Reviews for The Black Getaway
NoAccount chapter 19 . 9/30/2013
At the risk of feeding the troll, I have to respond to the terribly rude and classless review that precedes this one. I will never understand how the anonymity the internet provides encourages such rude and tasteless behavior as the last reviewer displayed. "Guest": this is neither the time nor the place to air your personal political views. Any useful and cogent feedback that you have is entirely and immediately negated by the way you've chosen to present yourself. The author's eloquent writing is vastly superior to your crude and judgemental review. To pull from your playbook of quoting things you find offensive: "It so urgh". Are you honestly going to criticize her writing with that sort of ridiculous language? And for goodness sake, no one cares that you don't personally find dimples attractive! If you had stopped to think before you submitted this ridiculous review, had bothered to put a little thought into your criticism, you might have communicated a useful critique. As it is, all you did was come off as petulant and immature.

And to the author: I'm so glad to see you're still writing. Your stories are entertaining and engrossing. Please, keep writing what you want-just about all of us greatly enjoy it. Your characters are rich and vivid, your descriptive language paints clear pictures, and you're very creative. Don't listen to the trolls!
Guest chapter 3 . 9/30/2013
I noticed in this story you write things that are needless, too proper, and dramatic. For example “Jacob supported his back against the headboard of the bed” not just, he sat against the headboard. “Jacob stared out behind the lenses of his sunglasses.” not needed at all. “He picked up the remote device” never have I ever used or heard anyone say remote “device”; was device really necessary? “Leah patted the moisture from her body with a thick, thirsty towel, and then went through her morning ritual of applying moisturizer to her face and perfumed cream to her body.” I had to roll my eyes at this. Why not just, she dried off from her shower and applied her favorite perfumed body cream? “Jacob's expression changed, vertical lines appearing between his eyes when he gave her a level frown” not just, he frowned smh. "Leah focused her gaze on the road.” PLEASE stop using the word gaze. It's been overused and it is only the third chapter! They always gaze, always! I have low tolerance for the overuse of that word, any word, but especially that one. You can say focsed her eyes or stared back at the road smh. And the constant use of their full names and the piece by piece detail of the furniture, surroundings, and house décor or what they are wearing smh we don’t need to know all that and would rather just read the story.
You have never written such over the top, exaggerated description or given needless information and for the love of god please NEVER do it again. It so urgh and screams amateur writer and fanfiction and you are so above that, way above. I’m in a very pissy mood so things that get on my nerves and are annoying are just pissing me off at the moment lol. That is why I am reading you so I can be put in a good mood. I noticed something else you always use in addition to water sex and butterflies, dimples. I personally think dimples are ugly or get annoying after a while especially ones on the chin. But I still love this and you and adore Terry he is adorable.
“I had to learn in order to work in the hospital” If they can’t speak English they shouldn’t be here that’s the main part of the reason the country is so fucked up. People come here, many illegally, and don’t respect our country forcing their ways on us and we allow it smh. “"Do you like…men?" he asked hesitantly.” freaking hilarious! “"I believe in law abiding citizens right to own weapons but should criminals have the same right?" uh criminals aren’t allowed to carry a gun but they are criminals no matter the law they will do what they want and the law will only hurt law abiding citizens rndring "gun control" futile and dangerous smh. Please don’t tell me you’re a gun grabber! “Once consenting adults close the door to the bedroom they can do whatever they want."” Gross and nasty! I bet you wouldn’t have wrote that about a father and son though lol. And no real man will find that a good trait in a woman or her go up a notch in his opinion. Either way they all as well as their supporters, will have to answer to God for their unnatural lifestyles and support of it. I will never understand why people think being open minded is a good thing. Anything can fall in or far more easily you brainwashed when it is, than that of those with stricter standards and morals. I find it foolish and reckless. You know I think I need to just watch something because this isn’t working lol.
Guest chapter 2 . 9/27/2013
I don’t remember the beginning being so boring and the over description/properness of everything they say and do and scenery. But you did say it would be slow in the beginning. I still love it. I was stopped in a market once and he was taaaalll with nice eyes, not cute but still I was flattered lol. The dog had me teary eyed. You have to see the video of the firefighter saving the kitten then read this you will cry lol. “delicate pink polish” nail polish can be delicate? “I'm going to put Terry under and I'm going to need you to hold him steady." Jacob gave her a sidelong glance. "When did he become Terry?" their banter was so cute and flowed well and natural.
Guest chapter 1 . 9/26/2013
I'm back. I am so excited to reread this story. It is by far my favorite of yours and on the site all together!
Inosolan chapter 19 . 7/16/2012
I don't know if I ever reviewed this story, but if I didn't, I should have. I love the idea of Leah as a doctor and Jake an agent. The world is different, yet still seems like such a fun world. I loved Seth and his horses. I hope you continue to write stuff, you're great!
Black's Wolfgirl22 chapter 2 . 6/29/2012
Yeah, you could do a lot worst than Jacob Black. I like where this story is headed.
Stampiej chapter 19 . 11/16/2011
fantastic story. Although you were a bit hasty in writing chapter 19. There could have been a lot of excellent chapters between.
ShadowGoddess1 chapter 19 . 8/23/2011
The ending did seem rushed. Honestly, I hate when I invest a lot of time reading a story and get disappointed by the ending.

There were so many things you didn't discuss or show. I don't get why you mentioned Seth or Peyton if you weren't going to wrap that up.

It would have been nice to see Leah introducing Jake to her family and vice versa.

It was also a let down that Leah found out about Jake on the news of all things, which I think is dangerous for anyone who's been undercover. That's like an advertisement for old enemies to know his real identity and find him. It would have been more interesting had Leah found out the truth in some intense type of moment and maybe confront him on him originally using her for his cover.

It would have been nice to see some of the action. Mainly because I had a hard time believing an agent would just sit around the whole time like Jacob did. It would have been more believable if he truly was a bodyguard on vacation rather than an agent.

And I still don't get Leah's reasoning for not telling Jake she was pregnant. She knew he loved her and he told her before. Even if he didn't love her, he still had a right to know she was pregnant.

Anyways, I thought there was a lot of potential things that could have happened to make this story even better. Like I would have loved seeing when Seth discovered Jake was an agent. His explanation how he knew wasn't satisfying to me.

I think you're a good writer and give good descriptions at times, but missing details or forgotten details can unravel a good story fast.
Guest chapter 19 . 8/22/2011
This was so good
ShadowGoddess1 chapter 9 . 8/21/2011
Earlier Jake told Leah he was from Silver Springs, Maryland to explain why he didn't have a southern accent. In this chapter he told Leah he was from North Carolina, born and raised. Is he not keeping up with his lies or was that just an error?

Marriages of Conveniences can be overdone, but I'm curious to see how this works.
HarihaatLaeno chapter 19 . 7/31/2011
Plz do a follow up chapter :))) I wanna know how they turned out..
o0FLAM3S0o chapter 19 . 7/29/2011
Love it
o0FLAM3S0o chapter 18 . 7/29/2011
Love it
o0FLAM3S0o chapter 17 . 7/29/2011
Great chapter
o0FLAM3S0o chapter 16 . 7/29/2011
Love it
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