|Reviews for Fireworks|
| Souldin chapter 1 . 10/18/2011
If this were a Fourth of July fanfic there would be two problems, the first being that the various characters would not celebrate such a holiday unless this was AU fanfic where in they live in America and the second being that it would alienate non-American readers such as myself. Probably not too much of a degree but too many readers it lacks the cultural significance whom an American reader would be able to draw from it. But I'm glad you chose the setting to be an award ceremony at the end of the Melee tournament, and though I'm not a fan of the tier list it was nice to spot the reference for who won the awards.
The plot is simple and short but it works and manages to tell a good story. Fox and Falco are in character, and the various characters immediately present their personalities, even within short spaces of time. The details are good, and the humour was charming. Even in the moments of talking I found their witty banter and mannerisms to be amusing and found myself continuing to read on. I like the strangeness of the pairing (FalcoXYoshi is an odd one but weird pairings are okay with me, a GanondorfXJigglypuff supporter), and the 'few words but trusting' bond of friendship between Fox and Samus.
It's not the most descriptive of pieces and I really felt you could have done more with it. Have Fox converse or be congratulated by some other characters, have Fox reminisce about becoming Samus's sparring partner, and maybe even include a mention of how the first Super Smash Bros award ceremony went and how it differs from the current one (heck if the tournament winnings are based on the tier list you could of had Master Hand mentioning that Fox came in second place in the first tournament).
There are a lot of ideas that could have been used but went unused in this fanfic. For what it's worth this is still an enjoyable and easily likable story. Great job, keep up the good work!
| CharmyMew chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
As usual, awesome story! Melanthe is an unusual Yoshi, but way better than any OC I've seen, if you can call her an OC. She's unique and not perfect, and I like that. It's how a character is supposed to be.
Great job! :)
| Foxpilot chapter 1 . 7/6/2011
I hope you didn't think I'd actually miss this one. As for Melanthe...YoshiXFalco? That's actually kinda scary. The image of a hot Yoshi is now searing itself in my brain. HALP!
While lighthearted and unexpected, it's still nice to see someone taking the Fourth into account. Though it's a bit odd hat the Smashers would celebrate it, sometimes suspending reality is just the best way to enjoy the show. Considering they were celebrating the end of Melee, though, the use of fireworks is closer to coincidence than temporal intent. Meh, whatever; fireworks!
Frankly, it's a good thing you didn't keep this at 500 words. Such a move would have been shameful, as you wouldn't be able to show your talent properly. In fact, I'd say this isn't long enough. You only touch on Samus and Fox's relationship. Even though it's just a platonic partnership, it should have been expanded upon. How did they meet? Why did they choose each other as sparring partners? What did the others think? As odd as it is to say this, I don't think this story is complete. It leaves a gap like a space dragon tore a hole out of a starship. (Metroid reference not intended-though still appropriate.)
Sadly, the way this was written, it would be highly difficult to go back and revisit this to build a past in a new chapter. I would like to see it, though, if you could find a way to include it.
I do appreciate the inclusion of Krystal, though. Forget that she technically didn't exist then-suspending reality, remember?
| anomynous chapter 1 . 7/5/2011
Great job, kid. Grammar AND spelling were spot on, had some nice humor (Fox showing Falco the true bird was a plus) and had a nice ending. Very nice.