Reviews for Harry Potter: The Overlord Returns Home
DragonTamer01 chapter 1 . 10/1
I've never heard of or seen Overlord, so I really don't know what to make of this crossover at the moment.
T51b Moridin chapter 3 . 9/24
Hm. I feel like Luna should be it. Hermione even if she cried did do the betrayal. Its kinda punishable with death not marriage. Luna was incredibly scary. She had sex with her dad voluntarily or at least that's what she stated. And etcetera behavior. Though I did love the bit with neville's corpse being a stuffed penguin hahaa. I loved the shifts in tone and how she spoke like she was talking about the weather when stating all the death and depravity she has participated and or done herself. And don't tone it down. Humor and crack is meant to be farfetched as heck.
T51b Moridin chapter 2 . 9/24
Lmfao. I don't see why he won't eat the damn orb. It likely does something to ya but so what. Oh and the whole idea of getting all the memories of the previous overlords...what if they were like thousands of years old? wouldn't such a massive influx of memories make you cease to be who you were before you died? Hell that might be a good thing. You'd essentially become a conglomeration of the most powerful dark beings ever making you stronger each time a new host appears. Then that would mean the sphere is really the reconstituted soul of the first overlord that takes over the souls of each following overlord. Oh how deliciously evil.
T51b Moridin chapter 1 . 9/24
This story already has my attention. Loved the photo montage. So badass.
Grand Witch Alliance chapter 23 . 9/23
This story is was actually pretty amusing at first, and is still amusing in its later chapters, but it seems to start getting repetitive. Like, it's sort of very obvious what kind of it going to happen next obvious, but just takes longer to happen. Still I quite liked most of it, even if the lack of emotions on most of Harry's slaves makes some parts boring.
Yami-Guy chapter 19 . 9/18
The little preview for the future at the end there gives me high hopes for the long as the Overlording continues evil will find a way!
tryan9878 chapter 12 . 8/23
why didnt he use his halo shield, its invincible here, he could have just stood there
tryan9878 chapter 1 . 8/23
alright im in, this is hype
Bobmin356 chapter 20 . 7/18
A couple of points to be noted.

1) DO NOT INCLUDE "previews" of stories that you aren't publishing in a story you're currently still working on. It implies that you're not giving this story the attention it deserves and DOES nothing else except inflate your word count.

Including this stuff is just disrupting the flow of your chapters. It's like a mental sneeze and doesn't belong in the chapters.

2) The whole relationship angst is really getting old. It's not funny, and not particularly relevant to the storyline. As it stands I find myself paging down over large sections that I'm not interested in. What I am interested in is what Harry is doing back in England. At this point just because you've turned her into a whiny B*tch I wouldn't mind seeing Hermione droned and pushed off the stage so we can get back to the real story. One thing I can promise you, if I'm paging down through the angst, I can assure you so are other people. I'm just not afraid to point it out to you.

3) Dumbledore. Is he dead? Senile? Ignoring all the mayhem that seems to be centered around him? My point is you have practically ignored him throughout this story. We know more about what Robards is thinking than we do about Dumbledore, and yet he is so pivotal to the story.

Technically your writing is very good. There are few grammar or spelling errors. The storycrafting is starting to bog down in my opinion. But that's only my opinion, which you can ignore. Reviews and opinions are only worth the paper they are printed on and since no one prints out these things, well now you know what a review is really worth.
Ciarle chapter 23 . 7/9
third time reading, still love it
nushadir chapter 23 . 7/7
You know, it's kind of strange, but this is first "dark HP" story that I liked. Especially when it's a crossover (very few of crossovers are decent enough to read). More especially, when it's a crossover with Overlord - all Overlord fics that I tried to read before were just excuses for porn and gore. And your story, while implying these porn and gore, shown almost none of both - and this is good.
I must commend you - you solved the problem with too big harem quite gracefully. Most writers simply shed all personalities and characters of harem girls because of laziness or inability to write those. On other hand, your Harry just destroyed their identities - and this kind of solved a problem.
Didn't you think about tying killings of Wizards to Sins - like in original Overlord? If you did, who would you choose for every Sin?
Will Luna understand that Blaize is a guy?
About "ephemeral Book II" - so far I think that you wrote about Harry-Raziel, not Harry-Overlord. IIRC, Overlords doesn't eat souls - but I can be wrong about it.

Best regards, nushadir
conan.lagace chapter 23 . 6/10
Hahahahaha oh gods yes, I love this story! Good job!
Can't wait for the update
pallendin pie chapter 23 . 5/31
The fact that you did not say if the sole is in haven or hell is a bit of a head scraecher but all toled good one.
Selacha chapter 23 . 5/21
Holy... That was so awesome! Please update soon!
zeek17 chapter 23 . 3/28
I think you have been a bit too harsh on Harry's parents. Personally I'd prefer them to be not ardent supporters of Dumbledore, but reluctant ones. Like, 'we do not like it, but prophesy was made and it will fulfil itself one way or another. And while Albus was in wrong, you've gone too far' kind of stance.
Well, whatever. It's your story to write. Hope to see you soon!
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