Reviews for Double Life
Himawari Mii chapter 18 . 2/26/2014
TT-TT Kaith... There are some nasty reviews... It makes me kinda mad.. I really enjoy this series and I hope you will continue soon though! I'm cheering for you!
Waning chapter 15 . 2/16/2014
Sorry, I pressed the wrong button and my reply got sent before I was finished.
Lyra. I don't get this character. All other characters, besides the bad guys, are somehow from the manga. What's she doing here?
Then I figured it out. She's your self insert. You seem to be rather fond of Silver, after all. There's nothing wrong with having a self insert, but please try to hide it a little? It's pretty obvious.
Also, I do not like your treatment of Silver. How would you feel if all your friends were 2 years older then you? I understand that you wanted to introduce the Metallics later, and that you like Slilver so you introduced him earlier, but it wasn't nice to take away his friends. I think his relationship with Crystal and Gold was important. How come they aren't as good friends as the original colors are?
I don't like the introduction of Gold and Chrys. If you were going to introduce them, you should have done so eariier. I thought the evil kid hacker was Gold, as he had a Politoed, and was a teenager. But no. He was just randomly introduced, CONVENIENTLY RIGHT AFTER Blue wrote about the secret passageways. Same with Crys. I felt like they should have gotten a chapter to their introduction. They are supposed to be characters as major as Silver, after all.
I did like this fic. Now I don't. I really loved the world you made. Have you heard of the Pokemon Plus and Minus Leaks? They are a lot like the world you describe. It was cool the thought you put into the world.
One final thing. I am not a flamer. I am a critique. Your story was enjoyable to a point. I hope you continue writing it. Please heed my advice, though. Make Blue responsible for her actions, and Yellow less of a brute. Give Silver some friends. Have Green stand up for himself. STOP THE DAMNED FANSERVICE.
But yeah. Good luck on story writing.
-1 reader.
Waning chapter 15 . 2/16/2014
Y'know, I was really enjoying this fanfic.
I was honestly, truly enjoying it.
But all this sickening fan service just got the better of me. There is far to much fan service and shipping, and too little character development. I mean REALLY, can't we go 4 chapters without a shot of SOMEBODY'S panties? It's just over the top! Not to mention the fact that Blue is, I'm going to be honest here, a total bitch, and gets away with it? That is seriously not cool, to say that stuff in front of 7th graders. It's just inappropriate.
I was going to read this until the end, and post all my complaints there, but I couldn't get there. So they are all here.
Yellow acts totally out of character here. She is not a terminator. Make your own character if you want to have a seemingly nice girl be a brute. Don't defile Yellow's innocence.
Another complaint with Yellow is the way she treats Misty. Look at volume 14 of he manga, and you will see that their "competition" is much more passive then as you write it. Also, let's not forget that Misty GAVE Yellow Omny.
Guest chapter 14 . 2/16/2014
Why is yellow so mean? I really think that's out of character for her.
Stashka chapter 18 . 2/4/2014
Sorry i haven't reviewed but i just started reading today. I like it. That means GET YOUR ASS TO THE COMPUTER AND WRITE SOME MOARRRRRR! Btw i love terminator yellow, and i'd totally be like that if i was a manga character. Also i noticed you write burnet instead of brunette, mistake? Or is it just a different way to write it? Dunno...
Anyway! Write moar, i love this, and seeya around!
Stashka
All also chapter 1 . 2/1/2014
A great story!
Guest chapter 1 . 1/29/2014
Update please
DoubleD333 chapter 18 . 1/6/2014
I love this series. When is the update?
Afan chapter 18 . 1/5/2014
Fantastic story! When is the update?
Fireminer chapter 18 . 12/31/2013
This story is so cool! Although this is a filler chapter, still very enjoyable to read. Hope you update this soon!
Himawari Mii chapter 18 . 12/21/2013
YAAAYY! Please UPDATE soon! I relly enjoy reading about Blue's matchmaking schemes, and Yellow's background story is heartbreaking! I need a break from the heartbreak guys! (Aww.. I wish I was more like blue...)
Oh, I got a bit off track there.. But PLEASE UPDATE SOON!
Himawari Mii chapter 17 . 12/21/2013
PLOT TWIST PLOT TWIST PLOT TWIST! OMG! (Buy I think we all expected something like this, really...)
AnosolaBomb chapter 18 . 12/19/2013
Sorry About the random name. Basically a review for ur whole ff not just this chapter: You somehow are able to blend constructive words and plotlines with the characters emotions. I find it amazing how you are able to keep me in suspense every time i read a chapter. The pairings also have a nice gradual growth wich is hard to find all over the ff archive. I'm guessing in the next few chapters your going to be talking about silver's past. It's great to have an author like you.
P.S I wanna see more of Yellow going terminator mode and not just if it has to do with Red
Himawari Mii chapter 13 . 12/17/2013
Shit, Mistynbetter run for her life... Lol
Himawari Mii chapter 8 . 12/10/2013
I LOVED Yellow's backstory! Moving, indeed.. Reminds me a bit of myself.. But, well, that's life! Aww, I wish Inside was real too! Oh, I think I've already said that.. 3
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