|Reviews for Uchiha Fukurou|
| tyog56 chapter 23 . 10/23/2012
hey! when is the next chapter coming up?
| vampireharry the 2 chapter 23 . 10/19/2012
I can't wait for more!
| Harry Uchiha Potter chapter 23 . 10/17/2012
awesome story i can't wait to read more
| Urfan chapter 23 . 10/17/2012
Oh I dearly wish you would update this story. It's been so long now but it's still one of my favorites and I cannot help but to hope to see it continued.
| FreelanceBum chapter 18 . 10/11/2012
You need more character interactions, the story just lacks the human content. Especially the last few chapters.
| FreelanceBum chapter 7 . 10/11/2012
He was just finished disinfecting a number three bone saw when the Sandaime and his AnBu burst into the room. Looking into his sensei's horrified eyes Orochimaru couldn't help but feel slightly self-conscious. "Ah! I wasn't finished with the cleaning yet…"
This made me laugh so hard.
| FreelanceBum chapter 6 . 10/11/2012
"Hmph! This too requires a woman's touch! Fugaku, for the next month
When I started reading that I thought she was about to call Fugaku a woman. XD
Fantastic story so far.
| JakeTheSheepy chapter 23 . 10/9/2012
I'm really digging this story. Harry Potter and Naruto fics are all I read so obviously combining the two is ideal. Thanks for all your hard work!
| Tutenstein chapter 23 . 10/8/2012
Harry needs to find someway to make his chakra pool huge and regenerate faster or perhaps seal a tailed beast inside of himself. He's gonna need all the firepower as he and the Uchiha have many enemies.
| Guest chapter 23 . 10/8/2012
so fukrou can already access his dimension. when is he going to learn to phase through attacks and buildings like obito?
| Mr Stereo1 chapter 12 . 10/7/2012
I read a little further than this, but this was the chapter that really put me off the fic. While I can accept that Fukurou compromised on his clan's interests for the perceived greater good, due to his relative isolation, emotional suppression, and Harry's memories, that the compromise was even possible makes Itachi look like an idiot and Homaru and Koharu look like bloodthirsty psychopaths. I didn't read past chapter fourteen, so this might have been addressed later, but here's the reasoning process that put me off.
Firstly, Itachi goes to Madara to wipe out the clan. Madara was established as manipulating Itachi, and sharingan have mind-control powers so from an outsider perspective that could work but when Madara expresses his satisfaction that Itachi came to him for help it read like Itachi was doing it of his own volition i.e. he wasn't under Madara's control. Since Itachi is established as still having some loyalty to his clan from his own point of view, even going as far as hoping it will eventually recover, taking the option that directly leads to the slaughter of not only the civilians but also the children too old to understand what coup means even if they were told about it when others are available seems false.
Secondly, Homaru and Koharu allow Danzo to do what he did and Sarutobi didn't execute them on the spot when he found out. Now that's easier to make make sense, just let them know about the secret stages of the sharingan through Danzo and genuinely still trust the information he provides. That turns the pointless murder of potentially valuable future shinobi into a horrible but understandable decision. Sarutobi could confirm this through Kakashi, who in canon does have the Mangekyo from either Obito's or possibly Rin's death. As it stands... well, they let Danzo force the Uchiha into a corner where an attempted coup was their only chance.
Danzo is pointlessly evil as always, but then that's a core part of the fanon character by this point. By this point I wouldn't be surprised if he made the Bijuu the way they are. Somehow.
The portkeys... well, honestly, they were the last straw in terms of mechanics. Harry/Fukurou was always overpowered, but tolerably so for the setting. Linking the portkeys to emotions like that just felt horribly contrived. Yes, the plot device allowed Fukurou to be disabled during the massacre while saving and killing enough of the clan for the massacre to feel like a substantial but non-fatal blow... but there were so many other options. For a start, Fukurou could have linked the portkeys to any number of other stimulus. Chakra exhaustion, blood loss, heart rate, for example and that's not even going into explaining that they were last ditch life savers of some sort, medical stasis say so that people would activate them when necessary. As it was it didn't feel like the loss of the majority of the fighting strength of the clan, leaving Fukurou to protect the dependants and pregnant kunoichi was the powerful plot development it really should have been. I don't think that it's the motivation in this case, but it reminds me a lot of the sort of alpha-male wish fulfilment 'plots' you see in a lot of 'harem' or 'multi' fics, it was contrived to put a character in a role that appeals to the writer not to advance the existing factors of the story.
Then there's returning to Konoha. If the clan was still there and within reach of Konoha's military power then it would make a lot more sense, but as it is it's utterly unnecessary and possibly suicidal. Their security is dependent on Fukurou terrifying any threats, since he's the only S-ranker left, and while I may be wrong Mikoto could be the only A-ranker. In the village there's two politically influential elders who are at a minimum A-rank, possibly borderline S-rank since they were on a Hokage's team, who supported the outright extermination of the clan who could directly or indirectly, through influencing commanders who don't have clearance to know why the Hokage can't trust them in regards to the Uchiha, send the clan's one source of protection on suicidal missions or at the least know when he isn't in the village. It's a good bet that Sarutobi wouldn't outright slaughter civilians, but Fukurou just mind-controlled an entire ANBU division... think about that for a minute. Less than a second of eye contact and trained operatives are his slaves. It's not certain that Sarutobi wouldn't see that as an unacceptable threat. Taking control of ROOT that way felt like an absurd development that really has massive consequences. What's more, with one confirmed and another possible rogue SRank uchiha who previously massacred the clan at large, Konoha is a known location. Again Fukurou is the only reliable protection the clan has, depending on how you interpret the pre and post shippuden power levels or simply go your own way, I'm not sure where Sarutobi stands compared to Madara and Itachi. If he even gets there in time.
So really it's a terrible trade-off from the point of view of Uchiha clan security. While it makes sense that the survivors follow Fukurou's lead, since he's the most powerful surviving clan member and the most senior ninja that isn't pregnant, invalid, or retired/infirm, his decision doesn't make sense from that perspective. The clan goes from an unknown location which could be extremely well warded, with friendly local allies, which Fukurou could guard full time while training the survivors and possibly being assumed dead to a location known to their enemies, surrounded by potential enemies, which can't be as heavily warded, without access to the summon allies, which Fukurou and others could be called away from at any time... and on top of that their so called security, ROOT, came at the cost of terrifying the fuck out of the Elders and the Hokage...
Those are the in-universe objections, from a purely personal perspective I had a few other objections. Firstly I was enjoying the way you explored the Uchiha clan characters, removing Shisui, Fugaku and to a point Itachi from the picture made the story less interesting for me. Secondly the Mikoto/Fukurou relationship... yeah. I'm not against exploring taboo/creepy things when the consequences are explored, but that rang like a warning bell of shipping.
So in summary, trying to keep as much of what's already written as possible, I'd recommend:
Having Madara mind-control Itachi to explain his behaviour. The very next chapter establishes it's very possible to keep most of the clan alive without a war, either he lacks information available to Fukurou and doesn't know he's lacking it or he isn't thinking clearly.
Keep the clan in the village. The portkeys don't seem vital to the long-term plot, so you could change the massacre to a one-sided battle. That allows you to keep the loss of the serving shinobi as they try to hold off Itachi, Madara, and ROOT unprepared while the non-combatants escape and place Fukurou in a bargaining position that explains his decision to stay in Konoha. Of course he would then have to arrive shortly after in real time, but that could work with minimal rewrite. Just change the abduction sequence into a betrayal in the ROOT offices and merge with with the final Danzou fight, Fukurou is held off by Danzou (or his agents) for a while, interrogates him to find out why he did what he did and then by the time he arrives at the clan compound things have already gone to hell.
The idea that Danzou has a lot of free reign to give Sarutobi plausible deniability works well, so run with that. ROOT has it's own support structure under the final command of the Hokage, but Danzou has basically turned it into his personal fiefdom either pulling the wool over the Elders eyes or with their support. Itachi doesn't have to know that there's a split, as far as he knows while under Madara's influence it's the Hokage who wants the Uchiha dead. Things don't go as Danzou planned when Fukurou survives his ambush, kills him and drives off Madara and Itachi but as far as Itachi knows Sarutobi would just finish them off officially and a war would start with the clan dead either way. Madara, and possibly ROOT agents, fight Fukurou while Itachi kills the last few coup members and runs hoping it's enough to save the civilians and children.
Now, when Sarutobi arrives to find the clusterfuck you can get pretty much the same outcome you have now. ROOT and Danzou, his trusted black ops, and his own team-mates attempted to exterminate a Konoha clan, Danzou was killed by the last significant ninja of said clan and he's just lost a big chunk of Konoha's military strength. Possibly more by the time the evening is done.
If he doesn't smack down his team mates for treason then they need to have been plausibly lied to in a way that doesn't make them incompetents. They survived fighting with the nidaime hokage and the god of shinobi for decades the latter of whom then named them his trusted advisors, even if they aren't exceptional they have to be competent. If you want to make them traitors it's possible, but honestly unless Sarutobi has a big emotional blind-spot or he's also incompetent it doesn't work. With ROOT compromised, and it's commander dead, he could plausibly give command to Fukurou if you manage the aftermath the right way. Fukurou knows from Danzou that Sarutobi wasn't involved, and in fact made honest attempts to find a peaceful solution, so he has every reason to try to convince the clan to stay with Konoha and tell them Itachi/Danzou were rogue. In turn, as a way of expressing trust and binding what's left of the Uchiha's military strength to Konoha Sarutobi has a good incentive to give Fukurou some influence. The clan is too weak to hold the military police by this point, but since Sarutobi can't trust his advisors and Fukurou could well be the only person he has good information on with connections to ROOT so giving him command could be a good move f
| Inara Seraph chapter 23 . 10/2/2012
This is an awesome story.
| Chooser chapter 23 . 9/30/2012
So... Is this still on-going?
| ShaDow EmpIre chapter 23 . 9/30/2012
thanks for making this, I love it
| Ouke no Ki chapter 23 . 9/21/2012
Despite being 'Old Man Potter' this story is essentially OC material. You could very easily make a few adjustment and thanks to Sharigan hax, everything about this story could be in universe compatible.
Heck this could be converted into a Itachi fic (taking place of Fukurou) very easily.
I enjoyed this alot and hope you update soon.