I SHIP JAZPER!

That "nu" for some reason reminds me of Voldemort's Nyeaaaah. Just saying.
That was anticlimactic. Even more so than when they just end mid story.
I'm definitely going to check your profile.

You a Dean girl? I approve.
I would bet real money that Hamez was going to say he was in love with Twill.

Can't he just make her explode? It's easy, he could do it even when his vessel was burning away.

Ironically, muy bean pronounced in Spanish sounds like how a prep would say muy bien.
By the way, every time she says moose I imagine a very annoyed Sam.

I'm from a Spanish speaking country and I can't see what the hell she could have meant by arugato, because even asegurado doesn't really make sense in the context (asegurado is an actual word though so thanks for not mangling my mother language). All I can think of is arrugado, wrinkled, which is weird.
Tequala could mean tequila, but there's nothing about tequila so maybe she thinks a part of Tila's name means tequila?
I was expecting worse Spanish, like the spelling mistakes some Spanish speaking people make (almost like this story is for the English language) plus worse grammar than this story, only in Spanish. I don't think I'm quite spared yet, though.

Actually, I think it's weirder that she's telling him to fuck off with a sad smile. I don't know, if she just said smile then I'd imagine a smirk or a psycho smile or something that made more sense.
And the knowing she's pregnant the night after reminds me of Species. Maybe she's a sociopathic alien created in a lab who was never taught grammar or spelling and she has some reality warping powers, a la Q, which explain this whole monstruosity and why everyone else is sucked into her "goffickness" and bad writing. That makes a lot more sense and actually sounds like a better story.

YES! Mark Pellegrino arguing with a crazy "goff" vampire chick is hilarious. And now I have a theory. She has hallucinations of Lucifer. How did she get her own Hallucifer? Well, maybe it has something to do with her becoming a vampire and getting suc bad grammar and spelling and the world not making sense anymore.

Hello.
This is story is in violation of the rules of . It is MST, which means comments inserted between the flow of a story (though it ain't much of a story.) To fix this... Well, you really can't. There are other sites that allow it though. Good day,
Sensei200, Critics United

I can't believe my immortal is still haunting me by leading me into this hell box.

You could use better spelling, but all in all, your spork is fine as is.

I have never laughed harder than I have in this last hour. Thank you.

I'm reading this during class. I'm pretty sure I've had some people staring at me for my snickers. But damn this is funny

That was like THE funniest thing I have ever read. I loved it

LMFAO At ur commentary.