Reviews for When Balance Fails
Whitetree-Nimloth chapter 5 . 8/22/2012
This is incredible! I love the tension, and all the political intrigue- I can't wait for what happens next!
Maran Zelde chapter 5 . 7/15/2012
Interesting chapter. I'm eager to see what Mai is like in this dark AU. How will she react to Zuko's proposal, and would she be receptive toward Zuko's cause?
readsmanyfavsfew chapter 5 . 6/19/2012
Maran Zelde chapter 4 . 6/9/2012
You definitely did Sokka justice in this chapter! I'm sorry I ever doubted you. The action scene was well-written, and I love how Sokka kicked ass. Granted, this Sokka is different from the pun-loving, only slightly cynical teen in ATLA, but the change is believable considering he lost his sister and all of his dearest friends.

And I love how the Black Sword has become legendary! My headcanon is that Sokka either found the original Space Sword after he lost it, or he made a new one (it was a huge meteorite, after all).
Jiraiya's Disciple chapter 5 . 5/26/2012
I don't read Avatar stories. For the past few years I have been religiously reading Naruto and Harry Potter stories. I think, that after reading this, I'm gonna start reading Avatar stories. This is how good it is.
RealityIsAStateOfMind chapter 5 . 5/23/2012
I really hope you are planning in continueing this story... Only 5 chapters in and this is already one of those stories that makes you want to read as fast as you can yet has you dreading the end... Hope to see another chapter soon.
Maran Zelde chapter 3 . 5/4/2012
I have no complaints about this chapter. The build-up to the Agni Kai was skillfully written, as was the duel itself. I felt sorry for Colonel Lao even though he was asking for a smack down. Poor sap had no idea what he was walking into.

I was pleasantly surprised when Zuko remembered that Sokka had developed a method for nonbenders to fight firebenders. Can't wait to see what Sokka does in the next chapter.
Maran Zelde chapter 2 . 4/22/2012
Thanks for taking my criticism well. I can see how Katara would inspire hope in the people, though I'm still not sure that the Resistance would die with her. Katara has elemental powers, and she's a natural giving inspirational speeches. But she can't plan and strategize as well as Sokka. I could easily imagine the siblings co-leading. I could also imagine Katara being the "face" of the Resistance, while Sokka advises her behind the scenes. Sokka knows that his opponents underestimate him, and he uses this to his advantage (see The Library: "You're not very bright, are you." "Bright enough to fool you.")

You did Sokka justice in showing how he matured and hardened in the war-torn world. He hasn't given up at all. I am glad I kept reading.

Something I noticed in the story so far is the lack of hybrid animals. When I read in chapter 1 that Zuko ate pork, I thought, in paraphrase of Katara, Surely you mean pork-beef. A few hybrid animals here and there would make the fanfic feel more true to the Avatar verse. Sokka's horse should definitely be an ostrich horse - we've never actually seen a straight horse on the show.
DamionKenley117 chapter 5 . 4/21/2012
Oh, the beautiful, beautiful sight of a dark fanfiction story. Nothing like a case of the good guys lost to brighten up your day.
Maran Zelde chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
Your narrative style is good; I can tell you're a competent writer. And this is an interesting scenario. However, so far it's playing out in a way that doesn't make sense to me.

Sokka is my favorite character, so what I'm about to write will be colored by my bias toward him. It seems to me that you are giving Katara too much credit and not giving Sokka enough credit. The Resistance kept going when the freaking Avatar was killed, but it fell apart when Katara was slain...Why? Why is Katara more important than Aang? I would think that Katara's death would just give Sokka even more motivation to end the war - either by assassinating the Fire Lord or through some other means.
FranticHamster chapter 5 . 4/15/2012
propose marriage to his sisters only friend that is just evil thanks for the update
tarrisse chapter 5 . 4/15/2012
very nice. Im interested to see how you're going to depict mai in this story, whether a serial killer or a girl in love or both really. Is she raisinf her brother now? good chapter and keep up the good work.
BlueLion chapter 5 . 4/15/2012
Has been worth a bit of waiting - great development - I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
ArrayePL chapter 5 . 4/15/2012
The story is really dark, adult but very good. I curious if they will succeed to take down Azula and Ozai. Oh and Sokka will meet Zuko in Omashu?
Lord Lelouch chapter 5 . 4/14/2012

I can really see how painful it is for General Brant to accept the fact that Zuko was the reason his wife and children died and to accept Zuko as his leader ( even if only ) until Azula is dead.

Also its interesting to see the kind of reputation Mai possesses in the Fire Nation, though I believe Zuko just might be better in stealth than Mai is(he was the blue spirit after all).

Anyways I doubt that Mai took the death of her father at the hands of Azula lightly. She may after all seem cold and unfeeling but she does seem to care about her family deep down.

Anyways, I can't wait to see the interaction that will occur between Zuko and Mai (I've always been a Maiko fan) as well as the interaction between Zuko and Sokka once they meet.

Please update soon.
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