Reviews for If You'd Said Yes
Anon chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Well written, I liked the way you portrayed all three characters. I really like your writing style - simplistic and to the point, but it works. Especially in this fic.
Mariagoner chapter 1 . 11/21/2011
Fantastically written, and so wonderful at capturing both Junpei's character and Minako's sharp, bright warmth. And Yukari is also so perfectly characterized! What a fantastic piece of work.
Shenjay chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
This is one of the biggest tearjerkers I've read in quite a long time. Magnificently written, as well.

Great job with the characters, I feel that they all would really act like that.

Keep up the great work.
EmptyGo-Gone chapter 1 . 8/2/2011
That was lovely. Simply...wonderful and lovely. I loved it. ]
Jonaleepuff chapter 1 . 7/26/2011
Beautifully written. Everything about this made my heart ache (in a good way of course).

I look forward to reading more of your work!
Pathetic Apathy chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
... There's something about this that just strikes a cord with me. Your style is blunt at times, but then it's tasteful, and... and... D: Why do I fail at saying why I love this? All I can say is that Bropei is perfect here.
suereya chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
Excellent! You've rendered me speechless with the humors and the witty lines.

And the flow of your writing is just well-executed. There's no need for long or wordy descriptions because reading through it, I can immediately get into the emotions of the characters and visualize the scenes.

"He holds up a fist for her to pound, and even if the phrase is worn and used and empty, he means it down to his core when he says, "Bros for life."

She smiles, and he knows she understands."

Upon reading this, my heart aches and a bitter smile cross my face :')
Rayless Night chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
My reviews are going to become redundant if I keep talking about your fluid prose, unique touches of both humor and angst, and how well you explore these characters. Reading fics like this is such a treat.

Special love to August and September. As for more specific praise, I like Junpei's different moods - protective (?) casualness with Minako, a sort of proud adoration for Chidori, and his complicated relationship with Yukari, both insecure and patronizing, yet he's coming closer to the truth about her.


Typos, lots of them: incorrect/missed words, verb tense agreement, and incorrect punctuation around dialogue tags.

OOC - Junpei admiring Chidori's scars. The game makes it clear they upset him. I realize "ache" doesn't mean admire, but the favorable/unfavorable comparison between Chidori and Yukari seems to suggest it.

"great and terrible knowing in her eyes...bitter courage" - This feels hollow. I think it would work better if you described her before coming to the conclusion.

Similarly - "heartbreakingly mussed sheets" - the mussed sheets are great, but the adverb makes it look like you're forcing your point. "He hears her resolution." makes no sense and, again, feels very stated.

In general, I think this could be tightened. For instance, funny as it is, do we really need all that byplay with Minako and Akihiko?

end crit.

Another excellent fic. One of the best characterizations I've seen of Junpei, exploring his strength without losing sight of his playfulness, vulnerability and flaws. Yukari is harsh, often distant, but once she cares, she isn't going to let him give up. She may have more in common with Chidori than I previously thought.
Greykeys chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
I really liked this.

It gives off a serene feeling, pure. I can't really explain but that's just how I felt after reaching the end. I hope to see more from you.
meowfactory chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
This is wonderful. I love your phrasing ("the slight and brittle tilt of her shoulders" in particular sits very well for me). I want to say more but I have nothing productive/constructive except for 'this is awesum', so you know. This is awesum.
azurelegance chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
I smiled as soon as I saw your name in my inbox XD Yay, new fic! Yay, a Persona fic! *and the pairings

You wrote everyone so in character. It's so believable.

Also, I loved the hint of Akimitsu in the middle. That's what I love about Akimitsu... it's very subtle :)

And although I know how the game ends, I couldn't help but feel depressed at the end.

Loved this fic, as usual.

acronymed chapter 1 . 7/20/2011
you just killed me ; these three are my OT3 of friendship for life, man. and yukari/junpei ! secret otp that never was.

the idea of akihiko sweaty and dragging minako around everywhere best thing that ever happened to my brain.

ALSO, "bros for life" is officially minako/junpei's catchphrase Bb

so yeah, this was perfect.