|Reviews for Uzumaki Naruto: Dawn of the Gamer|
| ShadowLord1329 chapter 20 . 11/20
Ah the running gag potential is through the roof KakashiXAnko anyone?
| ShadowLord1329 chapter 7 . 11/18
watch?vPuQCyFJ1Dk4 I have been listening to this while reading this fic if you like it then by all means give me a shout out that goes for any other author reading this review got this on a constant loop and it kind of got that RPG Gamer kind of vibe
| Ralto chapter 21 . 11/18
Alright so. It's my first review but despite me liking this fanfic ( I have been rereading fanfiction in order to observe writing techniques how you describe etc etc.. anyway ) the first time it made me like it but I was kinda uncomfortable with some things. After rereading this one twice I now see why.
Anko despite being good and important, does not have the professionalism of a ninja. And like too many idiot actions or facts happens. Since when do people talk of S class mission. It's forbidden by the village. I believe that even A are depending of the content of the mission ( I'm talkin' about the right to talk about missions. )
There is also the respect. Every NINJA must have a certain amount of respect when talkin to the Hokage in private. Even the one the Sandaime likes the most, (except Naruto but in general he doesn't go too far ) but your Anko is so disrespecting ( though in a playful manner ) him be it in front of Umino, her team etc.. I know they have reputation to be uncontrollable etc.. but it's basic ninja stuff.
The rest of the rant is more about certain actions or description you wrote. But it generally doesn't bother me too much. But I get that most of these actions are the result of you wanting to make Naruto and his team subconsciously yet without the arrogance want to boast or make them public so that either people laugh or gawk or be shocked and jealous.. but there are steps to respect.
All in all, what I said were just for you to kinda remember or be cautious about those bad or good points depending on people.
But really what bothers me the most are the curses. While I do not mind vulgarity can you write less cringey words or childish curse ? They are too common.
Also the outburst of women like Anko are things I find too frequent. And boasts should be introduced more smoothly they feel forced most of the times.
Anyways I really like this story so that's why I felt the need to give you my first review ! Mind you I repeat I like this story. Just those things I hinted at are bothering me after a second reread of the fanfic.
| Guest chapter 30 . 11/17
more please we whant more chapters
| Xahn777 chapter 30 . 11/15
Caught up. Pretty sure i just forgot to follow/favorite the first time.
| Poe489 chapter 30 . 11/13
You have to update the story
| imortis chapter 30 . 11/11
Motha f$%# ! I hate cliffhangers! Awesome story man can't wait for next chappie.
| Waitingformonths chapter 30 . 11/11
| shadyxlr chapter 27 . 11/11
Can only say damn to the Omake and the father reactions of chapter 27.
| shadyxlr chapter 17 . 11/11
Loved the Omake for chapter 17 and hope to kami it turns Canon for the story lol...
| shadyxlr chapter 16 . 11/11
Can't wait to see how Naruto reacts to this harem of his in the long run lol...
| shadyxlr chapter 9 . 11/11
Love the Anko relationship as of chapter 9.
| Kittens Kat chapter 30 . 11/10
I love your story! It's been great reading it through! Thank you for all of your hard work!
| Xahn777 chapter 4 . 11/10
...I've read tbis beat for beat before but it was loaded to the first page on my phone and i didn't see it in my favorites. Not sure why i stopped reading it the first time so I'm giving this another shot.
| Watcher777 chapter 21 . 11/5
Hmm, so I see it did not post the first half of my post. weird. Ok, from the top.
First off I think you're a great writer, your plot appears well thought out, your characters are interesting and believable, and you either have an amazing grasp of grammar and self correction or a great beta. My problem is in the mechanics of your plot and that you might actually be unaware of some info and that you decided to nurf the ability and the Shadow Clone ability but provided no warning to the readers.
The Gamer ability, assuming you read the original comic here, allowed a vanilla high school boy to go from completely average to so powerful that he's been told that it will take at least a mid level organization to take him down in just 2 years, and then got even more ridiculous in a 3rd year. And a lot of the characters in The Gamer put Naruto ninja to shame. The whole point of the Gamer ability is that it's OP and broken.
So we have that and then you nurfed it when applying it to Naruto. First off the Body of a Gamer allows the character to fight and operate at 100% effectiveness until 0 HP, but you introduce body durability to counter that. The Mind/Spirit of the Gamer prevents all mind altering status affects and mind control. You put level caps on it and say that other stuff doesn't count. Which leads right into Shadow Clones. In the manga and anime the only things that transfer with Shadow Clones are memories and left over chakra (and Naruto frequently used so many of them that the screen was overwhelmed by orange), but you say fatigue transfers too and too many memories will make his brain short out. By description the clones aren't real and CANT have fatigue, and the Mind of the Gamer should perfectly counter the memory overload issue. Also Gamer skill leveling is specifically about repetition and nothing else. Using Shadow Clones, even in a limited fashion, should allow Naruto to master his skills in a super fast time.
Finally I don't agree with the attributes application you used, specifically how it applies to chakra and that you changed the attributes in the game but in a weird way. In The Gamer the stats are Power, STR, DEX, INT, WIS, and LUC. HP was a combo of the physical stats, MP was INT and mana regeneration was WIS. In the manga and anime chakra is the combination of stored physical energies and stored spiritual energies. If you were really going to base chakra total on stats you'd have to do something like "highest of Power, STR, or DEX plus highest of INT and WIS times something else. I don't know if you were making a mistake but several times you mention WIS is the creation of chakra instead of INT and that doesn't make sense. Neither does making chakra control, a SKILL that must be learned, based only in WIS.
... And that finished my first part...