|Reviews for Little Girl|
| ano chapter 1 . 5/22
| MichelTestarossa chapter 1 . 6/26/2013
That was a good one, great job, thumbs n.n
| ColinatorGX chapter 1 . 9/1/2011
Ok, ok, I need to say it. I LOVE the way you describe feelings. You manage to fit descriptions and words in there that at first may sound abstract and totally unrelated to people's feelings for one another, but are SO FITTING and RIGHT to what you're trying to show.
"Forever" would be the best example here. I never thought I'd see the word used like that.
| yurimylove chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
Another very enjoyable read in the Hayate x Vivio journey. Interesting setting for this part of the storytelling, as noted by other reviewers too. Wish I could go on that camping trip too )
I cracked up laughing when I read "it was Vita's first and last attempt at knitting" - LAST being the operative word here XD
The game they're playing seems interesting. I looked it up on the web and found it's name. So it's a boardgame based on Lovecraft's novels, right? I'm guessing you must've played it before to know the ins and outs of the game?
Vivio is very sweet in this story, being very attentive and considerate of Hayate's wellbeing. Your use of the word devotion is very apt here. So Fate's observation and conclusion is very sound, this is not just a childhood crush. It is now more that than. And it has the potential to reach full bloom love, depending on Hayate's decision...
Another masterpiece, author-san! The only "improvement" I could possible think of, would be to add one more paragraph to the end:
"Later that night in NanoFate's extra tent, after some ummm... 'evening exercise' w Fate and Nanoha finally have their serious talk - which dish is better to serve Hayate: Starlight Breaker or Riot Zanber XD"
Hahah, just kidding... I couldn't resist with another of these "comedic jabbing" _;
| Blissful Turtle chapter 1 . 7/19/2011
I said it before, but my favorite part of this is that it was a simple, subtle moment that tipped off Fate. That was a wise choice. The interplay between the characters themselves, as well as the humor involved made this a very enjoyable read. Well done.
| DezoPenguin chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
Very sweet. I like this a lot. I like that it's Fate rather than Nanoha who notices first (she's supposed to be the detective), I like the humor and the byplay between the characters. I think ending here is good, because it acts as a bit of a cliffhanger, yet at the same time with a kind-of-funny realization (I love the line, "Where was the parental speech for something like this?").
Placing this all into the context of the camping trip (a little Author Appeal there, eh? _ ) with the group was good, too, because the byplay between the friends, the discussion of Hayate's career, and so on helps to put the whole thing into some kind of context. You could basically have posted only the part after the scene break as the full story (since that's the *point* of this story in terms of the "Hayate x Vivio Files"), but it would have been a lot less effective and a lot less entertaining to do so.
Hmmm...a Zarf shipper, eh?
| Major Mike Powell III chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
Well, well, soldier...
That's an interesting game they were playin'. LOL
Then, a worrying convo there between Fate and Shamal about Hayate. Dang. :S
And THEN! Fate saw IT!
SO S-W-EET! X3 I digg the "Forever". *O*
I'm LOEVin' these one-shots of yours, marine! ViHayate FTFW! :DDDDDDDDD
I'll definitely be lookin' VERY much foward to the following fics, marine!
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
| Tear of Light chapter 1 . 7/18/2011
This is an awesome one shot. Cute. Fluffy. Drama. All that good stuff. :)
Keep up the great writing deathcurse! :)