|Reviews for Apple Bloom's Family|
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 10 . 11/6/2015
Applebloom: "Wether they're bankers or rock farmers or... or if my pa is Cousin Braeburn and my ma's an outlaw, I dunno."
AJ: Actually, Applebloom... that's the one that's true, 'n'... I'm the outlaw...
Okay, I had my fun. Now to be real, here. This story was REALLY touching, and I deeply enjoyed it. The reason why I found this in the first place was because I was making a family tree of the apple family, and I pondered on this one time when I was told that Applebloom was ADOPTED because AJ said that Babs Seed was HER cousin, not OUR cousin.
So, with interest, I googled it to dig deeper into it. The least I could find was this fic, so I dug right in... and there was no regret. This story turned from research to fun as I read chapter after chapter.
Out of the two stories, I enjoyed Applejack's and Orange Counter's the most. The incest (after all this time I have a word for it!) had me confused, but of course I eventually learned to just 'hang your hats and your taboos'.
The story had great emotion to it, and made it greatly suitable for an uplifter. I love the new and creative idea of Applebloom trying to find out about her parents, and Scotaloo & Sweetie Belle making separate Fanfiction-worthy stories. I love the deeper creativity in there, the main thing that comes to mind is trying to show the difference between AJ and Mac now and back then.
Well, Big Mac more, really. I'm not too sure about AJ. I guess this story does lack the ability to explain things on it's own and not have the characters explain it, considering that I didn't have time to figure out Mac's different character and had Scots explain it.
Then again, it's too hard of a thing to notice considering we barely see Mac in the show and it's up to the fics to have him centred. (Having Mac dress as an ugly mare doesn't satisfy... mostly; different topic to write long about) And I need SOMETHING to complain about besides minor grammar errors... oh, there are minor grammar errors, by the way.
Anyway, I wish I got more, but that's all I got. It was touching, and worth a second read. I can't wait to see your story on FIMfiction, and the side stories you talked about.
'Till then, I'll see ya on the next story!
-All My Best,
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 9 . 10/28/2015
Chalk and her husband kinda remind me of Anakin and Padme. I've been watching Star Wars: The Clone Wars, and there are things the extended universe covered that the movies didn't touch, so you probably won't get it right away even if you seen the movies.
You see, in the show, Padme had some kind of negotiation related shenanigans she had to do with another guy. That guy had a thing for her, and clearly wanted to make a movie. It got Anakin on ease, and eventually he caught him attempting to kiss her. It didn't end well.
Basically, Anakin ended up in a fist fight with him and beat the stuffing out of him. Then, in Episode 3, Padme died when giving birth; like Chalk.
So, with this in mind, it makes me wonder; is Anakin abusive to Padme, or was Chalk's husband lost himself that moment and would of apologized if he had the chance? It makes me wonder how much more Chalk lied about.
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 8 . 10/1/2015
Cliff is one hell of a liar, isn't she? I dunno. Here's a real think I need to ask:
"I'm just a little shaken up still. I've had such a fun time thought, Pinkamena - I'd forgotten how wonderful your parties were!"
I've been wondering how the dashes are used in sentences, especially in sentences like these. Tell me, how am I suppose to put dashes in the middle of sentences like you do? I thought that is used before a listing of things.
"Let's see what we got- bread, butter, milk, eggs, and lettuce. Yup, seems legit."
But then again, that dash is used ON the word 'got-' and not in between. 'got - bread'. Again, how does that work?
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 7 . 9/9/2015
Is Chalk's 'old fashioned' talk the narration spoke of is suppose to be like how Luna talks from the classical era?
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 6 . 8/23/2015
Yes, get on with it...! Wait... that's the end of the chapter...? Ohhhh no fair! xD
"Are you prepared for a tale of woe? asked the pegasus filly, pitching her voice unusually low.
Perfect rhyme there, buddy!
Is Chalk suppose to be Lauren Faust?
-All My Best,
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 5 . 8/15/2015
"Orange Counter, I'm pregnant."
Sweetie Belle, what are you saying?" demanded Apple Bloom, rising to her hooves. Applejack can't be pregnant! She just can't be! It don't make any sense!"
Sweetie Belle swallowed nervously and shrank back in her seat, wonderin if she'd let her imagination go too far.
Me: ... oh...
I loved it. It was heart warming, and it fits character and all the other stuff... wait, this isn't the end? Scotaloo has a theory...? Welp, you'll be seein' me in the next chapter!
-All My Best,
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 4 . 7/17/2015
'Hang your hats and taboos' I was told. And boy howdy did this do just that. I was betting in my mind about AJ and Orange Counter, but then the cousins thing made me doubt, and double tripled checked to see if some how they technically weren't.
Don't get me wrong, I love those two. You managed to have me hooked, and showed the Orange was a pretty cool guy... maybe a bit too Flash Sentry, maybe. I dunno, maybe we're gonna see him screw up and show his flaws-
'- and THEN what happened?'
Oh... never mind...
(why was Scots interested? The moment Sweetie would mention touching hooves Scots would already be disgusted!)
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 3 . 7/15/2015
'Before she closed her eyes, she reached out and drew out her favorite stuffed dragon onto bed with her, cuddling up to it as she drifted to sleep.'
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 2 . 3/2/2015
Gosh, now the CMC are lookin' in AJ's mail... that won't end well... anyway, great chapter!
First off, I noticed how in this one Applebloom said it was Diamond who said the things about her parents, but I checked the first chapter and saw no changes... from the very beginning I admit. I'll check later.
Anyway, as usual everyone is in character, and the logic seems to fit the bill. The backstory for AJ's cutiemark didn't show just HOW uncomfortable she was, but I can imagine her pain about Manehatten just the way it was in your chapter.
But now that I'm thinking about that, something about that bothers me. I checked the date this was made, and now I know not the blame you for not thinking Rarity Takes Manehatten, which was made in 2014 while yours was made in 2011. But still, the writers of that episode really should have considered some things for AJ. Besides, Manehattan was first invented in The Cutiemark Chronicles in AJ's cutiemark story, right?
But seriously, Rarity Takes Manehatten has nothing to do with this. Your chapter was good, and how AJ acted about Manehatten was a lot better than in Rarity Takes Manehatten (where they basically pretend AJ never even WENT in the first place...)
You did good, and besides the fact that the chapters are short so far, it's basically perfect.
See ya' on the next chapter!
This is been DrWhoFan611;
| Leonardo Oliver Osborn chapter 1 . 2/10/2015
The first thing I want to mention that REALLY bothers me is the fact that Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara kinda' swept roles. I'm sure your not as sensitive to details and watch as much Analysis videos as I do, which might explain why you think Diamond and Silver are both basically the same. Yes, they're similar and both do the same things, but the difference between them is; A: Diamond always talks first, and Silver follows along, and B: Diamond had some scenes and even an episode that at least has her as a bit part of a plot, while Silver is ONLY seen with Diamond.
According to a theory made by Brony Notion; Diamond is the fully heartless and spoiled one, the real bully, and Silver just follows along. The only reason why they are friends in the first place (and because - just as I had said before - Silver is ONLY seen with Diamond Tiara, she might be Silver's only friend) is because they are the two only rich-Fillies in Ponyville, their parents probably hang out so much that they themselves had became friends.
With Diamond being the first one to talk EVERYTIME the two of them bully a Foal and Silver just rather repeating what Diamond said in agreement or adding something, it shows that Silver is the sidekick. So really, it's more likely that Diamond would insult Applebloom's Mother and Silver apologize for it than the other way around.
Now, we all have a different perspective, so if you like it better the way it originally is, then so be it. I'm just saying that - in my opinion - Silver has the kind heart... compared to Diamond Tiara.
Now that I'm done going over that minor little detail, I'll share my other thoughts; there are just a few grammar errors here and there, a bit small and, again, a few. And the story itself is quite interesting. I myself am getting into the theory of Applebloom being adopted by Applejack and Big Mac, the evidence that convinces me is the fact that Applejack talked about Babs Seed, she said 'YOUR cousin' and not 'OUR cousin'. I will be reading more soon, and you will be seeing more of me. I hope that my review has been helpful.
See ya' on the next chapter!
This is been DrWhoFan611;
| Guest chapter 10 . 8/7/2014
This was the best story was so touching at some parts and almost made me cry. I loves this story and can't wait to find out more. I actually stayed up to 3:00 in the morning just to finish this chapter!
| Jade pony chapter 10 . 5/19/2014
I loved this story as it incorporates a large array of emotions that are felt by the subject herein and the readers.
Thank you very much.
| kelsey chapter 1 . 3/4/2014
| Katie chapter 1 . 12/15/2013
Its was really good! :)
| Rainbow guy chapter 10 . 10/9/2013
Not gonna lie this took me 4 and a half hours straight to finish but it was worth it. Great story man