Reviews for The Wizard and the Lonely Princess |
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![]() ![]() ![]() soy español y he tenido que leer tu historia con el traductor, pero me ha encantado, lastima que no la séquela quedase abandonada, he tardado 1 día en terminarme la historia eso debería dejar claro que me ha encantado |
![]() ![]() ![]() So close to the truth and yet so, so far away from it |
![]() ![]() ![]() I swear half of the spells Harry is learning sound like their coming straight out of DnD |
![]() ![]() ![]() Labyrinth reference yes thank you I love it. |
![]() ![]() ![]() To answer your question nightmare, TWILIGHT ‘glitter-butt’ SPARKLE |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well that was a blast. I’m almost motivated to look at a My Little Pony movie! Thanks for sharing the story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love your story far more than I thought I would when I experimentally read chapter 1 because an author I liked had it in their favorites list. I can generally suspend disbelief and just enjoy the universe, until this had me unintentionally laughing at your naïveté: “Unlike many animals, Ponies do not truly have what you would call natural weapons outside of horns for a Unicorn and those are not suited to be used as such.” A friend of mine is a pain management doctor and she said one of the most dangerous animals is a horse. They can unintentionally injure a person in life changing ways and when intentionally trying to hurt you can easily kill a person. She has a client who is missing an arm at the shoulder from when a stallion was pissed that the guy was trying to take him away from the mare and reached over and literally tore his arm off in the process of throwing him around like a rag. She has a person with a permanent hoof print in his chest from a horse that kicked out at him from a standstill, a guy with a barely functional leg after several surgeries from getting kicked in the shin...that doesn’t include falls, crush injuries from the horse just not noticing the person until it was too late, etc. Overall it’s a good thing horses are as docile and willing to cooperate as they are or we would have never got them to help build our world! But thanks for a great story so far. I really am having fun reading it in my spare time. |
![]() ![]() ![]() My thirst for FanFiction is unquenchable! Unless I’m just thirsty for water... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nicely done! I love a crossover that works out. Thank you for writing this. |
![]() ![]() Will Harry be meeting the Mane six at any point? |
![]() ![]() Is this a Dumbles bashing fanfiction? |
![]() ![]() ![]() How did Myrtle wake Harry up if his spirit is off on the moon when he's asleep? |
![]() ![]() ![]() the two big issues I have with this story (and feedback) so far are: 1) lack of scene separation. The entire chapters are written as one big lump, with no scene seperstion, which makes it difficult to identify mini-timeskips. For example, I had to reread the part where Nightmare found Fluffy for the first time, to realize that the conversion only continued on the moon. A scene break there would make it much more readable. 2) lack of POV consistency. I don't know what is the official term for this, but when I refer to that, I mean that when a scene is written under a certain POV, the only information revealed in that scene is information they is visible to the POV character/s. In my experience this does wonders to immersion in the story. Examples are the flying lesson chapter, when the POV switches to Hooch and back unannounced. While it's not absolutely necessary under every circumstances, it greatly helps in most cases. A smaller complaint is about compelty not bothering going into the magic system, but that could just be me being a major fantasy/sci-fi mechanics nerd. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Merry not happy |
![]() ![]() ![]() I keep cracking up randomly while reading this imagining a nightmare moon muppet. |