|Reviews for Forever|
| Grand Witch Alliance chapter 34 . 4/16
At the start, I really absolutely loved this story. Bella seemed so apathetic and actually mature. Then you killed it by introducing her introvertedness and having Alice make her all teenage angst.
But that was fine. That seems to be how Bella is in most other Twilight stories I've read. The worst part is the middle of the story. Bella's friends just disappear from your story. Jacob becomes a huge ass and also disappears. Oh. And there also seemed to be large time lapses. It just felt like a very forced transition to get to the Russian Volturi. And that's what they are to me. You can call them what you want but the only difference between the two groups is really the location and the members. I think this part was okay, as in average, since I didn't understand the point of changing the Volturi.
As mentioned, the beginning was the best. And I despised the middle portions.
| Draco Oblivion chapter 23 . 2/23
Don't worry Jakey, it's understandable for her to want to catch up with someone she hasn't seen in a while
"I made you some sort of soup" and doesn't that just inspire confidence?
... Rosalie isn't very good at answering questions is she?
| Draco Oblivion chapter 22 . 2/23
Haha I suppose she couldn't see the fight because it involved the wolves but did see Bella falling off the cliff? Did you decide to make changes to Victoria's gift because she should've been able to sense Jake about to bite her?
| Draco Oblivion chapter 21 . 2/23
Yay, always nice to see Victoria
| Draco Oblivion chapter 19 . 2/23
Not quite as bad as Edward so that's something
| Draco Oblivion chapter 18 . 2/23
Boo talk of suicide being stupid! Kinda harsh trying to equate mental illness to simple stupidity and other times it might actually be a rational way out.
So I'm just guessing that since you seemed to have changed these vampires and Bella isn't turning you've made some change to their venom? Nice to see Jake again though, vamps vs wolves.
| Draco Oblivion chapter 17 . 2/23
Haha I loved how insignificant you made James. Just another arsehole with a trumped up sense of self, something that was quickly proven to him by Alice.
| Draco Oblivion chapter 16 . 2/23
Boo slut shaming!
How did Jacob know about her plans with Alice? Surely she would've smelt a wolf hanging around?
That's actually really adorable, going with acoven of vampires to play in the snow. Will it be wolves or vampires that ruin it though?
| Draco Oblivion chapter 9 . 2/23
Haha, guess with a precog it's easier to try and manipulate things so questions aren't asked. Poor show for Carlisle though, they could've easily pretended she was injured and wanted nothing to do with Bella. Guessing wanting to have Bella alone when she gets answers is why they waited as well?
| Draco Oblivion chapter 5 . 2/23
Edward, you creep!
| Draco Oblivion chapter 4 . 2/23
"That's so refreshing." and that's so patronising...
Hahah not sure why but Alice pulling an Edward isn't quite as creepy. Maybe because it's an act that sort of suits a manic pixie dream girl more than the brooding tragic hero
| Fredrick Bismarck chapter 11 . 10/24/2016
Well at least there wasn't 'You're prey and I'm dangerous. You should avoid me' conversation and self-hatred. The heat and decay vampire characteristic is major deviation unless Alice is lying. It does avoid the sparkles, gives a significant weakness, and gives a different reason for avoiding sunlight. But it would be horrible if they couldn't get close to each other.
| Fredrick Bismarck chapter 10 . 10/24/2016
I do find it interesting that bella is not so much the loner/outsider and so completely perceptive to believe Alice is a vampire even while stating it herself. I like the talk overall. There was an apology about the stalking and a frank unashamed conversation about vampires that we wouldn't get from Edward, so I hope this turns in a different direction now that this behind them. Its sort of a reset for me.
| Fredrick Bismarck chapter 9 . 10/24/2016
Despite having some of the same creepy themes and obsession, the Alice's reveal is more up front instead of the push and pull conversations and veiled insults from Edward. Alice still watched her while she slept, which I really think is not fitting of her character, but other aspects like her attempt to be friendly during the first close encounter seems fine. Generally, her actions seem reasonable to premise of Alice in Edward's position and confronted the same situations in regards to Bella and the same temptations. Bella's personalities has been altered to make it work better. You seem to want to keep with some element of the original plot - mixed signal first contact, strange behaviors, the attempt to connect, the attempt to break away, the obsession and theories, the confrontation and the reveal. I still hoped for a better interaction from the onset instead a slight more palatable treading of canon's themes. I'm hoping for some more lighthearted interaction that Alice is known for after they talk.
| Fredrick Bismarck chapter 6 . 10/24/2016
The emotional whiplash and forgoing logic when it comes to Alice. The feeling of violation but letting happen. Aware that she's been enthralled. Well, if it was intentional... I guess its okay. Still not exactly healthy or sane. Sort of obsessive and becoming dependent like the original. I still want to see how this plays out.