|Reviews for The Farm|
| Zeny chapter 1 . 8/2/2012
Good for you Jonathan! Great job with this
| x-Goody2Shoes-x chapter 1 . 1/1/2012
This was absolutely amazing!
You are officially a favourite author... I love all of your works on Crane, you capture perfectly his coldness, and also his more demonic persona as Scarecrow.
But what really struck a chord with me was how you showed he wasn't always that way in this story... you showed us just a snippet of the torture he endured as a child as well as how it has affected him, and how he is no longer the innocent boy he once was.
I especially love how his roles switched - he was the crows' victim as a child, now he is an adult, the Scarecrow, and they fear him. And him burying his humane side, and throwing away him mother's photo - oh, it was all so brilliant!
| lolololabilly chapter 1 . 7/23/2011
Let me start off by saying that your descriptions are FANTASTIC. You'd be hard-pressed to find someone reading your story not be able to SEE in their mind the exact details of what's going on. You describe things so beautifully & with such detail that it TRULY brings your stories to life.
However, there are times when your descriptions are so plentiful that I get distracted by the sights & smells & events that you're describing & I miss the ACTION; what's REALLY going on. This mostly happens during your flashback: flashbacks are more for telling than showing (instead of lengthy descriptions, "get to the point").
I also feel that there should be some hint as to what kind of torment the crows inflict upon Crane: not TOO much to completely give it away, but just a little bit more (maybe he has scars or the picture is torn from the crows pecking at it).
In the second paragraph, the sentence that starts with "The sound is different" & ends with "one he has never heard before" isn't necessary. It distracts from the fact that the crow has spotted Crane. A warning caw is all that's necessary.
During the flashback, when Crane is describing his mother, I feel like there should be more "emotion" attached to his feelings of her. After all, he is only a child during the flashback, so he has yet to be warped into the Johnathon Crane we are all familiar with. Describe his feelings about the circumstances in which she left, or, if she had been absent since his birth, about what he THINKS she must be like.
I love the ending. I am especially partial to the part where you type "He has returned to Keeny Farm to bury Johnathon Crane." There's so much power in that, & the scene I envisioned was just PERFECT to the mood of the story.
As a conclusion: I love the way that you write, & your descriptions are practically perfect. My advice is that you make sure you stick to what your story is ABOUT & know when to cut things short or describe them at length. Overall, this was fantastic. The title wasn't my favorite, but that's just a personal peeve of mine :]
| Jackie Ryan chapter 1 . 7/19/2011
Wow, loved it. The thought of Jonathan being abused by his Granny made me sick to my stomach, but I love the background story of little Crane sitting in the aviary. Great writing :)