|Reviews for Everlasting Fantasy|
| JayLiyah chapter 4 . 3/3/2006
Looks like you didn't get a chance to update after all, hm? I liked the Squinoa parts the most, they were sweet.
| Optical Goddess chapter 4 . 8/13/2002
Aww, again, I mainly read the Squinoa parts. They are so cute and innocent. Duh, I never thought of the flower field either right away!
| The fanatic chapter 4 . 6/7/2002
Another great on writing!
| S Trepe chapter 4 . 6/7/2002
I don't want this to sound mean- and if it does, I apologize- but this story is all over the place. The idea is okay, and so is the plot. However, the characterization is too off and you're breezing through the scenes. I felt like I was trying to read lines of codes running down the screen. You should create more atmosphere, and make it less verbal-centric. I recommend that you find someone to beta read for you. You don't suck. You just need to put more effort into it. Actually play out the scene in your head, imagining every single gesture and feeling of the characters. Dont "And Squall said this" and "Rinoa said that" and "Quistis did this." WHY did Squall say that? Did Squall actually say what he's thinking? Then what is he thinking? What turn of events helped form his opinion in the matter? What was Rinoa's reaction to what he said? Why did she react that way? Once you learn what all goes into a successful story, and you use it time and time again, it becomes second nature. I recommend you read Astraea's work. She writes beautifully without being pretentious. :)
| Nique - Lina chapter 4 . 6/7/2002
Another Great chapter! (this review might be kinda long again...I'll try and limit the size of this one though)
Other than some gramatical/spelling errors,(which I've been advised to forgive/ignore by my fanfic addict friend) this chapter went over really well.
Its hard to stop writing once you get started isnt it? I've had that expirience with some of my writing.(Some of which I may post over the summer!) I would sugest that you go ahead and write a whole chapter as you see it, but then just divide it up and post it as a couple of chapters.
Again, I'm enjoying the fic. keep it up!
| Nique chapter 3 . 6/5/2002
I have to admit this is one of the best fics i've read so far. The charecters personality's, for the most part, remain true to their counterparts in the FF8 game and there is actually a sense of right and wrong in relationship to what the charecters would do in certain situations. it all seems to be accurate.
The reason i talk about 'right and wrong' is because I've read, or rather started reading, too many fics in which squall and rinoa have sex within the first paragraph...or somthing like that. and it just doesnt seem like that remains true to the personalitys of the charecters. I read one when squall and rinoa got drunk and ended up naked in his dorm the next morning... bleh! thats so tacky! (and kinda perverted too...) the rest of the story wasnt so bad, but the start just threw it off so much. anywayz, now im just ranting. lets get back to your story.
Liked it except for a couple of things.
one; an all too easy to make mistake, rinoa has brown eyes, not "crystal blue"
(though perhaps you meant squall and that was simply a typing error)
two; It was a bit too sappy, too many scenes of squall and rinoa making out detracted from the rest of the story. one or two 'very' romantic scenes would have been enough for me.
three; somtimes the descriptions and analogies were a bit over used. it doesnt always need to be stated, what the charecter is to another chaerecter, except in dialog. ( does that make sense? I can give you specific examples later if you want)
I Hope you dont think im being too mean. i really liked your fic, but i just think it has even more potential, with some editing or somthing. so dont mind me if you are saddened/offended by my comments. I'm just rally picky when it comes to my favorite game. your fic is really good.
another GOOD thing about it was that, not only did the charecters show the personality correctly, but i could actually SEE these scenes happining in the game. your story matched the tone and setting very well. also you're moderate use of swears and "obscene language" is definately appriciated, (except for the fact that i dont remeber zell ever saying "shit" in the game, but that wasn't even all that bad) in fact until seifer started swearing, i couldnt, for the life of me, figure out why this fic was rated pg-13. when things are done in good taste (like your fic) it really adds to the quality of the story.
So please let me know when you post the next chapter. I really want to know where you're going with the marrige between squall and rinoa (though we all saw it coming after the game, we still want to know what happens! :) ) ... will there be another disaster? will rinoa fall into another coma? stay tuned for the next excitng chapter! ;) seriously, this is good stuff your writing here. keep it up, and take some of my suggestions (but not too seriously!) if you are so inclined...
Keep up the good work!
| Athena88 chapter 3 . 6/2/2002
Awwwww, this is sooooo sweet! I love this fic! My the way, Rinoa has brown eyes, not blue eyes. Anyway, this is really good! I luv squinoas!
| Optical Goddess chapter 2 . 5/22/2002
Ok, I gotta confess I basically only read the squinoa parts. Sorry! They're my fav. I loved how innocent they were jsut hanging out in the dorm room. It's nice to read something where they didn't jsut jump right in for home base! Ah, young love...
| Squall's angel chapter 2 . 4/19/2002
wowy! this is coming out really interesting, i can't wait to read chapter 3!
| Rinoa Heartilly chapter 2 . 4/18/2002
So Rinoa and Squall are steaming things up huh? *wipes steam off computer screen* *grins wickedly* Not that I mind. Anyway, keep writing, I can't wait for more!
| exhile87 chapter 2 . 4/18/2002
Awww,Squall and Rinoa are so cute!Ya gotta continue!
| K chapter 2 . 4/17/2002
| Angelprinczess chapter 1 . 4/14/2002
Great start! I really liked it...very sweet! Please continue soon!
| Romantic chapter 1 . 4/14/2002
Hi. This fic is very nice. Except, one thing. After periods and commas, you have to put spaces in between. Other then that, it's pretty good.
| Rinoa Heartilly chapter 1 . 4/14/2002
YAY!I love Squinoas!Great story, you kept everyone perfectly in charater!I feel bad for Quistis, everyone has somebody except her. Are you gonna hook her up with Seifer or something? Anyway, continue!