Reviews for Wordhammer's Mad Ideas
Runecutter chapter 6 . 5/6
*whine* why did you do that? I did not need to see/read that */whine*

Seriously i still think they're totally wrong for anything romantic developing between them and JKR has done her biggest mistake by forcing that outcome to her epic cycle, but then it's not really a dealbreaker if I like a story or not, as long as the writing is fine i can survive even that horror, just like having Snape in every second story or Dolores posing for a nude magical painting... *sorry that was unfair as a payback ;)*

Not QUITE what i'd have expected to see if the dementor/horcrux arc continued but a good chock of nice ideas and pleasantly flowing along. I don't get the bit with the ice and i'm sure there would have been interesting ways to use "Petrificus" on either Bob or the smoke-trail apparations (although i dislike how that "idea" turned the fight in the ministry into an aesthetic nightmare with exhaust fumes chasing each other instead of an "interesting" fight but then the fights in visual representation sucked most of the time) or maybe the movie spell "Arresto Momentum" before anybody can "dewraith" themselves as you put it... or if you really prefer slapstick at that point put into concrete blocks up to the neck, encased in yello or glued to the ground. Or maybe a giant conjured beartrap as "touchdown" surprise?
There MUST be a downside to appearing so flamboyantly and color coded as "evil" on a battlefield.

But then... i must admit that bob the slowly floating demented party balloon is growing on me as a character. Reminds me of that one story with the cthulhu like abomination living in the Death Eater Dungeons, was that "Tim"? I think it was... and of course of the story where the trio is sitting in Grimmauld and experiments with summoning parts of Voldi ending with a slightly brainmushed (the "I'm a teapot" song on endless repetition loop makes him SLIGHTLY deluded) Riddle-Balloon,
And those are absolute great comparisons :D Pearls of the crack-genre.
I'd love to see Bob return.

Or maybe Bill can adopt Bob when everything is over... taking him into pyramids to feed off old egyptian horcruxes or so. Kind of going vegan for a Dementor ;)
Runecutter chapter 5 . 5/6
Ohh so he is to be raised by Mad Eye but we still get the whole mess with the Dursleys because Moody can't be bothered to look for help with other aurors that either have children of their own or maybe a widow that did not get to have a kid due to the auror dying too soon or whatever. WHY does this grumpy old bastard put so much stock in Dumbledore and not give a damn why the parents would ask something like that of him without first asking if he'd agree?

TBH I think it would work better if Moody had grudgingly accepted while looking for some solution like having Harry grow up in the Longbottom household with frequent visits from him to keep his responsibility and get the boy accustomed to his future mentor... and then Dumbledore hears about it and meddles with the still bedridden Alastor taking Harry away, obliviating Moody and doing some shifty stuff in the Wizengamot to keep Mad Eye from regaining access to the boy, only to have it explode in his face when Moody has safety measures in place and can find out that he was separated from his memories and that Dumbledore did it to stuff Harry away with those monsters he calls "your family, Harry"...
Runecutter chapter 4 . 5/6
Quite the interesting concept, i start sounding like a defective record, don't I? :D
But I think that if you ever decide to make this working as a whole story you need to change both the order's reaction, this much dumb isn't really believable even for the bunch of old bitter disillusioned men running that show, if you need somebody throwing salt into her deep emotional wounds don't let it be Albus or Moody, they should in theory respect both her person/skills and the decision Harry and her made together. If there needs to be a detractor calling names and giving up all hope it should be Snape or Dung, worthless scum they both are and besides that there should be more background behind the assassination, as it comes a bit out of the left field as it is... why would the goblins want to kill Harry in sixth year?

Any chance to give Harry a free ride ala Spock in Wrath of Khan (secretly) & Search for Spock (openly/retconned) like Tonks staring into his breaking eyes and getting an overload of Harrybrain hitching a ridealong? It might make sense to not reveal that "little fact" to the bigwigs though, so it still WOULD work kind of and could keep a broad alley open for Harry to return. Even if he later decides to not go back, having a chance / Hope at him not being gone would probably be nice.
Runecutter chapter 3 . 5/6
"Obviously I thought this place wasn't depressing enough..." Ehhh yeah sure... Is there any chance Mr Warhammer is named Potter in real life, cause your approach to stories seems eerily similar to Harry's sarcastic quote here :D "i thought this story wasn#t depressign enough therefore i brought more hurt and betrayal to spice things up" ;) SCNR

ooohkay, that was better thane xpected. Loved both the terrorizing the painting and the snuffing off Kreacher bit, don't think I#ve ever seen anything like that done before in a fanfic or even a plot bunny...

that it got Hermione to no longe rhave any positive feelings for Ron is "only" the icing on the cake. Delicious rich chocolate frosting. hmmmmm...

And then you finish off with the Krum frog card... wonderful. Even when Ron is basically living in Cockaigne he still finds ways to hurt himself. (Although as this is seventh year... why is he shocked? There should be cards for all four champions of the most famous wizarding bloodsport that hasn't been around for two centuries. Maybe even for the six kids "winning" the fight in the ministry basement, they're public heroes after all, confronting Voldi and his goons before anybody officially knew about them being back in action... The shock could come from seeing his picture sporting the most retarded look ever while wearing the brain-thing-demon as a hat... Futurama-Style ;))
Runecutter chapter 2 . 5/6
Right at the end she sounds like Yuletide Yesterday... ehh Christmas Past, her ghost that is :P

Going from Harry meeting Dumbledore there are some intriguing possibilities for who this might be... e.g. his mum Merope Gaunt in a form where last she felt okay or maybe Myrtle (Insert your favorite last name for character here, I'd prefer if nobody would use JKRs tongue in cheek mention that she is called Myrtle Elizabeth Warren from a Twitter session, it sounds too much like a joke).
Then of course it's still possible that it's like she said herself, death (sandman style?) fate or some other allegorical figure residing "behind the veil"... but then Voldi would not want to know, would he? Just how he can use her or she can be useful for him.
Runecutter chapter 1 . 5/6
Interesting. Quite "crack-y" but not the worst idea ever. Well not all that funny either, but a small smile it got regardless of the "horrific" theme. ;)

It might even be epic to imagine this Harry walking through Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, towing his icy-cold-fear inducing birthday-balloon behind himself and the magicals jumping to conclusions like always... what a chance to get fascinating Prophet storyheaders... And if Ron insists on being useless once more he gets to hold the dem-loon. They can watch each other to keep out of trouble.
bearblue chapter 6 . 11/4/2015
This just keeps getting better. And weirdly, I actually like Bob. Well done.
bearblue chapter 3 . 11/4/2015
This was... hilarious. Thank you for sharing this.
Zoanzon chapter 6 . 8/14/2015
Ok, Bob the Dementor is my new favorite Harry Potter character. :D
Arla Logan chapter 6 . 4/7/2015
Ha! Brilliant:-D
SablePhoenix chapter 6 . 1/26/2014
Just too darn funny!
SablePhoenix chapter 2 . 1/26/2014
Very cool idea!
CazPeak chapter 4 . 1/6/2014
Wow. Pedophile!Tonks gets the hero killed and makes up for it by taking over his life. I might read that if Stephanie Meyers publishes another Twilight book. With that exception, though, I can't imagine ANY other story wouldn't take priority... and even then, Stephanie might still win out. *shudders*
dragoncreators chapter 2 . 12/4/2013
That's great! I always thought Riddle would have won easily if he just rose through the ranks of the ministry, gaining allies and followers and blackmail along the way, just as he did in Hogwarts... Really, why did he pick Horcruxes? If he became powerful enough, he could have even gotten the philosophers stone! Really, what is the use of living forever if he is to insane to enjoy it? I mean, he has only 0.78125 percent of his soul left! Really, he could have been looked up to as a icon, even better than grindlewald and the Bumblebee combined! He could have gotten away with Genicide, even praised for it! (though then, as each pureblood couple only had 1 child, they would have inbreed themselves to extinction... the REAL cause for squibs - who then were kicked out or killed, then breed with muggles making muggleborns who were then killed... yeah...) So really, Horcruxes were his downfall.
Random number generator chapter 6 . 10/30/2013
Nice chapter, I really liked battle scene - maybe because it was way more chaotic than typical ones, lack of the great masters of magic, really interesting spells and tactics rather that attempting to make somebody awesome by stating that (s)he is powerful.
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