him, it was haunting.

3. "Hey," Kendall was the first to greet him by standing up and locking him in that familiar hug that had always been a source of comfort to Logan." Well, okay. Of course I loved this. :) Brotherly love foreverrrrr.

4. "You're worth it, Logie." he said, smiling when the childhood nickname made Logan blush. "Always believe that, little bro." FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE FAVORITE. 4.a) "Logie." 4.b) Kendall being the best most supportive big brother ever. 4.c) "little bro." So um, this was actually the best thing ever. LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED IT.

And finally, Scotty is the most adorable thing ever. SO PRECIOUS.


TinyHandz chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
AbbyMasrai chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
WAAAAAH! This was sooo bloody sad! Ugh, poor Logie. I'm glad he was able to find forgiveness for his father...that is such a hard thing. I know from personal experience how it feels to live and breathe that resentment everyday. It's toxic. I only wish that I could one day find the strength he had to forgive his dad. So admirable.

Aww! Logie's a daddy! That's so exciting! He's such a good dad, it's so obvious just by Scotty's reaction when he came home. Beautiful. :)
midnight knightress chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
Beautiful, unbelievable beautiful. There was so much emotion in it and it wouldn't have been half as good if you had wrote it any different. It truly is a piece of work. Everything about it was amazing.

And I loved the ending, though personally I probably would have ended it at "Bye, Mom and Dad..." but then again it did add to the effect that Logan is moving on in his life, finally forgiving his dad.
Sastiel chapter 1 . 7/5/2011

Oh my lanta! Brilliance. So sad though...My poor bb Logie. (

Amazing sequel hon!
Anguish of My Love chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
That was a wonderful letter. Logan shared everything he felt, he didn't hold anything back. He showed how much ill feelings he had, how much anger he felt, and I think that's what's so good about it. Often, when people write reconciling letters, they don't get down to the ill feelings hey felt. Their letters just have sorrow and acceptance and feelings of lack of self-worth and things like that.

When you included how angry and resenting Logan felt in the letter, it made it more raw. Less fake. Or something like that, I'm not sure I'm saying things right.

And the fact that you mentioned how Logan hasn't visited his mom for so long and had never done so with his dad also makes it real. I read stories of how the characters always visit the people who died and it just doesn't seam completely real. I'm not saying some people don't do that, it's just that sometimes it hurts and sometimes people try to remember people differently.

Also, Scotty warmed my heart. He's such a precious little child. You just kinda want to take himaway so nothing taints his purity.
Rainnboots chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
Oh, I like this one. I like this one a lot!

What pulled me in to this story in the first place was the title; I'm a huge BHeath fan — great, great music, a really fantastic guy — and the moment I saw the title of the fic I clicked on it. I love this song. This song helped me through a really, really difficult patch in my life. I love this song.

ANYWAYS, on to the review:

Like I said, I really liked this one. I'll be honest; haven't read much of your stuff. Always see it around the site, always think, "Hmm, I really should give her stuff a go," but then I get distracted and forget about 'em. My apologies about that, I'll try and read some more soon, seeing how much I liked this one. :)

I loved how you really embodied the quote you posted in the summary. It's 100% true; you can't be free and at peace with your life if you're holding something against someone. Big or small, it doesn't matter. You're robbing yourself of a life where you're so much happier. I was honestly elated when I read the whole letter that Logan wrote to his dad (well, not during the sad parts) and he finally forgave him for the years of pain, bitterness, and heartbreak his father's actions (and inactions) had caused him. He can live a free life now. That's so awesome.

And then when he gets back to his house, and all the guys are sitting out on the porch, waiting for Logan to return... their support and love just kills me. I love it. I love it.

Oh, and then when Scotty comes along, launching himself into his father's arms in a tizzy of absolute love and affection and adoration... too much, it's just too much! The love Logan and Scotty share is crazy. Even though they were only together for all seven lines, you can tell they're thick as thieves. I love that, too.

So, to correct myself, I'm pretty sure I love this. You wrote a perfect story to go along with this song. Awesome, awesome job. :)

Happy Monday!


P.S. You named Logan's therapist Brandon... That bit made me smile. :)
happygirl57 chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
First of all, I'm so glad that you're back. Secondly, I loved the letter that Logan wrote to his dad. The family moment Logan had with Camille and Scotty was so sweet!
CheekyBrunette chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
Oh my gosh, this was so good, I couldn't even read it.

That doesn't make sense so much... but I guess I got to worked up to even focus on.

Absolutely amazing, this fried my brain.
valentine142 chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
Oh my gosh this story was so perfect it got pretty close to causing me physical pain. It's so incredibly heartfelt and just amazing. Of course Logan would forgive his dad, even after all he's done. It's just so... Logan, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, I'll just be off looking for the little tiny broken pieces of my heart. I think it was Scotty that did it, it was a cuteness overload :)
MyHeroRaven chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
I wish my dad loved me. This broke my heart i don't even have words... This reminds me of all I'll never have. Such heartbreak. But beautifully written.

Good job
IHeartLogiebear chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
This was so touching:) And Scotty is so cute. Great job!