Reviews for Secrets
Winterhalt chapter 13 . 8/15/2013
OmG. dose this story continue? I have to know what Dermish did to cheshire? please...please...please...
Taeniaea chapter 13 . 7/7/2012
cool story
JanikaRay chapter 13 . 11/16/2011
Oh my awesome! This is the best OC-centered fic I've read in months! I love that Megan never told anyone what Dermish did to her; OCs are soooooo unbelievable when they run around bawling their eyes out and telling anyone who asks their heart-breaking pasts. This is great; hurry up on the sequel!
88dragon06 chapter 13 . 11/14/2011
Nice story. I really enjoyed reading it. Thought you wrote the characters well. When you making a sequel?
Guest chapter 4 . 10/24/2011
OMG why does Mindbnder want Megan? Who is she really? What evil is Cobra planning? This story is great, especially for a first attempt!
Card Carrying Villains chapter 11 . 9/25/2011
Great story! Cheshire is an actually believable OC, and I like how you kept the whole "oh yah, she's actually been working directly with the Joes the whole time" thing a secret. I always enjoy the whole "she's evil...psych!" gambit, and you actually managed to pull it off. The only inconsistancy I would note (and this is small and nitpicky and totally not worth mentioning but it's one in the morning and being awake for a very long time brings out my OCD) is the whole "well actually a lot of people have better aim than Storm Shadow" thing. Considering that the entire reason Zartan was able to frame him in the first place was because his aim was so ridiculously good none of the clan masters could consider anyone else in the entire world making that shot,I think it is a little unfair to say that a fair amount of Joes are better. I might be willing to give you Snake Eyes, but I don't think all that many people would have more accuracy than a guy who can shoot a squirrel in the heart through a brick wall and pin it to a tree after making a bullseye with an arrow. Granted, this whole aim thing could have been due to the fact that his brain has been melted to the consistancy of chowder, in which case I am not only obsessing over a trivial detail but wrong. It didn't detract from the story at all, I just have a thing about details. Jokers.
Karama9 chapter 11 . 9/23/2011
I just caught up on about 4 chapters. I like where you took the plot! I have a weakness for any story that includes Storm Shadow having been brainwashed, and on top of that, you made him enjoy teaching, something I do too. It's also the first time I see someone else describe the Cobra troops as a mix of junkies and mercenaries, it really feels like we're on the same wavelength on several things. I didn't happen to inspire some of that, did I? :)

I also liked the nod to the comics, having the Baroness shoot him and Mindbender want the body. I wonder where they are, though? Weren't they in the same helicopter Cheschire hijacked? You didn't specify what she did to them.

Looking forward to the next chapter.
willwrite4fics chapter 11 . 9/23/2011
Even if Cheshire is kind of a little bit too good at too many things, I think you're still this side of "too far". Despite the fic not really being much about Joes, it's still very engaging and your choices of phrase and timing is impeccable. It's rare I read any fic that is OC centered and remain entertained and interested. I like the twists you've used and the plot twists are good. Only thing I'd complain of is when Cheshire jumps into the chopper, it's not completely clear that it's her and Storm without anyone else. So far your storyline is clear and has direction with a lot of action, with everything staying comprehensible. Nice job.
Bronwynn chapter 5 . 8/13/2011
I am enjoying your fanfic. I loved the training session with the ninjas.
Karama9 chapter 4 . 7/31/2011
I liked the action in this chapter. Megan looks like she can be useful, and she certainly kept her head in a bad situation (mostly), without being the ultimate person who can save the day all by herself.

I also always appreciate at least hinting that Storm Shadow is not an all out villain - in this case her description seem to indicate he's manipulated or brainwashed. I'm curious to see where you'll go from there!

There is one thing that confused me, though. You ended one scene with the Commander ordering Storm Shadow to kill Megan, but then he never did and next time we see the Commander, he appears to have planned for her to stay alive all along. I'm guessing he either changed his mind or 'the girl' was not actually Megan, but it felt like a contradiction and detracted from the story (in my humble opinion). If it's meant to be a mystery, an indication of that would have made things more comfortable for me. But then maybe it's just me. Like I said, I did enjoy the chapter despite being confused about this point.

Looking forward to your next update!
Karama9 chapter 3 . 7/26/2011
Nice chapter. I have no idea how she's staying so calm, but I'm glad you mentioned she had to work at it. Maybe reading emotions so well, she's trained herself to be in good control of them? I wonder if it'll last... being powerless would make anybody nervous.

I'm curious to see more!
theonewhowrotetatertots chapter 3 . 7/22/2011
Oooh I am totally interested in reading more, this is good. I'm liking the main character as well. Keep up the good work.
Giant Snapping Turtle chapter 2 . 7/20/2011
Loving it still! Like I said before, you have a really good voice. I'm usually weary of first person stories, but you handled it really well! She sounds believable. I don't think she is Mary Sue-ish yet either. Of course if she strays that way I would let you know. AND...I like her name :)

That probably isn't too important, but I like it ;)
Giant Snapping Turtle chapter 1 . 7/20/2011
I really love the voice of your writing! You have a great style and I really do hope you continue. This is very very good for your first piece!

Don't listen to that other reviewer :P I'm partially new to this fandom too and my first story was OC. Its really hard to get people into the OC stories, simply because most people really like to hear from the cannon characters, but since it is well-written, I'm sure if you continue, you'll get some followers :) I love the idea too!

Keep writing! I'll keep reading :)
stop it chapter 2 . 7/20/2011
The story sucks. Stop posting it over and over again hoping to get reviews.