Reviews for Memory
AwesomeMCRFan chapter 4 . 3/12/2013
Erza Scarlet
((If u dont know that name, then search up: fairy tail, on google. its an awesome hilarious anime show.))
((If u DO know, then GREAT! :) ))
newfaceoffail chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
(First of all im super sorry i took forever to comment but promised i would and i am!)

So i read it all and i just completely LOVED it! :D And i also loved how you have killjoys based upon them x). Keep up the good work and ill be off reading some more of your fan fic that im am now hooked on! :D
esmeeeeme chapter 2 . 4/21/2012
Wow, this chapter has so much emotion in it! i love how Party came in, I love it! I'm liking this fic so far. :)))
JDWasabi chapter 4 . 3/3/2012
Oh ho ho! The traitor's name has finally been reviewed! :3

A great action-packed fic here, nice detailing with the 'feel' of the injuries mentioned (from past experiences perhaps? XD). I was wincing at the description of them _;;.

As critique, I think the pacing of Sugar Fiend's rescue could be contrasted a bit more compared to the adrenaline fuelled chase scene and the tension between Renegade and Fiend. I felt a little lost when the other characters came into play a the end, maybe focusing on Fiend trying to tell her comrades who they were chasing before losing consciousness? The contrast between Fiend/Renegade to Fiend/Party Poison would probably have a better impact for the ending.

On the other hand, I could've written absolute bull and not what you were intending as a writer at all XD. Feel free to disregard!

Overall, Memory has been an enjoyable read and a nice introduction to the main characters - Well done!
JDWasabi chapter 3 . 2/11/2012
Dun dun DUUUN!

Wow, great cliff hanger and a great display of different emotions to keep readers entertained. Well done!
JDWasabi chapter 2 . 2/7/2012
Awwrrr ; ;

Love the ending, the pacing in your writing really fitted and it flowed very well in my mind ;D

Nothing really popped out at me for improvements so...well done man! :D

-shot for a short review OTL-
JDWasabi chapter 1 . 1/13/2012
Right. 2nd read through!

I have to admit though that as a total n00b to MCR/Killjoys it was really confusing at first to understand the Killjoy world and the different characters that you've introduced in this chapter; you mentioned 8 so at first I was just like 'ARUGH!" but it's okay now. As this is a fanfic and not intended for n00b readers like moi it's understandable as most FF readers will already know the characters already so.. yerh!

A very nice and well rounded set up, especially for the theme of 'memory'. A few sentences that felt a bit weird when I was reading particularly:

-"Lady Luck damn near had a heart attack when she found out why your brother had come to us so hastily," maybe a slight rewording like "when she found why you scrambled into her office trying to trade off the medication" or something like that. But that's just me and a suggestion .

- "That we were able to escape," a pause. "Well, most of us, that is." I'm not quite sure about writing 'a pause' as when I was reading it read it with the dialogue. Maybe a "that we were able to escape ... "

"Well, most of us, that is" - and have this on a new line for DRAMATIC EFFECT. Actually, I'm not sure.I could be also be talking rubbish ;D.

Other than that, what exactly are:

- Trans-Am engines

- BL/Ind, Korse and the S.A.C.A.R.E.C.R.O.W. Unit? You don't have to explain these in the story; this is just me btw hah.

Oh and: "And don't forget to knock before you enter. Let's not forget the time that Fun Ghoul walked in on her changing. I'm sure you don't want a scalpel thrown at you." - Dahahahahh XD

Anyway, good stuff! A colourful cast of characters with their own little quirks. I'll review the next chapter sometime next week ;D. Well done!
cindella204 chapter 4 . 1/3/2012
The end? B-but...I wanted more! :'( Anywho, you did a great job with this :)

invisible-deity chapter 4 . 9/2/2011
Oh dear sweet Jesus it was wonderful! I loved the fact you only revealed the name right at the very end. The revelation of the twist at the end (Turncoat being the Drac on the bike etc) was nicely done. And nice little hints at future story development with Zombie's dog tags. You are making me really want to write a fic!

The writing style itself was smooth, it flowed like butter, except more hectic. Nothing really stuck out or jarred, everything contributed towards the situation and the action.


Also, 'I happen to like rats!' - WIN!

Emzy2k11 chapter 4 . 9/1/2011
oh please please update soon i cant wait to read the next chapter please hurry i wanna know what happens next
Rellie47 chapter 4 . 8/26/2011
This a great end to the fic! Very dramatic and tense... really can't wait to read the sequel! :D
Rellie47 chapter 3 . 8/26/2011
Very awesome, great cliffhanger at the end!
Rellie47 chapter 2 . 8/26/2011
Very good! And emotional :D Everyone's names still make me giggle though ;)
Rellie47 chapter 1 . 8/26/2011
(Finally got an account)

Well you know my opnion of this from reading it in paper form and from my facebook messages but I may as well bump your review count ;) It's awesome especially after such a long break from writing!
LuckyLiloo chapter 4 . 8/25/2011
I just finished the chapter last night and as promised, I wanted to give you some feedback! :D

I just love the different personalities of the characters, not your ordinary run of the mill ones. Each with their own unique traits, which sets them apart from each other. Which is fantastic!

(I must say I love the reaction of Party Poison when seeing Lady Luck! Did make me giggle!)

...And did you leave chapter 4 like that? *screams* I'm in suspense now!

Keep up the good work! And I shall be looking forward to the next chapter!
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