Reviews for Code 499
TimeyWimeyBadWolf chapter 1 . 8/23/2015
Well written, nice job. Might be good if you added more details at the end, though.
meme7789 chapter 1 . 5/22/2015
fun, fun. nice story. thank you for posting this.
Atticot chapter 1 . 10/27/2014
So, I liked your story's plot. I love stories where Alex's classmates find out about his job. They ridicule and exclude him for being sickly or for being a druggie, gangster etc. It is hilarious to think of their reactions when they find out Alex is one of the best spies in MI6..
Anyway, you need to work on your paragraphing. The first paragraph was way too large and large chunks of text tend to give the readers eyesores, so I suggest breaking it down to smaller parts.
Another fault in your story is the background information you provided on all the students. Most of them were not exceptionally important to the plot or the story so it would have been more favorable if you hadn't included the details of half of the aforementioned students.
Bubblekins1010 chapter 1 . 8/20/2014
Probably the best I've read so far. Certainly overdone, but this actually has a decent story to it. Good job!
MLM24 chapter 1 . 11/6/2013
So good!
Rrit chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
awesome story but try to use more paragraphing. that first big chunk was like 6 paragraphs all mushed into one. i really like these types of stories! grat story... or one shot? idk. :P XD, nice idea with the politics. and uncle wolf!
ADayWithNoLaughterIsADayWasted chapter 1 . 3/3/2012
It's so hard to find a good story where people find out about Alex's secret. But that was awesome(:
SylverSpyder chapter 1 . 10/27/2011
very good. You should add a chapter or two. it's definitely got potential beyond a one-shot. It is a little rough in a few places, fix the bullet proof window/clothes thing and you should be good though.
genkigeek chapter 1 . 9/23/2011
I agree with what everyone else has said - good idea, bad execution. The first paragraph was too long and hard to read. The dialogue is also really stiff and unnatural. And the name "Mai Ling" isn't Japanese - it's Chinese :)
Synchro lover chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
:D:D:D:D
daughterofhorses chapter 1 . 8/27/2011
I like the way Tom just lets everything slip out. You should consider splitting the first paragraph up into several though, that would make it much easier to read.
grimmich chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
hmmm not bad... but which soldier was the kids dad? poor Tom though... but that would have made an awesome yaoi moment (I LOVE yaoi so I tend to look at things between males as yaoi if I think they will make a good couple [which seme Alex and uke Tom is definitely a good couple!]) when Tom called out to, and ran after, Alex...
Jajrulz chapter 1 . 7/17/2011
Good plot, bad execution. That pretty much sums up this story, when writing we don't need to know about the minor characters just the ones that directly influence the story. Remember in writing less is more

Did you review your story and look at the spelling beforehand? This simple action would have helped the reader a little bit.

Also I have a little problem with how you introduced the characters because it sounded more Luke a report on them than a story per se.

I'm afraid this story wasn't the best.

Jajrulz
serenityselena chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
interesting story...

at least now they will appreciate Alex _
Mainn chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
Nice idea. Lots of spelling and grammar errors, and needless run on, but a really good story. I don't think this would have happened quite like this, I refuse to believe Alex would give up his secret that easily, but very nice story. With a pit of polishing and revision it could be fantastic.
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