|Reviews for Humanization|
| Guest chapter 29 . 8/3/2014
Now you made me feel even worse for them.
I hope Epsilon survives though.
| Tales from the Lee chapter 1 . 5/12/2014
This may seem odd, but I'm writing this review upon reading chapter 26. As such, I am unaware of the latter half of this story and will resolve myself to try to avoid spoilers.
Now, I feel it is my duty as a fan, and editor, to give a legitimate review of this story so that it may influence others to read it as well.
First off, I feel I should mention I caught the "Wost _...of all time." Joke. Nice RvB reference, I'm rather glad to have found someone who included such an obscure but rather perfectly timed reference.
That aside, here's the qualitative summation.
This story is well written, though sadly suffers from several recurring spelling errors. That said, there are very few grammatical errors, which leads me to believe the errors are the result of a spell-checker automatically correcting things. I'd recommend you read through it again, or allow an editor to look over things to clear this up. I will honestly say however, that they aren't especially glaring, as they are few and far between. An example would be the use of "rouge," rather than "rogue" when talking about the Alpha Series. Rouge is a french word for red, and a common adjective for lipstick. As such, it is likely in the databases of a number of spell-checkers. Most of the spelling problems are similar to this, with existing words of similar structure being used inappropriately.
On the formal level, this story is well-made. Not perfect, but certainly deserving of a read by fans of the BioShock series, or anyone who happened to enjoy the Big Sisters. (Which I have always found to be a fascinating character design in contrast to the Big Daddies.) On the strictly formal arrangement of content, this story does a marvelous job, and while it does have a recurring issue of shifting point-of-view, it doesn't do so in an overly complicated manner, rather it shifts the POV in an understandable manner and quickly lets the reader know who is at the wheel without blatantly stating "(Insert Character here) POV"
As for content, allow me to state that this story does a fantastic job at displaying content, the world of Rapture feeling very much as it should, being a dog-eat-dog world that was made to emulate utopia, but emphasized dystopia. This story captures that, placing us primarily behind understandable characters that emphasize the differing viewpoints, with our primary protagonist serving as a good fill-in for the audience themselves, being an outsider and upholding our moral compass, with our secondary protagonist is more akin to our understanding as Subject Delta in BioShock 2, bearing a much narrower moral compass, but a more strict understanding of how the world works. (which we as players possessed in the sequel as opposed to the original game.) The shifting point-of-view in this manner, serves the story greatly, as we in the audience are able to see that the characters view things differently, and show exceptional epistemic differences or metaphysical values.
In an effort to avoid spoiling things too much, allow me to simply state that while this story is not completely spotless and could use an editors run-through to help clear up the spelling errors, the story itself is very well made in terms of the artistic factors such as theme, tone, and terminology.
Not to mention, there are numerous hidden jokes from popular culture that can elicit a chuckle from the well-rounded reader.
In short, I shall simply say that this is a marvelous story thus far and one that deserves the attention of other readers.
| jmc42199 chapter 37 . 2/21/2014
| DracoWolf316 chapter 46 . 2/19/2014
You mother F-er! I went through this whole story despite your warning, thinking you would have at least left it off on a filler chapter. Instead, I'm left with an epic cliffhanger of paramount proportions, and an emptiness that needs fulfillment.
Joking aside, I initially started out reading this because I wanted to see if there was a story about a Big Sister that wasn't just a short story or a story about some Sister/Daddy stuff. I have to say, I was blown away with how the story just keeps expanding with each new chapter. It seems like each moment I'm thinking "This is where the climax will happen, It's all going to finish soon." But then, it just keeps going higher on the suspense charts. I am very impressed as well with how you keep adding surprises, as well as new characters that become well fleshed out and serving purposes in the plot.
What I liked the most is the relationship so far between Theta and David. You don't go for those overused cliches of misunderstanding too often, and when it does happen, I can't even tell due to the unique nature of each event. Their relationship is so captivating too. It seems like a stereotypically relationship at first, guy meets girl, girl and guy hate each other, grow to like each other. But then there is so much stuff that gets in the way from outside influence that it becomes a sort of stormy sea of emotion.
Last but not least, I can't get enough of the side stories involving Alpha, Leo, and the Big Brother. They don't even seem like side stories, it's more like actual stories that coincide with the main plot. I don't know if that's what you went for or not, but it works so well that I wouldn't really care either way. The way you describe each event, it sounds like something that would actually happen in Rapture.
Well, I guess I should stop before I write an essay on this review. I just have to ask that you continue writing this. I am begging that you do. This is just too much of a good story to just give up on now. I know you haven't given up on it, according to your last post, but please don't ever stop writing this until it's actually ended.
| Person of no interest chapter 46 . 1/3/2014
I love this story! I look forward to reading more :)
| Onsholo chapter 32 . 12/25/2013
Is it wrong that i got a massive boner for Alpha?
| antonm1107 chapter 46 . 8/29/2013
I honestly have no idea how to react to this. On one hand, the grammar was absolute shit throughout the whole story, and it deserves a rewrite.
On the other, I really REALLY want to find out what happens next.
Are you going to update the chapters one by one as you complete them, or will you just do a mass update?
| Curious chapter 46 . 8/27/2013
While I understand perfectly if you choose not to, I was curious, could you post updates on your progress of the rewrite? i.e. Ten chapters rewritten, five chapters rewritten, or something like that. I'm fine if you don't, I was just wondering if you would.
| Snigby chapter 46 . 8/26/2013
I was so happy there was an update
But it was an authors not ;(
It's still going to be an awesome rewrite!
| Relieved chapter 46 . 8/25/2013
This is the kind of thing I was talking about. Thank you so much for at least alerting us. Anyway, I wish you luck in this particular endeavor.
| Jknight3135 chapter 46 . 8/25/2013
Do whatever you gotta do, I'll be here when you're done. :p And as a writer myself I know what it's like.
| Sad and Waiting chapter 45 . 8/25/2013
Argh! It's been over six months, I understand you're busy, you have a life, other things to do, etc. But please, PLEASE, at least give some kind of update on this story, it's by far one of my favourites on this site. And I hate not knowing anything about it's next update.
| mkz chapter 44 . 7/4/2013
im still following, and I applaud your dedication to finishing this. Keep going!
| Guest chapter 45 . 5/22/2013
Are you making anymore chapters?!
| Bio team2 chapter 45 . 5/2/2013