Reviews for Pub Series: Story 3 Killer Instinct
Aria Breuer chapter 5 . 4/3/2013
Another well-written story.

I did notice some errors in the 'Attack' chapter, including where 'Adrenalin' is missing an 'e' at the end. You may want to re-read the chapters of this story, just in case, but there weren't too many grammatical errors.

It is interesting to hear about Merry. Although I didn't see much on the Brandybucks in this story, I did notice the focus was on Merry more than the others. Still, it was a decent story to read. You had me hooked from the first chapter up until the last.

-Aria Breuer

P.S. I'm putting this story in my community, since like the first Pub Series story, this is fairly balanced between Frodo and Merry. I hope this is all right?
Whimsicality1 chapter 5 . 6/8/2003
Great job! This is really a good story... now I've got to go check out your other ones... ;-) I like the way you potrayed the characters realisticly. Very cool. I love you descriptions, too! You can really picture what you are saying. Good job!
MBradford chapter 5 . 4/14/2003
Love the Pub Series! You do really well with the characters. I could just see the look in Merry's eyes! And in Ted's, for that matter! Looking forward to more Hobbit stories from you.
stumbleine chapter 5 . 2/6/2003
Liked this one too. So you think Merry has a short and dangerous temper? Interesting, interesting. Could well be. It's always lovely to read stories with some charactar analysis, so please continue your wonderful stories about our favourite hobbits and their relationships with each other and, well, the whole Shire.

"Next stop, Meriadock!"

That was just so "pippinesque" (as you put it), I couldn't help but smile stupidly for a long time.
Robin Gurl's INSANE chapter 5 . 10/22/2002
OMG! I love it. Please update soon.

Robin Girl

I'd write more but see...um...; I'm not suppose to be on becos of grades so um yeh...toodles..
Mainframe chapter 5 . 5/12/2002
Oh this is really something special!

I love reading fic’s about Merry recently; for I have discovered that they tend NOT to be about him so much as they are about his relationship with his cousin’s…mostly Pip! Not many have actually explored the Brandybuck’s nature, you have. Boy have you explored it! And come up with one hell of a read!

Living in a place like Brandy Hall I kinda liken to living in a jungle of Hobbits, , it’s survival, no matter how important ones father is, children will be children…and they can be ruthless little buggers at that! So to survive in that kind of mayhem you would have to learn pretty quick how to defend yourself and become wilily or become a victim.

“He could stand a lot of taunting, he had over 25 cousins living in Brandyhall at any given time and they all were grand masters at derision, hazing, and ridicule”.

- Rachel

I think this portrayal of him is wonderful, and the fact that he managed to ignore all Ted’s taunts all evening was perfect. But the one that pushed him over the edge was the best, for it was the most telling

“Are you going to lick his feet when you get home or is there some other treat for you to lick?” – Rachel

Whoa! That would do it! Red rag to a bull! And it was very nice to read exactly what was happening with Merry bodily after that comment, talk about shifting into autopilot! No wonder only an idiot would insult him, everyone else knew better…could this be the infamous Brandybuck temper? Or is this just the way Merry is? What an exciting chapter this was to read, I really hope that at some point, if you have the time, you will write something else that involves Merry’s temper…only maybe follow trough to an actual fight, I do love to read a good fight!

Frodo shows his quality in this one as well, I really appreciate the way that no character is neglected in your work. Frodo not afraid to bodily get stuck in! I hate reading work where Frodo is ALWAYS portrayed as the victim, coz it’s not!

“Pippin was bewildered as to why Merry had run him over instead of rejoicing that he had “won the fight”.

-Rachel

Nice touch, young Pip not understanding what had really taken place, or why Merry was so annoyed. Great characterization again! And the whole story was rounded up nicely!

But you know I really would like to see some more incidences like this, in my experience if you are unfortunate enough to have a short fuse, if you bottle it up for too long the end results are both explosive and very colourful, would you consider this request? I think that you would be able to weave a very interesting and intricate story around Merry’s temper, with Pip, Frodo and Sam in it as well. It’s just a thought. If you do I have a few idea’s batting around if you wish to hear them.

Jen

x
Nilramiel chapter 5 . 4/16/2002
Awww, Rach. Despite the "violence" I found this to be a very sweet story. Especially the last chapter, with innocent Pippin and thoughtful Fro.

I'll admit that although have known Tolkien for 20 years, it was not until the last few months that I learned about Merry and Pippin being "raised to be" Master and Thain. I guess when I read the appendices I assumed they were elected or something. It certainly puts a different angle on Merry and Pip's childhood and young adulthood.

I think you capture all of the hobbits amazingly well!
MarigoldG chapter 5 . 4/13/2002
I really like this story...I'm hoping for a couple of more chapters - next stop Meriadoc!

I didn't mind this style in the least - I found it appropriate to the material. I also

found the characterizations to be very good - in the books and film Merry has a

brooding sort of danger about him, in my opinion, and I think you must have

seen that as well... Another good story, thanks! : )
MarigoldG chapter 3 . 4/13/2002
Wow! I like this style you're using to write this story. It's different for you, it's very

compelling nonetheless. I agree totally about the brain plotting out what needs

to be done in what order description, cause that's how mine works in times of crisis...

never really thought about it till I read it here... : )
MarigoldG chapter 2 . 4/13/2002
Oh, Ted is in trouble here! I agree with you about Merry and his facade - to me he

had always been very intelligent, and aware of what is going on, even when he

seems outwardly oblivious...as you say controlled and calculating. I think he would

be too much that way without having Pippin's company to loosen him up...and the

reverse is also true - this aspect of Merry's personality grounding Pip somewhat...
eekfrenzy chapter 4 . 4/12/2002
I didn't think I'd like the style, but it works surprisingly well. Almost seems like the emotion is more real, for being a bit more removed from the reader (aka, I hate drowning in emotion that should be evident to the reader).

I also like the way you present the hobbits as young MEN (even Pippin!), instead of wise-ass kids. Merry has always been my favorite hobbit, and you know he had to have some type of temper to get him thru the quest.
Egon-Starcollector chapter 4 . 4/12/2002
This is interesting...a very unusual tale, but very well done.

I was able to follow your quotations, but that may only be because I'm an English major and have read (or had to read) quite a number of experimental pieces. I thought it was a unique approach.

Now if I can just stop quivering over that picture of Frodo's eyelashes giving an unintentional butterfly kiss...
Lia Galanodel chapter 4 . 4/12/2002
I like it so far... yes the quotations confused me at first, but it seemed to work better in the third chapter and in the fourth. The biggest thing I am having a problem with is the shortness of the chapters! I enjoy reading long chapters... ) I have to admit, though, that I liked the style of Class Distinction better than this one... not to say that I am not enjoying this, because I am! I just liked the other better. Maybe something will happen later in this... D Keep going!
Samhain Feis chapter 3 . 4/12/2002
This is really good, please write more soon. I have but one problem with it. You have some dialoge but you don't have the.. you know dialoge marker things so it is hard to tell where it is or if it really is dialoge. I spelled dialoge wrong didn't I? Oh well
FictionHobbit chapter 1 . 4/12/2002
KILL KILL KILL! YAY
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