|Reviews for The Chronicles of Utopia|
| Guest chapter 28 . 8/12/2017
| Paradox Dreams chapter 1 . 4/2/2015
Sure! Well done; a bit stretched out at times, but this was a wonderful read. Thank you.
| CookieMonsta1233 chapter 9 . 12/28/2014
Lol, Beowulf is hilarious
I wonder if there might be a slight romance going on between him and the bitch...
| Jack of Spades29 chapter 1 . 12/5/2014
This story has the same tone as the Dune books. It extensively uses religious philosophy as a theme and the main character is a messianic figure. It is well written grammatically and the story flows well.
| Zauber chapter 20 . 9/7/2014
So, I'm 20 chapters into the story - two thirds of the way through - and my main response, is that I feel somewhat cheated. the story description talks about the empire of light and a transformation into something beyond human, and yet no sign of either of these has yet appeared. A more accurate description, would be:
The heartwarming tale of one man's quest for purpose after the death of his wife. But it is not until an accident strands him on an alien world that he finds his true purpose, learns that family is what you make it, and that faith is the meaning of life.
That's not the story I was expecting to read! Don't get me wrong, it's a great story, and very well written, but as the chapters go by it has become increasingly clear that the "prologue" was actually the epilogue of a completely different story, presumably posted by accident at the start of this one.
So while they are both stories I would like to read, this one was rather spoiled by the fact that I kept waiting for it to actually begin. It wasn't until now, as I am nearing the end, that I realize it's never going to. Apparently, what I thought would actually be a brief lead in to the main event, is actually the entire story.
If you like this story, you might also like: "Stargate: Faerûn" - story id 6392938. Very similar, apart from the terminator thing, and it stars stargate characters rather than OCs so it's easier to relate to, particularly for those (i.e. atheists) who have trouble identifying with Ash.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/3/2014
Is this a cross-over with Warhammer 40K?
| Lord Asmodeus chapter 6 . 7/18/2014
This is idiotic. Concluded.
| Lord Asmodeus chapter 1 . 7/18/2014
Does Light equate to 'good' in this fic? If so how narrow minded.
| coyoteconscious chapter 9 . 5/15/2014
I'm enjoying the heck out of this story, especially Beowulf. But I just have to mention, gnolls are humanoid hyenas, and hyenas are not canine. They are hyaeanids, which are at least as far removed from canines as cats or bears. They're actually more closely related to mustelids than to anything else.
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/19/2013
Argh, should not have gone to the the au..
| bogus1 chapter 7 . 11/21/2012
# knelt before their masters, their metallic heads bowed in submission.
LOL. This is bloody effing disgusting! Repulsive in the extreme!
Where did your ritualistic declarations of free will go? You hypocrite!
This is ... narcissistic. And narcissists are 6 year olds mentally. They're children, devoid of empathy.
You yourself seem to be an adult. But your characters are one step down the psychological ladder than you are, they're juveniles. And when some greatly emotional event happens, like a great victory, then they regress to children. Not even primitive juveniles but outright children.
What's next? Sulking like a toddler? Screaming tantrums like an infant? The psych ladder has 6 levels, 7 if you include a level achievable only by AI. You're already down to the third level, 3 levels down from the top. Oh man oh man.
It's impossible for me to take your protagonists seriously let alone maintain an interest in them. They're far too pathetic. I personally consider mature adults pathetic enough psychologically and when I read their exploits, I am slumming. The exploits of juveniles are so absurd that they're laughable, which makes them amusing in small doses. But the exploits of CHILDREN?! (Facepalm)!
| bogus1 chapter 6 . 11/21/2012
# "Then I become no better than Skynet or any other Terminator, enforcing my will on you."
LOL. It's such a cliche trope, especially among Americans, that enforcing your will on others is somehow magically "wrong" or evil. It bloody well isn't! Enforcing your will on others is intrinsically neutral. It is only WHAT you enforce that makes it right or wrong.
I enforce my will that a serial killer be imprisoned instead of free to kill. Right!
You enforce your will to cage a person who is rational and empathetic for no reason at all. Wrong!
Enforcing your will on another CANNOT BE evil because it's the only way to resolve a conflict between two people's wills. Either person A enforces their will on person B, or person B enforces their will on person A, or they BOTH enforce their wills on each other (negotiate & compromise, and even win-win), or the situation goes unresolved and nobody's happy! Yeah that's right, the situation where everyone's free to suffer, is the WORST possible outcome!
What makes the protagonists even more ridiculous and pathetic is that
1. Ash is incapable of explaining WHY he wants to go into a warzone because he DOESN'T KNOW why!
2. Davis is incapable of ASKING why Ash wants to go into a warzone and of evaluating whether Ash genuinely wants to go (whether going would genuinely fulfill his desires) or is being irrational about it (his desires are self-contradictory and insane nonsense)... because Davis is a fucking idiot.
In other words, none of the protagonists is behaving like a reasonable adult. Nor are they treating each other like reasonable adults at all. They are instead acting out like pathetic juveniles.
Ash is demonstrating empathy, which is a juvenile quality. He is not at all engaging Davis' reasonable desire to keep Ash safe and sane, which would be an adult quality!
Davis is recognizing that Ash has desires, which is again a juvenile quality. He is not at all arguing based on or off of or even against Ash's desires, which would be an adult quality!
Your protagonists are juveniles. Acting out emotionally. Emoting their desires. And resolving conflicts between their desires by sheer willpower, by verbal pushing and shoving, and ritualistic appeals to Free Will which basically amount to "I want things my way!"
Congrats, since your protagonists are juveniles, they aren't children, let alone little kids screaming and throwing tantrums. Of course, at their ages they're supposed to be adults. And DAVIS in particular, being an AI, ought to be two steps above an adult. Each step as far above an adult as adults are above juveniles.
| bogus1 chapter 5 . 11/20/2012
Religious nutball computer programmer is your protagonist? What the fuck.
Oh and you sick lying fuck, you don't get away with claiming you and your protagonist aren't religious nutbars when you name something or someone "Heaven's Light" and the whole setup is eventually going to become, undoubtedly, a fascistic hierarchical "heavenly empire".
While you can truthfully claim that there exists people infinitely more good than the average uncaring scum that is the run of the mill cattle (to which you belong) ... IOW, that there exists ANGELS in the world. You sure as hell CANNOT truthfully claim that any part of this world is "heaven".
And your notion of what it takes to be a good AI, loyalty to humanity, is not risible but totally despicable. And your notion that you can both and simultaneously test an AI without it lying to you (which requires it to be non-conscious) as well as it being far more intelligent than you are ... is blatantly contradictory. Not even if you erase the AI's memories after every simulation.
| Lay Down Hunter chapter 6 . 10/12/2012
| Dragoon Preston chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
I come look at this story on a whim and after reading this the first thing that came to mind was "Hell yeah, THIS is how you write a Disclaimer"