|Reviews for Of Finding Innocence|
| DPIH chapter 4 . 7/20/2011
Loving this so far, can't wait to read more
| NCISchick chapter 4 . 7/20/2011
dude, your on chapter four and have almost 300 reviews...damn thats amazing! congrats girl is all i can say!
and this chapter...SO CUTE!totally loved it!
Love NCISchick xooxox
| ForTheLoveOfCastle chapter 4 . 7/20/2011
Loved this chapter! I love how they're so open with each other and still bicker ;) Alexis is so cute and I love that you are comparing the similarities in their interests and hobbies so they can get to know each other :) More please!
| VivoRisataAmore chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I'm really interested in this now! At first I was a little tentative with the idea because of so many others but this one is fantastic! :)
| EI.HA chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
this is such a sweet story.
I love it.
| papercutsintime chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I have two words for you: love this.
Alexis may be smitten with Kate, but I am just smitten with this story! Ah, I love it! It's so nice to see a completely different side of Kate, and to see her as a part of the CSU (I take it that's her job before full-fledged detective?). Please keep the chapters coming!
| HippyDragonGirl chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I love this story. Alexis is freakin' adorable, but we all know there's no way she wouldn't be. I love how this time when Kate and Rick meet he is so real with her immediately.
Looking forward to the journey!
| kodakclick chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
This is too adorable. Oh man. I can't wait to see what's up next!
| NerdyGerl chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
Absolutely loving this story. I am such a fan of well-written AU stories, and this is just the cream of the crop. I can't wait till the next chapter. Keep up the fantastic work. Please don't make me wait a week to see Castle and Alexis like our Beckett has to (maybe she won't have to wait a week).
| Ari Twice chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
Interesting story. It took me a while to nail down exactly why I found it kind of boring, and eventually decided that it was because the story had little physical presence. It reads mostly like a script, with the barest smattering of elaboration thrown in between conversations. The places don't feel real because they're not developed - at all. Everything is written with purpose and very little flavor. Places should have sounds, tastes, textures. Places have stories to them. Much of the draw of the show, I found, was that it takes place in New York. The way this story is written, it could be taking place anywhere. It doesn't feel like New York - none of the settings feel like anywhere. Rick's house could be anyone's house, the description is so bland and afterthought.
The conversations seem a bit stilted as well, and since about 90% of the story is simply conversation, it drags. As a writer, you're revealing barely any of the thoughts or emotions behind the words. Sometimes it helps to focus on one character as the 'voice' of the story, and offer insight to the reasoning or personal meaning behind the things that are being said. This gives speech a unique context. What would be simply a dinner between Kate, Rick, and Alexis that is written from a bland, remote third person instead becomes a dinner with Rick and Alexis that we see from the point of view Kate. As a writer you can then make the dinner more personal - add thoughts and emotions. You write that Kate smiles, why is she smiling? Is she recalling something? Perhaps the enthusiasm of a child like Alexis reminds her of a time when she was that young and carefree, and the smile is nostalgic. Perhaps she finds Alexis so endearing because, in the context of the dinner, she is feeling surprisingly maternal- Kate, Rick, and Alexis make a complete family unit as Mom, Dad, and Daughter, something Kate might have either fond memories of or maybe something she hopes for in the future. Who knows? The reader certainly doesn't. And because we don't have any connection to any of the character - no insight to make us feel as if we know them, or can understand what they're feeling - we don't care.
Also, when people stand around talking (or sitting at a dinner table for that matter), they're very rarely doing just that. They're shuffling from foot to foot, tucking strands of hair behind their ears, watching things passing by. They're blinking rapidly in surprise, they're blushing and looking down to try and hide it. They're crossing their arms, rubbing the back of their neck, they're gesturing with their hands. When they laugh their eyes light up or their nose crinkles. When they're angry their lips press together. The way you have these conversations structured, the two participants could be suspended in a white room for all we know. Any descriptions are simple "Kate smiled. Madison laughed. Rick shrugged." Also - when they sit down to dinner, why can't you even mention what kind of pizza it is? What it smells like coming out of the oven? I'm not sure if you've ever had homemade pizza, but the smell of it fills a house. It'd be the first thing Kate noticed when she entered. Kate finds it delicious, but as a reader I find that hard to believe because you don't say why. You just let us know that "Kate takes a small bite, and it was good." Why was it good? Was the sauce spicy? Was there any kind of topping on it? Pizza fresh out of the oven is piping hot - did it burn her tongue? Did she blow on it to cool it off first? These things may seem like a small detail, but things like that are why the story doesn't feel real.
What I'm trying to get at is the story reads like a quick description of a place or event that's there to move the story along, and then a long conversation, followed by another short description. There just doesn't seem to be a whole lot of substance to the whole thing. Nothing is elaborated - nothing is fleshed out. Everything is cardboard and thin. I read it and I don't -care-. I read it and it's bland and empty. And if this is a romance, where's the romance? Is Rick drawn to the way Kate's hair catches in the light? The delicate curve of her smile? Does Kate enjoy Rick's voice, or the confidence in his speech? The way he carries himself, or the way he looks right at you when speaking? What draws them to one another in the first place?
Love and flirting and romance are very visceral things. It absolutely cannot work if you can't add physical presence to a story.
| halaci chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I was a bit surprised that Kate accepted the bond practically without hesitation - as if she didn't get that it would tie almost all of her free time to Alexis (I discount Rick now as I think you didn't want to plant second intentions behind her decision). My other question: do I sense right that Rick and Meredith has not yet been divorced or is it something what Rick didn't tell her yet (probably to avoid second guesses on her side)?
I'm waiting the next chapters, I think this won't be easy to write. Now they are almost normal, they are fundamentally open - the core of the canon Caskett stories is that they have to lure out each other from their distinctive shells. This is a refreshing new aspect.
| chezchuckles chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I thought that was really great. I loved the honesty of that conversation between them after dinner. And the idea of her being there for the kid, not the man, at first. Though, of course, I certainly hope it quickly becomes about the man too!
| MysteryWriter815 chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
This is all kinds of win, seriously. I was so happy to find another prompt update!
The Beckett/Esposito relationship is great. Little Alexis is awesomely adorable. You write young Caskett very well...you can really link their characteristics with how they actually are now.
| carytown chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
I was reading What Pales in Comparison, and I've had that added to my story alert for what seems like forever, and in the last chapter, you told me about this story. You said you'd only gotten three chapters, and you can bet that as soon as I was done with that one, I immediately ran over here. And let me tell you how excited I was when I got to chapter three and saw that there was a fourth posted. I'm addicted. Already. I need more of this story ASAP, because it's like crack. Kate and Rick are adorable, and little Alexis makes my heart melt. I can't wait to see how their relationship blossoms, and how many more awkwardly long hand-holds they get. Keep it up!
| BCWh chapter 4 . 7/19/2011
Gah! I loved this!
I love how Alexis is so attached to Kate and how Rick is totally okay with that :)
I loved the awkward conversation between them :)
Are we going to be seeing any dating going on between them?
Can't wait for more!