Reviews for Decisions and Revisions
UnpredictablyRandomOne chapter 1 . 7/20/2014

Oh, Billy. Sweet, caring Billy. This was a punch to my heart! He was willing to sacrifice himself for his team but thankfully he didn't die. Thank you.

I can't even imagine the hurt the others would have felt if he'd died. I refuse to think about that so let's just talk about how awesome Billy is.

He's awesome.

This was great as always!
Tohda chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
Another great fic! :D I like the plot, the thoughts you placed in this story, the way the characters reflected on the situation and how the other would feel... very nice.
Lena chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
' "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time," Billy admits, a little sheepish.

"So did disco," Casey points out sharply. '

...I'm pretty much soda came out my nose when I read this. XD

Touching, poignant, at times funny and at times heartbreaking: loved it.
TheElrohir chapter 1 . 7/22/2011
This is definitely my favorite Chaos fic so far...The storyline was good, and I could hear each character in my head...Awesome job! You really need to write more! :)
fearlessgoddess2 chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
Gorgeous story. Absolutely awesome and heavy with emotion the entire way through. I couldn't stop reading. Great job.
Fenris5000 chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
WOW! I am so glad you are writing for CHAOS! Super Job!
Shakespeare's Lemonade chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
Yet another great story. I love how you get into the characters' heads and show us their motivations. I think you write the characters so well that even though I don't identify with Michael very well, I found myself enjoying his parts as much as Billy's. Awesome job!

SophieSaulie chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
OMG, you KNOW how much I LOVED this maximum h/c on steroids for Billy! My gosh, I flinched, I sobbed because of Billy's heroics and sacrifice and then Michael doing the "no man left behind" with Billy! It had EVERY ingredient I LOVED! Talk about your lovely read! Billy is such a wonderful character! Thanks for sharing it with me pre-post knowing I'd love every minute. You so know me so well!

Fave parts:

Billy's not moving in the seat. His head is tipped back, blood running freely from his nose and mouth. The door is smashed into him, caving into his lanky body at odd angles. There are fresh blood stains on Billy shirt and a growing patch at his neckline from a weeping head injury. It's hard to see his leg, which is still stuck beneath the steering column, but when he reaches down to feel where the metal ends and Billy begins, the entire pant leg is drenched.

It's impossible to tell the extent of the damage - in fact, it's pretty hard to tell if Billy's still alive or not. But ultimately, it doesn't matter. Michael's not leaving a man behind, and he's not going to leave Billy to be blown up, alive or dead.

Michael's mind is made up, because Billy's not the only stubborn, self-sacrificial bastard of the group. They're getting out of this - together - or they're going down once and for all.

-JUST AWESOME! This line:

Billy's not the only stubborn, self-sacrificial bastard of the group.

SO GREAT! I can so believe it! HE SO IS! And just proved that!

People are defined by their decisions. It's not their beliefs, it's not their goals. It's what they do.

Billy left one country, disgraced and alone. When he leaves this one, he wants it to be heroic and respected.

Though, really, in the end, he's always going to be alone. It's the nature of the game. The sad truth of his life. He can make a thousand friends but none of them will ever know him beyond the guises. Those few who come close are the ones he'll die for, the ones he'll leave behind when there's nothing left.

And there's nothing left.

Just pain and darkness. The taste of blood in his mouth and the stench of gasoline.

Billy can't remember the specific, but the specifics don't matter. The ins and outs of the mission are irrelevant. The salient, resounding question is if the rest will be okay.

Langley can arrange new missions, but they won't find another Michael Dorset, Casey Malick, and Rick Martinez. They won't be able to replicate the ODS. Billy doesn't think of himself as fighting for a foreign land, but fighting for his friends.

This is all there is. When everything is stripped away, this is all there is. Billy likes drinking and he likes women and he likes seeing the world, but the only thing that redeems him is this.

After all, there is no greater love than this: that a man should lay down his life for his friends.

Billy can't count himself as a true believer in much - at least not anymore - but he's a true believer in this: his life can be measured in each moment, so he'll make them count.

He hurts, though, and he takes a struggled, hindered breath and feels himself faltering.

In the end, all he can hope is that he made this one count after all.

- THIS WHOLE MOMENT of Billy's thought process, MAGICAL! I SO SOBBED at the resignation you have here as well as the determination of his decision. Not enough adjectives to tell you how much I LOVED this and how you nailed Billy's vulnerability in this moment.

That makes it awkward work, and Michael can feel Billy's blood warm on through his clothes and the hot, shallow breath against his neck. So it's not a lost cause - not yet.

There's a rattle from outside and a fresh hiss. He's running out of time.


Down lower, it's clear to see that Billy's leg is a mess. It's broken, a shaft of bone sticking through the blood-soaked leg. His foot is turned at an odd angle, still trapped under the caved in dash.

-*OUCH and *flinch and *hiss!

Billy attempts another strangled breath, his body bucking desperately this time.

This is how it is, though. Billy's life has been on a collision course with an unknown fate for as long as he can remember. He's always wondered why things happen the way they do, why he ends up in the places he does.

This time, he thinks, this time he may finally find out.


Michael almost wants to smile. How Casey manages to threaten allies without ever uttering a word of peril is a skill unto itself.

-HILARIOUS assessment of Casey and SO true!

From this angle, it's easy to see the ragged breaths as Billy labors. Casey has been busy, it seems. Billy's leg is straightened and wrapped in a bulky bandage. There's another compress tied tightly to Billy's head.

Still, Billy looks more dead than alive. The blood is stark on his pale features, staining him from head to toe. His face is hardly recognizable on the left side and his shirt is in tatters. Despite the thick bandages, Billy's leg is awash with red.

- *ouch again! You're way too good at these descriptions. Hahaha!

Casey frowns under the scrutiny. "What?" he asks, cocking his head. "You think you and Collins are the only two sacrificial heroes of the group?"

Michael shrugged a little. "I was sort of hoping," he admits.

Casey shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Well," Casey says, and he tries to sound annoyed but Michael can trace the fear. "Let's just hope it pays off."

-Another GREAT Casey moment!

The problem with the right thing is that it's not always the best thing. Sometimes doing the right thing means the wrong results. Sometimes the right thing is the hardest thing.

Sometimes the right thing costs you everything you have.

Billy's always done the right thing, regardless of his own well being. Usually it turns out okay.

Sometimes, missions go wrong and people die. Sometimes, he gets decommissioned and deported.

Sometimes, he ends up barely breathing and hanging onto life by a thread.

It's funny, though. This hanging on. It doesn't feel as terrifying as he thinks it should. It doesn't even feel that different. He's just aware of it. As if he's always hanging on but just hasn't realized it until the precipice beneath is dark and yawning, almost begging him to come home.

And that's tempting. Billy's been without a home for long enough to want such things. He misses his friends and his family; his misses his flat and his job. He misses football - real football - and a right cold ale on a warm summer's night.

But it's an illusion. The darkness will no more take him back than anything else he tries to do. He can work hard and he can sacrifice, but the past is something he can't undo.

Not for the life of him.

Casey will take it hard. For all his sour demeanor, the human weapon is softer than the rest of them. Casey trains to avoid failure not because he's some inhuman automaton but because he's more human than the rest of them deep on the inside and he doesn't know how else to cope.

It will test Rick's confidence. He's still too new to this. He knows the risks and horrors of the job, but he doesn't know the reality like the rest of them do. He hasn't seen someone die because of him; he hasn't done everything right just to have it fall apart anyway. These are the things that change a good and brave man into a true and hardened spy. It's how human weapons and paranoid bastards are made.

Michael will take it hardest. Michael knows the potential for failure better than the rest of them. And Michael will know what Billy did and he will blame himself, no matter how much it's not his fault. It's one more drop in the bucket and Billy doesn't know how much more loss-driven-paranoia one man can carry and still call himself sane.

But it's the best option, Billy thinks. Maybe not the only one, but it's the best one. They'll recover, because Billy's tried fighting. He's tried fighting and he's tired. Maybe it's time for giving in.

Still, it seems like letting go should be easier than hanging on, but in Billy's life, the simple things are never quite what he expects them to be.

- Another section that COMPLETELY DESTROYED ME! SO LOVED THIS! There are just no words other than I JUST could imagine so easily Billy going through this "assessment", this evaluation of his situation, his life, his choices, his feelings for his team whom he considers family and whom he cares so much for that he's willing to die for them. OY!

The medic mumbles under his breath while his colleague continues compressing the air pump pressed over Billy's face. The first sits up on his knees, arms straight as he positions himself over Billy's now-bare chest. They'd cut off Billy's clothes within the first few minutes.

- Okay, admission here, I was torn between being concerned and enjoying the lovely image of a bare-chested Billy. Doesn't happen often enough.

Next to Michael, Casey is so stiff that Michael thinks he could shatter at any moment. Rick is trembling so hard that Michael thinks he might fall down.

He knows now. They all know now. They're a working set, one piece as strong as the rest. If one stops working, then the entire thing is apt to fall apart.

At the very least, the entire thing will be broken, maybe irreparably.

- Again, GREAT descriptions! I mean you can feel the tension, the panic all expressed differently by each man.

Rick smiles. Casey smirks. Michael meets his eyes and says, "Don't let go. Keep fighting."

There's a fresh burst of pain and his vision dims. He wants to hold their eyes, but he can't. He can't quite hold onto consciousness, but that's not the fight that matters. A great man will die for his friends; maybe the best among them will live for them, too.

Even as the pain grapples at his awareness, Billy thinks that's a fight worth figuring out. Some things are inevitable, but some things are still a matter of choice, and if Billy's
AZGirl chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
I love how your version of a pick-me-up for someone is to write a story where you hurt all your characters, almost killing them - LOL! Really enjoyed reading this angst fest - thought is was great!