|Reviews for The Reluctant Jedi|
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 4 . 3/22
Looking at Han's jealousy gives Luke a perfect excuse to 'spot' Guinan as the other Jedi: neatly done! (And I like the way he identifies her by aligning himself using the Force, then simply opening his eyes to see whom he is looking at...)
I can't help grinning at Guinan's little quip about Yoda's shoes... though she is starting to sound very Yoda-ish in this little exchange. ("The ways of the Jedi I studied for a few years"... and calling him "youngling"...) I like the way you've characterised the confrontation: Luke very young and serious and urgent, and Guinan playing the adamant wise elder.
On the other hand, the next two paragraphs felt to me somewhat stilted in style: Guinan "wandered off", Luke "couldn't think of anything else to say", he "sat in the nearest chair", he "watched half-heartedly as Han approached Leia", he "sipped his orange juice, dividing his attention between Han, Leia and Riker, and Guinan" - it came across as just a list of actions. I think that part of the problem there is that you've got no fewer than five consecutive sentences that all start "Luke looked", "Luke sipped", "He sat", "He gulped" etc.
Does the Star Wars universe really not have strawberries? (Neither Luke nor Grau appears to recognise them... or perhaps they've never come across the chocolate-coated variety?)
A nice little nod here back to Grau's smile of appreciation for Dr Crusher's defiance in the previous chapter - and a definite hint of flirting between them, taken up later!
The 'action scene' with the stormtroopers didn't work very well for me: again, it came across as just a list of who did what to whom, with repetitive sentence structure. (And "would've" reads clumsily: it might have been more 'transparent' just to write "would have" and let the reader's eye do the elision.)
Given that the previous sentence describes Chewbacca and Han going down together in a heap, when Worf aims his phaser I was actually confused as to how he was planning "to stun both Jeljurr and Han" and wondering whether this was an error for "Chewbacca and Han". On reflection I take it that his intention here must have been to stun the imperial captain first and then Han separately if he attempted to renew his attack; but the progression of thought isn't obvious.
Grau's sudden determination to surrender (and his comic insistence that only Han Solo, who outright refuses to co-operate, is qualified to accept his surrender) is certainly a turn-up for the books. I'm not quite clear why he stages his mutiny at this precise point, when the Empire has presumably been crumbling since the "Conqueror" left port and his arguments surely all apply to all other vessels in the Imperial fleet, but I take it Jeljurr's breach of truce is the last straw. He has apparently had the manoeuvre in mind for some time (Anarine is prepared and briefed on "Plan B")...
I like the little side-detail flung in about the avian officer who "won't care who gives the orders, so long as he gets home before his firstborn hatches" - I've always appreciated this sort of perspective on a world with real aliens (not just humans in latex masks...)
"The ship belongs Princess Leia and her crew" - I think there's a word missing here.
I had to look up "litotes"! (But wouldn't something along the lines of "this whole thing is just a trifle irregular" be a more accurate example of rhetorical understatement?)
I'm glad to see Picard and his fellow-captains taking a realistically cautious view of Leia's cause: from the Federation point of view, they have no reason to jump in whole-heartedly on the side of our 'heroes' or to assume that the shabby and fugitive ship in which Leia arrived indicates her as an official of a stable government. The observer team represents a credible compromise. (Though fifty men is a big mission!)
The way you've established here the decision that was actually made - a rendezvous in this spot in a year's time, and a Federation team being sent on board "Conqueror" to make contact - is a beautiful example of how to convey information in a natural sounding way without overt 'info-dump': congratulations. Everything comes out in the course of the characters' natural interactions without sounding at all forced.
"some other Federation vessel will be here next year to meet your envoy," he promised" - missing full stop at the end of this sentence.
"...avoiding young Commander Skywalker... Do you regret turning him down?" I did wonder on first reading this if Picard had got the wrong end of the stick over Luke's interest in Guinan! :-)
Poor young Luke: he really does need help, and discovering a lapsed Jedi as part of this new civilisation must have seemed like the answer to everything. It's a bit hard on him to find that she refuses to give any assistance at all, even if continuity as we know it demands that outcome...
I was left a bit puzzled that no-one seems to be anticipating any trouble at all in getting the visitors back to their own universe/star systems (they've got to be off any map to which they have access, surely), and that no explanation is ever given as to how the crossover happened in the first place. Presumably the idea is simply that the Galactic Republic exists/existed in some distant part of known space (in a galaxy far, far away, indeed...), since Guinan has already been there under what were presumably 'normal' travel circumstances.
NB: Is "Two Empresses" on FFnet? (B7 crossovers always interest me, but I can't see it.)
| Beloved Daughter chapter 4 . 3/14
Fun story! Thanks for writing and posting! I've never come across Grau before but I really enjoyed your take on him. :)
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 3 . 3/1
Plenty of humour in this chapter - Leia avoiding a kiss because of the healing gel on her brother's face, Chewbacca's compulsive showering (and how fortunate that he doesn't need to get all that fur wet!), Luke's society manners or inexperience thereof, the nameless stormtroopers, and of course the Imperial officers' total lack of diplomacy!
I wasn't quite clear why Luke and Leia are using telepathy to fill in the events that Luke has missed: there's no obvious reason why Leia can't give him this information openly - or why he couldn't have asked any of the Starfleet officers, or another of his friends - so it comes across as a bit of an excuse to reveal Deanna Troi's own telepathic powers. (These startled me, as going by the previous chapter I had Troi pegged as an empath; however a quick TNG web search reveals that she is in fact both.)
I like the way that Riker isn't just - as Luke assumes - being influenced by Han Solo's charm, but is actually attempting to pump him for information! A past(?) relationship between him and Troi sketched skilfully in here: again, an elegant economy of information for the benefit of the crossover fans.
The contrast between the attitudes to 'droids' in the two universes makes for an interesting comparison; and it's an inspired link to have Luke able to sense the absence of the Force in mechanical beings. (I never thought about it before, but presumably he's accustomed to experiencing this when dealing with R2D2 and C-3PO.)
Apparently Luke is actually right about benefiting from a portion of Han's "luck with the ladies" - at least so far as Troi and Guinan are concerned! I'd assumed he was simply being misled by their interrogative interest at the end of the last chapter... And it looks as if the 'reluctant' Jedi of the title is going to be Guinan rather than Luke, which I suppose I should have guessed earlier. Under the circumstances, it's quite hard to come up with a rationale why she would refuse to help - if the task is overwhelming for an ex-Jedi, it's even more so for a lone Jedi apprentice without her aid - but existential resignation is probably as good as any.
Stormtrooper armour "wasn't designed to block pheromones" - implying that Starfleet armour potentially is?
I like Grau, although I gather from the author's note that he's not actually an original character... making him a little less of an accomplishment! Jeljurr (whom I'm assuming from other reviewers' comments *is* an original character) comes across as a convincingly arrogant and callous Imperial commander: his cold-blooded assumption that the destruction of Alderaan is a point *against* Leia in depriving her of rank is a classic example of Imperial lack of empathy - and judgement. (Leia has evidently forbidden Han from making any rash comments, or indeed any comments at all: extremely wise!)
I'm surprised that Luke didn't pick up on Troi's Force-sensitivity earlier on, when he was alone with her or when he was talking to Leia with her eavesdropping...
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 2 . 2/16
Confusion at the start: how did the droids get swept up in the teleport? And is "Che-urp" the noise of the others beaming over, a remark from R2-D2, or a protest from Chewbacca here?
You actually blew up the "Millennium Falcon"... at the beginning of the story! That's quite a shock: we assume that the canon ships, like the characters, are always going to get rescued at the last minute...
I was a bit confused by the 'quarantine unit', as up to this point the story hasn't mentioned anything about the characters' beaming in behind a force field - just being in Sickbay, with lots of medical personnel rushing around.
It hadn't occurred to me... but yes, in Riker's place I think I might well start wondering whether all those high-sounding titles were self-awarded! It's a bit like all the "captains and mates" in 'Peter Duck', who eventually turn out to the real pirates' disgust to be nothing more than a lot of children with dinghies.
Typo in this chapter: "It's as much for you protection as ours"
The "Falcon" probably *is* more or less a homeworld to Han Solo... but it's interesting seeing the differing reactions of the characters here. It makes sense that Leia takes the wider view, and she's acting as a true diplomat rather than a swashbuckler's mate.
From the point of view of the narrative, it's a striking idea to have Guinan's 'inside information' be a couple of hundred years out of date. She knows the general set-up, but the politics have shifted radically and they have only the participants' word for the worth of either side. (And she knows Yoda!)
"I find Jelhurr obnoxious, but he may well be right": Picard genuinely is trying to be neutral and to see beyond surface impressions - don't automatically assume the well-spoken humanoids are in the right! I'm impressed.
I'm amused by the hint that Guinan may have crossed into the Doctor Who universe as well. (I'm assuming that Gallifrey is *not* TNG canon..!)
A nice little scene between Leia and Han: a lot unspoken, very much in character for both. I do wonder whether even the "Millennium Falcon"s computers would have be able to get them home, though - in the absence of any hint as to how they ended up here in the first place, I'm guessing that it was some very radical event that sent the "Falcon" and her pursuers wildly off-course.
"I would never argue with someone else's religion" - poor Luke, subject to the assumption that the Jedi are some kind of religious sect whose beliefs are equal and ineffectual as anyone else's! (And poor Picard and crew, if he actually demonstrates those powers... though the title of the story hints more that Guinan may manifest potential...)
| Igenlode Wordsmith chapter 1 . 2/13
My only acquaintance with "Star Trek" is with the novelisations of the original series - so one thing I'm really appreciating in this chapter is the neat way that explanatory detail has been slipped in for the non-fandom-savvy, without seeming artificial. (Always an issue with a crossover story, I imagine, but this one handles it very adroitly: "This is a vessel for peaceful exploration, not a warship" - "the existence of hyperspace is purely theoretical"/"Don't tell them that" - "slapping his insignia to activate the comm-unit" - "He trusted his android third-in-command" (all right, maybe that one is a bit of an infodump...) - "he reminded himself that as an El-Aurian, she was humanoid and not human"- "As Chief of Security, he was responsible for the safety of Enterprise's crew, but the CMO frequently refused to be protected").
There's a real sense of enjoyment and relaxation in the first few paragraphs, even though this section is so short. When events suddenly blow up it's as sharp a change for the reader as for the characters... and it's entertaining seeing their reactions in a universe where hyperspace is unknown!
Guinan, on the other hand, clearly does know something about what's going on, although as the opening section is from Picard's point of view and he has more immediate concerns, we don't yet find out what.
Translating "Millennium Falcon" as "Thousand-Year Hawk" is, of course, funny :-) And suitably misled by Guinan's error of scale in translating the numbers, I for one didn't see it coming...
Having her preserve a file of favourite songs and poetry is a very believable way of providing the universal translator with enough data to analyse (although it would have been amusing if the result had been to render everything into highly poetical terms). I'm assuming that two hundred years is a natural lifespan for one of Guinan's species, rather than a tip-off for further backstory... future chapters will tell.
Picard comes across as a genuinely neutral character in the confrontation (the idea of 'stalling' by getting both parties to hold off their quarrel until a video link can be set up is a good one; unfortunately it doesn't work). I was a bit confused by the multiple Crushers (particularly when one Crusher is ordered to drop shields for transportation and another Crusher immediately reports back), but I gather that this is a canon character thing.
The existence of back-up warships in the offing has been neatly established as a result of the opening paragraphs, and it looks as if they're going to be needed. Dr Crusher's attitude to medical duties in the line of fire is evidently just as robust as Dr McCoy's was!
C3PO and R2-D2 are instantly recognisable (I could really hear the dialogue), but the comedy relief of "the bickering droids" isn't overdone, despite the temptation. R2-D2 in particular is very well characterised for a robot that can't even speak ("A small barrel-shaped 'droid beeped and squealed indignantly
" - "R2-D2 rolled closer to the bed and clicked a mechanical scolding" - "R2-D2 extended a mechanical arm to hold him down"). I was trying to work out what point in the "Star Wars" films the reported injuries were from, but I see from re-reading the intro that the characters are actually from a point somewhat after "Return of the Jedi", so it's not surprising that my scanty canon knowledge failed.
"The Millennium Falcon shook, rattled and rolled" - I appreciated the musical allusion ;-)
So Guinan is very slightly Force-sensitive... and recognises a Jedi when she 'hears' one. This should get interesting!
Critique: I found the references to Dr Crusher by hair colour (especially "the flame-tressed doctor") to be rather disconcerting, as it's something I associate more with romantic novels: it makes more sense that she would look at Luke and think of him as "the blond man", because all she sees is a fair-haired stranger, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of reason to refer to the viewpoint character as "the redhead" other than presumably to avoid calling her by name. In fact just using the name would have stuck out less, I felt.
Points of view: the first section seems intended to be from Picard's point of view and the second from Dr Crusher's, but in both cases the perspective suddenly shifts to Guinan for a sentence or two. On the other hand, in both cases this is being used to convey important information from Guinan's thoughts, so I can see why it's done...
| infiniteworld8 chapter 1 . 10/22/2013
Yes! Brillant! Star Trek and Star Wars cross over, is amazing. We Trekkies have a saying. Star wars fans and Trekkies can get along as long the star wars fans agree Star Trek is better :P
Captain Picard's speech was a little, stilted in the beginning, plus the blocks of dialogue could have uses dome dialogue tags in a few places to break it up a little better. Now on to all the good, and keep in mind I'm a little biased. Guinan was perfectly in character, she truly isn't fazed by anything and due to her background she knows lot more than a lot of people in Starfleet anyway. Your wrote her calm, mysteriousness excellently. The droids on the falcon were in character. All the characters were spot on in my opinion and the plot of this story is a wonderful what if.
Do I need to be any more clear that I'm a fan? I was planning on reading this story during a review competition and ran out of time so I'm reading it now on my own. Love this story, can't wait to read the next chap.
| t-smitts chapter 1 . 7/22/2013
I admit, I'm a bit confused. Is the captain of the Star Destroyer a Mon Calamari? That doesn't really fit with the Empire's reputation of subjugating non-humans.
Other than that, the idea of Luke and co. meeting the TNG crew is intriguing. I'm curious what will happen next. How does Guinan know about the Jedi?
| Great Angemon chapter 4 . 7/9/2013
"There was the sensitive." Admittedly, a bit on the nit-picky side, but this line threw me for a loop. I'd suggest adding person, or one, at the end, just to avoid confusion.
Grau seems like a decent person. Why was he working for the Empire? He treats Luke sort of like a little brother. i especially like the nickname Laddy-buck.
I feel bad for Luke. He doesn't know if there are any other Jedi in the universe, and the only other person he knows that has any training won't go with him to train others. But he needs to realize that she has her own destiny, and it isn't training young Jedi for the rest of her life.
I really enjoyed reading this story. It was very well written (with the few exceptions I've already pointed out).
| Great Angemon chapter 3 . 7/9/2013
Okay, so this chapter had a few things that I noticed. One was the way you put an apostrophe before droids, and other words. I also saw a few words misspelled, like thought, instead of though.
I enjoyed reading the conversation between Data and Threepio. You portrayed him so in character, I don't know if Lucas could have written the lines better.
""It is not necessary to be in perfect health for one's own execution," Jeljurr replied. I thought this line was hilarious. Just saying.
| Great Angemon chapter 2 . 7/9/2013
Oh, goodie, make me sweat. Make me think Han, Leia and Chewie all got exploded.
Okay, um, at the end of ROTJ, I thought Luke was considered a fully-fledged Jedi? If this story takes place after the movie, why is he still being called (and calling himself) an apprentice?
And the Falcon?! You blew it up? That's blasphemy on the highest scale!
But it was a good chapter.
| Great Angemon chapter 1 . 7/9/2013
Okay, so first of all, I never would have thought about this type of crossover, but it makes total sense.
I'm not at all familiar with Star Trek: The Next Generation, but I have an intimate relationship with the original (and prequel) trilogy of Star Wars. I can only give characterization for those then. The main thing that caught my attention, in this field, was Threepio's uncharacteristic lack of formal introduction.
Something I didn't particularly like was the way you said, Lt. Worf, or Dr. Crusher. While it is acceptable, it seems to me like a lazy way around it. It isn't much harder to type out Lieutenant or Doctor.
Overall, I really like this story, so far.
| Captain Zangano chapter 4 . 7/7/2013
Ah, well. That was kind of heart-wrenching to have Luke ask Guinan to teach them so he wouldn’t be the only Jedi all by himself. But Guinan’s refusal and reasons for staying on the Enterprise fit her character.
I like that Grau started to have some grudging respect for the Federation (though maybe it was influence from Beverly and the chocolate strawberries, lol). I’m not sure that it would be enough that he would turn against his own crewmates, and surrender, but I guess maybe he was having second thoughts before, and was impressed by the Federation (or his crush on Beverly and thoughts of chocolate strawberries)?
Over-all, this was a nicely done, in-character and entertaining cross-over
| Captain Zangano chapter 3 . 7/7/2013
I like the humor that you included in this chapter, with Chewie taking a bunch of showers (lol), and Deanna eavesdropping on Luke and Leia’s telepathic conversation, and Riker’s jealousy.
It was also an interesting contrast between the two universes to see how Luke treats Data.
I loved Guinan’s line: I decided a long time ago… that it was not my place to define what was right and wrong for the universe, and then try to reshape the universe to fit what I thought it should be.
It makes sense for a long-lived character to decide that, and fits perfectly with her character.
Minor typo: thatit was not my place
It was also funny to see the soldiers from the Empire fail at diplomacy. I think one of the best lines was: "It is not necessary to be in perfect health for one's own execution," Jeljurr replied.
| Captain Zangano chapter 2 . 7/7/2013
I like that Picard and the others don’t instantly make friends with the Millennium Falcon crew. It makes the story more realistic. Leia understand what’s going on since she has experience with diplomacy.
It’s an interesting situation, with Han, Leia and the others on their own, and trying to figure out what they have to do next, and the crew of the enterprise trying to figure out who these people are. I would have liked to see more with the conversation between Deanna and Luke, but I enjoyed what was there.
Again, another good cliffhanger, with wondering how much Guinan knows that she isn’t telling.
| Captain Zangano chapter 1 . 7/7/2013
First of all - awesome idea to have a cross-over between Star Trek: TNG and Star Wars. (You have no idea how excited I was when I saw the summary for this fic)
Having Guinan be familiar with the other universe was very clever and averted some of the usual cross-over problems that happen. (She could translate, and knew what was going on). It also adds to the plausibility, since Guinanis kind of mysterious and knows about a lot of cultures that the rest of the characters don’t.
The confrontation was plausible since Picard tried to negotiate between the two sides and give medical aid instead of just picking a side.
The dialogue was good and in character, making for an enjoyable read. And the first chapter ends on a good cliff-hanger, making me wonder what experience Guinan has had with Jedi.