|Reviews for A Child's Innocence|
| merry chapter 16 . 1/22
I've been reading your whole black crayons fic and it was amazingly adorable and fun. This chapter specifically, thanks for omitting the 'optimus getting stuck in wire parts all by himself' cos that is painfully lame. I'll go read the next chapterr now, thanks for writing this fic!
| JC chapter 23 . 12/5/2014
I hate you... nice work. ;)
| Marcus S. Lazarus chapter 23 . 1/4/2014
The other stories in this series were interesting, but this one is an exceptional bit of work, to say the least; nice job.
Not only do you correct the original movie’s anomaly of Mikeala’s absence- real-world issues aside, they could have just said that she was away somewhere rather than making all kinds of frustrating and vague comments that she and Sam broke up for reasons that were very inadequately explained- but you put some obvious thought into how she and Sam would work compared to him and Carley (I definitely prefer Mikaela to Carley; at least Mikaela contributed something in association with the Autobots), as well as actually using Annabelle when Lennox’s whole family has never been mentioned since the first movie.
The moment when Ironhide’s fate was changed was simple but effective- particularly since you’d established hints of how he’d be warned earlier rather than just introducing it all at once-, giving him the chance to show his strength that he lacked in the film itself when Sentinel took him by surprise, leading very effectively into her highly moving role in her and Sam’s ‘farewell’ to the Autobots before the Decepticons’ attempted assault.
Annabelle’s role in the later attack was also handled well without making her appearance too forced, her decision reflecting the natural impulsive behaviour of a courageous child with some heroic direct role-models and no real idea what she’ll be encountering when she gets there, but nevertheless having a crucial impact on events as Megatron realises just how public perception of him has shifted (For the record, I generally thought Megatron’s damaged state and Starscream’s depicted vulnerability was a reflection on the Decepticons’ current lack of resources rather than anything else- they were forced to remain in hiding on Earth now that they had nowhere else to go and had lost the Allspark and other means of recharging- but I recognise your reasons for your chosen route nevertheless).
On that topic, nice touch with her role in the final clash; it’s always eminently satisfying when the biggest metaphorical gun in a series gets taken down by someone they literally never even bothered being worried about…
All in all, a few technical details I’m not so sure about, but I definitely prefer your take on the characters to some of the twists we saw in the movie; keep up the good work!
| Creator of Hybrids chapter 12 . 10/28/2013
All mothers are rather scary when someone messes with their baby. That's why they make such good heroines sometimes. And Megatron should fear such a woman
| wildphoenix6 chapter 23 . 3/9/2013
Beautiful story. I couldn't stop until the end! This was better than the movie!
| sakai213 chapter 23 . 12/10/2012
It is quite obvious that you enjoy writing, and your love for your characters is also obvious. There is great depth to your writing and this story in particular. I want to thank you for sharing your creativity with us, your readers. And I really don't see any grammatical errors (I was checking ;D
I hope that you write some more stories soon with Ironhide and Chromia !
| KadoyaOkami chapter 11 . 8/5/2012
Okay, let's set the record straight. You made this even more powerful than the real thing because of one special detail: Annabelle. Seeing Sam feeling guilty about betraying the Autobots was already bad, but having poor Annabelle see that REALLY pushed it home! You ARE a damn genius/artist!
| LucasVN chapter 23 . 6/25/2012
Overall, your Black Crayons saga is one of the most surprising pieces of TF fan literature I have read. The idea of Annabelle and Ironhide forming a close bond is not new, as can be seen in Fire-Redhead's Tinman, but you explored it in away that conformed to canon beautifully. Also, you portrayed Annabelle's point of view on the matter perfectly, complete with a child's logic: 'he turned into a truck to hide from those who weren't supposed to see him.' Brilliantly done. Also love your portrayals of Sarah Lennox and Agent Simmons.
Now, regarding 'A Child's Innocence.' I have seen one attempt to explain why Mikaela left, namely v2point0's 'And the Sun Will Set For You.' You, on the other hand, took it farther and rewrote the movie with her. And truthfully, it is exactly how I envision it would have been with. The kidnapping of Annabelle was also handled well, and I like how Barricade interacts with her. Also, the fact that her kidnapping ultimately save Ironhide...
You know how to make complex plots. Enough said on that one.
The Battle of Chicago was my favorite part in the movie, and the same applies here. You rewrote it just enough to accommodate your changes while not straying too far from the canon line. Mikaela hotwired vehicles in the first two movies, and it only makes sense she'd do it again. And, I like how you led the ending open, with some of the 'Cons surviving. Truth be told, the novelization of the movie ended in a similar way, with Megatron accepting defeat, and voluntarily departing into space.
And, last but not least, Annabelle's role in the battle. The sight of humans being reduced to skeletons onscreen was unnerving, to say the least, but seeing it from Annabelle's point of view, as 'bad Halloween decorations,' is even worse. The title of the story really resonates here, with her not being totally aware of what is going on around her. And, I actually like how you had her meet Megatron. And, the final line just sums it up perfectly.
As a whole, a very good series, and one I enjoyed reading. Thank you. :)
| LunaeShark chapter 23 . 6/23/2012
I was terrified that Annabelle hadn't made it, but she survived! Yay! :)
I love how you ended this. Great job, and I look forward to your next venture. :)
| katdemon1895 chapter 23 . 6/4/2012
this story was beautiful, magnificent, and a thousand times better than the movie, i loved every word of it, annabelle was absolutely adorable and i liked your portrayl of mikaela and in general this was fantastic
| DJ Bunny chapter 7 . 6/3/2012
*Crying in corner curled up, rocking back and forth* IRRROOOONNNNHHHIIIIIDDDEEEE! Noooooo! T.T
| DJ Bunny chapter 3 . 6/3/2012
I enjoy little girls being captured... I don't know why. X3
Laserbeak and Annabelle was sorta cute at first... o3o
| DJ Bunny chapter 2 . 6/2/2012
Nuuuu, her daddy ain't home! DON'T KILL HER LIKE IN DOTM!
Dark of the Moon is currently my favorite movie...
| Silent Sage chapter 23 . 5/5/2012
OMGGGG, this was THE BEST THING TO START MY SUMMER OFF WITH! This was an absolutely gorgeous last chapter and the ending just made me bawl. I promise you - high-pitched sounds previously unknown to man erupted from my vocal chords. All I really wanted, when I first read the initial chapter, was a happy ending and Ironhide and Annabelle and the rest of the Autobots to be together and happy. I'm so relieved this ending was a sweet one. Thank you SO much for writing this beautiful fic!
| sadnessgirl123 chapter 23 . 4/15/2012