|Reviews for Harry Potter, Fifth Year Headmaster|
| Lorenzoguy14 chapter 6 . 9/23
This story is amazing. Please hurry soon
| Mystique Raven chapter 6 . 9/20
Please update, this is a really good story!
| Nocturnal Storyteller chapter 6 . 8/28
you should continue
| MattKennedy chapter 6 . 8/24
Very cool story! Hope you return and continue it sometime. :D
| silhermar chapter 6 . 8/19
I'm hoping that you sometimes continue the fic because the plot and how you write is incredible for me
(i'm spanish so my english is so so)
That's amaizing how you do this fic. Really, I enjoy it the most.
| ClaMiAl chapter 6 . 8/10
That was fascinating! I love the idea of Harry becoming headmaster and then having to figure out how to handle everything. It was also incredible interesting to see what ideas for improvement they came up with. I'm actually rather surprised how much fun it was to read this story, considering that there isn't much plot. I mean, mostly characters are sitting around brainstorming.
There were some issues, too, though. For one I would recommend getting a beta reader. Not for spelling, that is not the issue. Punctuation was iffy sometimes, especially when it comes to commas, but it wasn't too bad. But, a beta reader could also help with how to phrase things, how to give the characters individual voices and to make the interactions flow a bit more and help make chapter's actions fit what is said. For example, it happened a few times that a character said something that wasn't really all that funny but all the characters were described as laughing really hard for minutes at a time. That's just not realistic. Or, take the scene at the bank. Remus almost falling out if his chair because Harry suggests hiring werewolfs is very much exaggerated. He's surprised, sure, but to actually fall out of his chair (or almost do so)? To me it would have felt much more real and less cartoon-like if he had just whipped his had around and stared at Harry or somethings along those lines.
The next point was Harry constantly (or so it seemed) telling people his whole life story. That's completely unnecessary. When he first met with the representatives of all the houses he could have just told them that Dumbledore had left to avoid being arrested, that Fudge had tried to install a Ministry-Headmaster, that Hogwarts had been "awakened" and chose him as Headmaster. His having grown up with the Dursleys or how they treated him, or the adventures he and his friends had in previous years at Hogwarts have no bearing on the issue at hand
I also noticed a tendency towards "group talk". Meaning, several characters speaking as one, saying the same thing at the same time. That is extremely rare. It works much better (in my opinion at least) if you sum up their reactions as them voicing their dis-/agreement, or mention their reactions indirectly - for example, "Harry waited for the first shock to abate and then continued his explanation." Or something like that. It's clear that people are shocked without you having to come up with what they would actually say to express their surprise.
Another point was the characters constantly using each other's names. I realize it was probably meant to keep straight who was talking to whom but to me it came across as artificial, since it just doesn't happen that way in real life. If one character asks another character a question, for example, and that second character answers, it's perfectly clear who they are talking to. There's no need for them to say the first character's name. In situations where it isn't that clear you could try adding tags. Have the first character look/nod/glare/smile/frown/etc. at the second character and then say something - it will be very clear that the first character is talking to the second character without you actually having to say it in so many words.
One last point was the phrase "being as" getting used instead of "since" or even "as". That was rather distracting. An example would be a sentence like, "Dumbledore would no longer be Headmaster being as Harry had taken over the role. "Since" would sound (to me) much more natural.
Despite these issues, I found this fic to be very interesting and would love to read more of it. I'm really rather curious how Hogwarts would change, what problems would crop up along the way and force Harry and his friends and advisors to change their plans. Or perhaps they'd come up with other, new ideas for improvement. What they've come up with so far certainly already sounds very exciting.
| Stormwing89 chapter 6 . 8/6
I love this story! PLEASE get back to writing it!
| Golanth2008 chapter 6 . 8/1
I really like the way this is going and I'd love to see it continue. You've definitely made a winner here.
| amayranni22 chapter 6 . 8/1
more, more, more
| The Morrigan Goddess of Battle chapter 6 . 7/16
this is fucking awesome ! more more !
| Evilshallprevail chapter 4 . 7/5
Why only ten maximum? I would have had a hard time trying to choose between them D':
| LyraStarlight chapter 6 . 7/5
Please update !
| JumpingToaster chapter 6 . 6/24
Someone is having fun planning for redoing a schools infrastructure and curriculum.
| falconer54 chapter 5 . 5/21
Please continue this story! It has such a unique and intrigue storyline and I can't wait to see Dumbledore's reaction! Maybe Mrs. Weasley could be one of the counselors? I think she would be a good fit for the job, seeing as she has raised seven children. I also can't wait to see the reactions of the now defunct Board of Governors. I think it would be nice if Remus could get a teaching job again, too. Please continue this story, I can't wait to see where it goes. (I put this on ch 5 because I couldn't post another review to chapter six)
| Eagle Hawke chapter 6 . 4/28
Oh, this is bloody awesome! UPDATE IT PLEASE!