Reviews for The Siege of Shanxi
alejeron chapter 45 . 5/11
That was one hell of story.

If you write a book, I'll buy it in a heartbeat.

Simply an amazing story. Every character felt real, the struggles, the emotions. The action was tight and gripping, it was amazing.

Thanks for writing this.
Revliledpembroke chapter 24 . 4/19
So, I wanted to write this for Chapter 22 when your Russian pilot mentions it, but, well, I already wrote a review for that chapter and forgot about it. I also wrote a review for 23, so I guess I'll have to leave it here.

Hey now, the American slavers stopped buying Africans for gold in 1807, as that is when the US officially banned the importation of Africans and the slave trade. Mainly because we already had a self-sustaining slave population, but hey, that's still a good step for a 30 year old nation (or 18, depending on if you count the Declaration of Independence as the start of the country or from when the US Constitution created the current form of government in 1789).

And the Russian would probably remember that slave in fact comes from the word SLAV.
Revliledpembroke chapter 44 . 4/17
Pity the man who has his cellphone go off as they read off the lists of the dead and everyone suddenly hears his ringtone of "ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST." I doubt he'd be able to escape unscathed.
Revliledpembroke chapter 43 . 4/17
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long, long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards... every one.
Revliledpembroke chapter 39 . 4/16
Ah, here's the distinction.
Revliledpembroke chapter 38 . 4/16
Of Duty and Honor? When did we start talking about video games (Call of Duty, Medal of Honor).

On a side note, why is it that a nation that generally hates France and all things French (Britain) would continue spelling words in the French way (Honour, Colour, Favour, etc)?
Revliledpembroke chapter 32 . 4/16
Yeah, looking back at early works and then comparing them to later works is always fun. I've got some notebooks somewhere from when I was 6 or 7, and it's just awful.

The funny thing? The writings in there are still better than some fanfics I've come across. Go figure
Revliledpembroke chapter 31 . 4/16
Another excellent chapter. Of course, I've read it before, but that does not make it any less fantastic.
Revliledpembroke chapter 30 . 4/16
This chapter is beautifully done. Watching the Councilors lay the trap for the Batarian Ambassador, General Williams's speeches (one more formal, one less so), and the build up to the battle for the safety of humanity's relief fleet.

This may be one of the best chapters I have read in all of fanfic (well, at least between my usual three series I float between. I haven't quite managed to read the whole site yet).

I know I've started giving you a hard time in some of the other reviews. This is still one of my favorite fanfics on the site, and I would very much enjoy your version of how Mass Effect would go.
Revliledpembroke chapter 28 . 4/15
Uh, you mentioned Turian carriers here. There are no such things until AFTER the First Contact War. There aren't many oceans on Palaven, and Turians do not make very good swimmers, anyway, so it stands to reason that they never really had much of a wet navy. They would have known about fighters from their air campaigns, but any oceanic navy they might have had would have likely been ships bristling with guns.

They quickly realized the value of the aircraft (err.. spacecraft?) carrier, and currently the only other race to have built one.

The two other races that are likely to have built carriers are the Krogan and the Batarians. The Krogan would have likely lost any knowledge of carriers when they nuked themselves into the Stone Age. Batarians... I don't know. Maybe their caste system fucked up their navy that not a lot of innovating was done?
Revliledpembroke chapter 26 . 4/15
Yeah, sure, the Monolith might upgrade the soldiers some, but, uh... there's the slight problem that YOU CAN'T COMMAND THEM! So how are you going to make use of it?
Revliledpembroke chapter 23 . 4/15
Listen here, you little cockroach of a politician. This isn't a debate about whether to send a peace envoy to a fleet that we accidentally encountered in the middle of space. This isn't, in fact, a debate at all. You will vote to send relief so we can stop Shanxi from burning NOW instead of later.
Revliledpembroke chapter 20 . 4/15
You know, it should be fairly simple to tell a colony world from the home world. For one, cities. You said Shanxi had only the one city. Why would a home world only have one city? Also, where is the infrastructure needed to build all the ships you've already destroyed?

And "temerity to activate Mass Relays on their own"? Everyone has to until they meet the Citadel races. Otherwise no race would ever leave their home system. I don't see why that would be seen as a negative. Every race opened Relays until they got to Citadel space. Otherwise it wouldn't BE Citadel space because they wouldn't have met the Citadel races.
Revliledpembroke chapter 18 . 4/15
"But she had a dreadnought." Yeah, and carriers kill dreadnoughts. That's why we've stopped using dreadnoughts and battleships.

Three kilometer long dread? No, dreads in the Alliance Navy are "nearly a kilometer long," according to the ME wiki. A little later, it says the Everest is 888 meters long.
Revliledpembroke chapter 17 . 4/15
My big problem with reviews is that I'll get a good idea at the beginning of the chapter, but forget whatever it was by the time I reach the end of the chapter. That's what happened here. Oh well
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