Reviews for Mommy's Little Boy
bunbun1 chapter 1 . 9/15/2011
A very well written piece of work. Flowed well and without the choppiness of more amateur writing. Very in character and believable! I like that you referenced The Scarlet Letter, since Shiori seems the type to be well educated. Five Stars!
TrisakAminawn chapter 1 . 8/19/2011
Huh. You know, I haven't seen the illegitimacy angle played with before. There's a House crossover where House assumes he's adopted, but not the legitimacy thing. It mkes sense, though, since the anime gave him pink hair and green eyes.

On the other hand, since his hair is a color that is not actually possible for humans, it makes almost as much sense to assume, after the very start, that Shiori is a crazy lady who dyed her child's hair and makes him wear contact lenses. Heh.

Some very cute scenes in here. I don't know your normal style, but I can say that some of the dialogue, especially Shiori's 'reaction' lines, especially at the ends of scenes, was extremely stilted and ran a little heavy to cliches. The apparent compulsion to bring every scene with dialogue to some kind of dramatic climax while not taking up too much time made several sections sort of rushed and sketchy-feeling.

My favorite part was Kurama taking in the idea that 'if you love someone, you would die for them,' which he later puts into action with the mirror. Followed by the 'favorite pet' scenario following her successfully teasing his sense of humor out of hiding. Those were cool.
SilverRose1313 chapter 1 . 8/1/2011
This story is so great.
shasha chapter 1 . 7/14/2011
I always imagined Kurama's relationship with his mother being something like this. And the confusion (and suspicion) surrounding his red hair and green eyes was a nice touch.
yourmother chapter 1 . 7/12/2011
one of the best fanfics I have ever read!
ForLoveUnheardOf chapter 1 . 7/9/2011
I'm stunned by the beauty of your story. Truly, you have quite the talent. The relationship between Shiori and Shuichi is not quite often explored, but you seemed to have detailed the relationship with such ease.

I assure you when I say this is easily a new favorite of mine.
ryotanimoto16 chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
aww its soo sweet :D
Amanda Howlett chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
As someone who has read a lot (if not all) Shiori/Shuichi/young Kurama stories on this site, I can say with complete certainty yours is by FAR the best.

You portrayed every character perfectly. I loved how Shiori got annoyed with Shuichi when he didn't understand her anguish at his father's death; far too many people portray her as this saintlike figure who never gets annoyed or angry or acts in anyway human. You portrayed her realistically and that's rare.

Everything from the characters, to the structure, to the simple but extremely well done plot, and even the grammar was spot-on perfect.

This has to be one of my favorite YuYu stories of all time and I hope you continue to write such amazing fanfics. :)
Impressed chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
That's a really good story.

I can totally see that being canon.

Hugs and Hershey Kisses for the good story!

Yeah, can't think of anything to critisize... and my spelling's gone down the drain.

All well.
xSkipperrx chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
never red a story like this...It was amazing! :D
YYHfan-KB chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
Good story, practically no errors at all which is what I like to see.

The writing style was ok, if you hadn't mentioned it I wouldn't have noticed. Shiori's perspective was a superb way of telling this story, course it would have been hard to tell in any other way unless you used third person which would have been tricky.

Good one shot, see ya round.

_ KB
Death101- Fox Version chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
That was awesome how you lead us through and even included his dad rather than just summarizing Shuichi as a kid or sticking to one point in his childhood. Somehow you managed to do it all! Awesome job!

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