Reviews for Childhood Friends
Double-Tarts chapter 1 . 12/23/2013
Wat a waste you didn't even finish this
Loyal DC Fan chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
um... you know that apotoxin doesn't really have a book about it and even if it exist it'll be Haibara who'll be reading it
shinshinjane chapter 1 . 8/5/2012
when's the next chapter?
i like the story already.
reader238 chapter 1 . 9/24/2011
i like the ran being shrunk idea though i think you need to make the chapters a tad longer
drago123 chapter 1 . 9/11/2011
pls continue i would love to see how this story goes about!
PrincessXiation chapter 1 . 7/28/2011
Ok, i must say that the base of this story is very good and I see that you have several good Ideas to create a good plot.

BUT I believe that the punctuation is a little...in-accurate.

Example

What you wrote:

"They killed her sister just to make Ai work harder," shouted Shinichi!

Better:

"They killed her sister just to make Ai work harder!" shouted Shinichi.

Also, there are too little details in order to count this as an actual story.

If you want I can assist you by beta-reading this, and correcting the mistakes I pointed out. :)

Would you accept my offer?

Cheers,

xx Liz xx
Emerald717 chapter 1 . 7/20/2011
Well, you have a good base for a story, but it's too short and has very little detail. Since it's your first story I have to admit that it's pretty good but it could honestly be much better. I think that you have a talent that could be useful, but you still have a long way to go.
AppleCider1412 chapter 1 . 7/13/2011
ok you have a good story idea and basis but you need NEED to get better. the story is WAY too short, you need to fix the sentance structure aswell as acctually write it in a decent paragraph, IT LACKS WAY TOO MUCH DETAILS, and it needs to be cleaned up.

i understand this is your first story so i say continue. i like the story basis and it's a great idea but you seriously need to fix this.

constructive critisisim.