|Reviews for Enjoy The Moment|
| wayward-girl-21 chapter 1 . 12/15/2012
I fucking love this already. I was a bit hesitant regarding the whole Jayden/Blake ship, but this... this is amazing. :3
| An amazed fan chapter 9 . 10/18/2012
This is so amazing, I admire your writing abilities and your appetite for passion :3 haha well kudos to you! perfect ending and I hope you realize what talent you have :)
| ThePinkKirby chapter 9 . 8/4/2012
I do have some criticisms and I have to note a few things that work out well. I hope this doesn’t turn out to be too long.
First of all, there were a few possible errors in vocabulary that I noticed.
1. (Chapter 6) I have never heard of the barrel of a gun be referred to as a “nozzle”.
I could be wrong about it being incorrect though, I’m not that familiar with guns.
2. (Chapter 8) I’ve sure it’s just a typo, but you wrote the act of being cautious as “walking over egg SHELVES”.
I find the first three chapters then the ninth chapter most to my liking due to the intimacy present in them, which sadly seemed depleted in other chapters. Maybe I’m just not one to be so satisfied by smut. (I have always been more of a type for romance, even if it’s only gradually formed.) Altogether, I was just disappointed to see Norman and Carter develop a possible occasionally cute/friendly relationship then have it be mostly disregarded for several chapters.
In Chapter 4 I found the fight to be slightly out of place, and thought that perhaps it should have taken place at an earlier time in Carter and Norman’s relationship, when there would characteristically be more animosity between the two. Of course, you didn’t start out with the intention of following a plot, so I understand possible reasons for it’s later placement.
In Chapter 5, I felt uncomfortable with some of Carter’s “heterosexual thoughts”, mostly because they felt possibly out of character. I suppose I found them a bit silly.
Of course, neither of us know what he’d really think, due to not having initially wrote him, but it felt wrong to me nonetheless.
On a similar note, I dislike how this, and many other fanfictions make either or both Carter and Norman uncomfortable with their sexual orientation. I think such thoughts work fine with, say, younger characters, but otherwise, it can make the relationship feel more “forced”, as if they would not be initially attracted to each other. Then, would they really end up together?
In accordance with this, as I mentioned before, I am a fan of romance, and such feelings interrupt a possible closeness between the characters due to, say, not wanting to be/appear gay or “feminine”. There are sometimes too many scenes with excessive dislike or denial present in this and other Jayden/Blake stories (As well as ones outside this pairing.)
This is simply my own interpretation, but I feel like you have Carter Blake going after Norman a bit too much, when I felt that he reacts to the other man as opposed to actively trying to force his dislike on him.
I feel as though Norman explaining his drug problem could’ve worked out dramatically, but it could possibly be inserted in later chapters, perhaps when Norman and Carter’s relationship is more intimate?
In concluding my criticisms, I think that with the Origami Killer case solved, Norman and Carter don’t have to be so unfriendly to each other, and they (especially Carter) can be too uncomfortable with their sexualities in your story. Again, I suppose since everything is down to interpretations, nothing is wrong, but those were still my feelings.
Now, there are some things I did like about the story.
I significantly liked chapter nine. I think you wrote Ethan, Shaun, and Madison very well, as well as Carter and Norman’s interactions and thoughts concerning them. At this chapter, everything started to feel more natural, like it could be a continuation of the original story.
Also, when you try, you can write affection well, which I did enjoy when it was present.
I suppose I could say that you are pretty good at writing sex scenes. I guess there's not much else to say about a thing like that.
I hope I didn't come off as too critical or forceful, I did enjoy some of it, and it seems hard for me to find a decent Jayden/Blake fanfiction around here.
| WhereDestiniesMeet17 chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
Wow. I loved this. Great descriptions, well written, and I loved the characterization. Norman was cute the way you wrote him. Carter was still an ass but an ass I could put up with. I adored the ending. Thanks for a great read. keep writing.
| knownothingable chapter 7 . 4/11/2012
"He had an erection again."
This was glorious. Funny and hot, with surprising tension.
| Scotch chapter 9 . 10/3/2011
I really have nothing more to say. I love you.
| OnlySnakesCanLove chapter 9 . 10/1/2011
UGH, I am SUCH a douche bag for taking so long to review! I swear, getting free time- even when I'm NOT working, is like pulling teeth. Aplogies aside, I've read this twice already. I promise it won't be the last. ;)
I don't know if I can fully put into words how happy I get when I see you update. Seeing an amazing author update so frequently and with such passion is really too good to be true. So I assure you the feeling is quite mutual. :D
Now, on to the awesomeness that layith before me- this chapter was BOMBASTIC. Yeah, BOMBASTIC, I'm bringing that word back! Though the words "Cute & HOT as all holy fuck" might be more appropriate. The entire before-sex segment was a terrific insight into both Carter and the Mars Family, and the relationships they share.
The conversation and troubled feelings with both Shaun and Ethan were handled exactly how I would see them, and so well at that. Ethan being quite forgiving and willing to put it all behind him, propelled probably by the fact that him and Norman are also friends. (From what he knows, anyway!) Not to mention Carter's interaction with Shaun being tremendously adorable- despite my hatred with kids, I'd love to see Carter and Norman's relationship come to a point where they discuss the idea of raising a kid together. (Not just an adoption, but like a surrugate mother dealie.) OMG, that baby shower would be hilarious as shit.
But anyway, I just want to say that this is one of my favorite aspects of your story. Having the Mars family involved keeps the feeling geniune to me. It's even better that everyone is involved amd friends- it really is a best-case scenario, and I love that view.
I'll jump to the sex part to quicken this up, because really I could gush all night- I really appreciated the part where Blake felt terrified of losing Jayden. That was powerful stuff, because that's EXACTLY how it happens. You don't think anout it until the wrong moment, and it hits you how easy it could all be torn away. Him wishing Jayden had a less-dangerous lifestyle was also heart-clenching. It's really indicative to how deep their relationship has progressed.
The rimjob...Oooooooh YEAH. There are so many good quotes in this chapter, but the one where Norman spreads his legs and Carter "was too unfocused to concentrate on the implication that Norman was spreading him apart like a girl in order to gain better access to his body." NOM-NOM.
Like most people, I had no desire to read/watch/fantasize about rimming at first, but once you actually give it a chance and make the realization that the anus can be super-clean AND isn't much better then giving someone a blow-job out of the same organ that they urninate from...WITHOUT showering, sometimes, it's actually not much different. LOL. So now I think they are HOT, and I must say I found Carter's reaction to be very realisitic. I hope it's not the last time we get to read about it. ;)
CARTER RIDING NORMAN? For REALZ, playah? That was an unexpected moment of delight. :) I love just how Norman tries to be gentle, and Carter just gets offended. It drives me nuts, LOL. The feelings and sensations all came together in a lovely way. Very, VERY satisfied, to say the least!
I can ALWAYS come up with SOMETHING to request. LOL. That I have no problem doing- I rather like the reviewer's idea about fucking Norman in his sleep. Though I also would like to see some Blake cuddling, seeing as Jayden always gets to be the cuddler, I'd like to see it go the other way, at least once. Doggy or side-fucking, too. I also wouldn't mind seeing Blake "step up" and defend Jayden's honor at some point, perhaps while they're out or somemthing. I'd like to see Blake get REALLY angry over someone trying to take his man. XD
Another thing I'd think I'd point out- I would like to see your take on their family situations. Like, if Norman has any family around, and do they know he's gay? It would be interesting to see him try and explain there's a new man in his like. In Carter's case, I'd wonder if he had any close relationships with any family or if his parents are still alive. Stuff like that is interesting to me.
Also, seeing as some of the story seemed to take place in the summer- lets not forget that Jayden's birthday is in August. ;) I sure hope Blake has something nice planned!
I really need to start cutting these reviews down...LOL.
| Koto12 chapter 9 . 9/30/2011
Oh god. I love this so much. I feel like I should have reveiwed a lot earlier. But really, this whole story is fantastic. Every time there's a new chapter it like...makes my day.
As far as suggestions go, I don't remember which chapter exactly, but it's a brilliant idea...I'd love to see exactly how far Carter could get with literally fucking Norman in his sleep. That'd just be awesome.
| Mrs Nahman Jayden FBI xD chapter 9 . 9/27/2011
Oh, Good Golly Wally! This was perfect! Everything about it! Especially the make-out scene, and then Blake! Omigosh. I just about swooned onto the floor. I love Norman more than ever. And I officially have no more requests! Honestly, you are BRILLIANT! I love you. Now all that's left is the wedding! With some more "adventures" in between. :D
"No it-...does it really?" Hahah, poor Norman. But he is just so adorable. That scene was just great. And beforehand, with Blake and Shaun playing the game! AND when Blake started to suffocate Norman with the pillow! I literally lol'd. I can totally see Blake doing that. :D
This day could seriously not get any better. The Lion King in 3D. A new chapter in this story. And then tonight, a new episode of Glee.
Ah, and in reference to your A/N: I think sporadic is a given when it comes to Blake and Norman.
| Scotch chapter 8 . 9/10/2011
... That was the hottest thing I've ever read. Having sex in a public place, sooooo friggin' kinky. And how you described Jayden looked was insanely (I NEVER use this word:) sexy. q and Blake's possessive line was just.. oh god. UNF. My roommate's here while I was reading and I still couldn't suppress my smiles or stop myself from blushing in utter pleasure. I can't say this chapter is my favorite because I absolutely adore everyyyything you write, but right now I'm still fanning myself over this one.
Jayden having an addictive personality makes so much sense, it was kinda like an 'aha!' moment. When I read your stories, I feel like I'm learning about the actual character from the game and not some fangirl's WISH of what the character was like. Which is awesome. And him being slightly 'metrosexual' without making him a huge girl about it, is awesome. Some of my straight friends are really into making themselves look nice, and yes, it DOES seem strange xD I make fun of them for it and joke about them being gay... But a man who cares about his looks makes them more manly in my eyes and way more attractive. I agree with the earlier comment, I want my own Norman. x3 Blake playing video games, haha! All these little details you include make my life that much brighter. :D
And.. I'm a total fag hag. Three of my close guy friends are gay. I like talking to them about relationships (both about my own and about theirs) because it's like.. different situations, but similar boyfriend problems. :] So I can't wait to see what Madison does! It's not only in reporter's blood to pry- it's just that when you have a friend, gay or straight, whose reluctant to give details, you become even more curious until you're practically ready to claw the answer out of them. But Madison has more control than me. xD I respect her for being so sensitive to how Jayden feels about the situation, though she doesn't completely let him off the hook. Also, I understand Jayden being reluctant to tell Ethan. It's horrible when relationships end because people get homophobic and think that gay people like EVERY same sex person they see.
Bluh. I don't know what to say. I'm infatuated with your idea of Blake being jealous of Jayden's friends. This story just keeps getting better and better and I love you. You are a god.
| aki chapter 8 . 9/7/2011
Fantastic work as usual! Blake is so.. :D Really, Norman has a lot to handle with him. This fic is one of my favorites! :)
| OnlySnakesCanLove chapter 8 . 9/7/2011
Ohhhhh, MAN. Was that nice. :D
Writing porn...Girl, it's hard to find a better way to spend one's time. Hah. It's so gratifying in every way- I don't care what anyone says. How else can you make both your body AND mind happy in one fell swoop?
Blake playing video games...LOVE IT. I agree that the sight of a 40-some year old man Nintendo-ing his ass off is not only ammusing in itself, but seeing Blake doing it is just that more entertaining. I also found one part of Jayden's description almost hauntingly simular to my own- we both have addictive personalities in exactly the way you described. I also will get into something, and become temporarily obsessed with it. I do it with so many things at one time, it's also how I've accumulated so much JUNK. LOL. Granted, it also draws me deeply into fandoms like this one, so it's one thing about me that I actually love.
Also, this really reminded me of myself- I got into fitness hardcore about six months ago. Now I work out about two hours average a day! So I know EXACTLY how addictive that post-runner, post-lifting feeling is. Damn, it's uncanny!
The call with Madison was both entertaining and a relief- so nice to see somebody 'finding out' about those two, it's almost sexy in it's own way. Also, it adds an embarrasing sort of...'flavor' to the relationship. It almost makes it more valid? Not sure how to describe it. You just know that now she's imagining them two doing it- and that's hot. ;)
Blake in a suit store..What's not to CREAM YOURSELF over? I will say I adored the thought of Blake getting all exctited seeing Jayden in that suit. Then what happens next, it's so delightfully entertaining in more than just a 'sex' sense. He was attracted to him, in not just a 'I want to have sex' sort of way, and I found it perfect. Lovely idea.
"Does it fit right, sir?" BWAHAHA! OMG. Classic. xD NO IT DOESN'T, THAT'S WHY IT'S SO GOOD. XD
Wow-wow-wow- That was some hot sex. The mirror was a stroke of GENIUS. And that line- "…I'm the only one who gets to see you like this." Posessive, protective- You are AMAZING. The perfect thing to say at the perfect moment. Just WOW.
Fag Hag. xD I've heard of Girl Fag, before, which I certaintly am, but Fag Hag...That's a new one. Now I know EXACTLY what you're talked about, though, and I agree. I did get that vibe, too. The short hair and bike kinda brought that about. But then, I also held my judgement because being a girl that considers herself slightly bi and keeping her hair also short and liking boy things and porn- I tend to be viewed as a lesbian as well. LOL.
BUT YES, THAT'S SO HER. She's such a fag hag, and that's exactly the relationship they all have...It all fits now, haha. This is greatness, right here. XD
And don't you worry about suggestions- this sure as shit was AWESOME, and in the end, our suggestions are just that- this is your story and feel free to do as you please. No pressure. But seriously...No drug can compare to the high I get when you update this story. :3 Like a previous reviewer put, squeeze every creative juice you can into this story...because now I'm addicted. LOL.
| Mrs Nahman Jayden FBI xD chapter 8 . 9/6/2011
Ahahaha. I LOVE the idea of clingy Blake! Love, love, love it! Gah, loved this chapter. You know, the first time Norman and Blake tell each other they love each other (and they will, one day, I hope!) I think it will be Blake who says it first. Just the way this story's going. And if that happens, I will just ... DIE! Nothing would give me greater pleasure than that. But I think it would have to be a rare 'sweet-Blake' moment, y'know? And then he can go right back into being an asshole. Just my thoughts. :D
Which reminds me of something else I would like to see (if you want to, of course): a make-out scene, that doesn't occur during sex or to shut each other up (although that could be the excuse). Just a little scene, y'know? I think that would be another little step forward. Just my thoughts, though!
Also, I forgot to say in my last review:
I have to say that I loved when Norman told Blake to slow down, because I can just imagine that Norman would be so sweet and gentle in and out of bed. He would be the perfect boyfriend. Ohh, I want a Norman! And then there's Blake, who's all ... rawr. And LOL at the fact that Norman was expecting he'd top Blake. Poor Norm was in for a bit of a shock.
I got no lesbian vibes off Madison. In all honesty, the first time round, I thought she and Norman were going to get together. I was quite disappointed when they didn't, but hey, Ethan deserves some love after what he's been through. And I love that you're actually going to write the wedding! I thought it had already happened, so I like that you included a timeline in here that we can follow.
I love your idea for the badass trio. Best. Idea. Evah. Besides Clingy Blake. It has potential to be the best thing since sliced bread. :D
| titillating tilly chapter 8 . 9/5/2011
Perfect review, I know.
Lovely as always. I have to say, I greatly enjoyed the bit with Blake showing a possessive side.
| Scotch chapter 7 . 9/2/2011
Ohmygod. These updates. :'D Make. Me. So. Happy.
Their relationship is so unique. The development is realistic, but I never have any idea what to expect! This whole story is just a pleasure to read. It makes me giggle, excited, hold my breath, bite my lip.. And their dialogue is just genius. It's so.. consistent? I guess is the word? There aren't any moments where I think, "He said THAT?" or "Since when did he get all caring?" or anything like that. Blake is Blake, and Jayden is Jayden. Though admittedly a different Jayden from the one I first envisioned- your interpretation of him is WAY better, more interesting, and deeper than mine was before reading this.
And I love that Jayden doesn't admit to his addiction. It would have been too soon. I like the idea of Jayden wanting to end his addiction on his own, without help. If Blake found out, it'd have be on accident. Though Jayden's often submissive, he has a spirit and a sense of pride that I really love about him. He doesn't go down without a fight!
Also, I'm adoring this backstory. ADORING. IT. I'm intensely addicted to figuring out how their feelings changed over time. The scene that most burned into my mind was that little domestic one, where Jayden was wearing Blake's clothes and they had playful banter about being married. Too. Cute. I'm glad you don't overdo the fluff, though. Too much would make their relationship seem.. trivial somehow. However, I do admit that I absolutely freak out over those few rare moments. Maybe once their relationship normalizes (which I hope it never completely does; this 'fatal attraction' relationship is way more engaging!), awkward cute moments will be more common?
That's just my thoughts. Whatever you end up writing, I know I'll enjoy reading it. I love surprises, and you're fantastic at giving them. :) I wish this story would never end! Strain your creative juices as much as you can. Your writing is my tripto. With college and finances fighting for my attention, I only go on to see if you've updated.
TL;DR: You're just awesome and I love you sooo much for writing this story. 3