|Reviews for The Noldorin Tree|
| Salome Maranya chapter 1 . 3/6/2014
Perhaps when the Peredhel family reunites in Valinor (though without Arwen), they will reminisce about Imladris and remark, "Hey, do you remember that tree...".
Somewhere, the spirit of an aged tree just might smile.
| thats-a-moray chapter 1 . 4/5/2013
I'm not terribly familiar with LotR, but I thought you captured the story of The Giving Tree perfectly here.
I like how the tree considers itself one of the elves because of its close connection to them. The tree is similar to Aragorn in this way, as a being that is not an elf but was raised among them and possesses something like an elven spirit. I did find it a little odd that Aragorn, whom he had the closest relationship with, only came into the story around the middle, but this is a very minor point.
[... and he would either peruse through a book or eat into the apple as he lost himself into his pensive thoughts.] This is sort of an odd phrasing. I'd recommend changing 'eat into the apple' as it sort of threw me out of the narrative for a moment.
I thought the way that you used leaves to express the tree's emotions was very clever. Although, there was one time I thought you could have done a slightly better job of personifying the tree:
[It is a year later when news finally reaches my ears, whooping happily when I realize the war is over.] I feel as though this should say 'branches' instead of ears. I think that saying that the tree has 'feet' or a 'heart' makes sense because I can imagine what these things may be like, such as roots being the feet and the trunk being the heart, but 'ears' doesn't quite fit as well.
Overall, I really enjoyed this story. The pace was slow and leisurely and you took full advantage of the tone, which was nostalgic and slightly somber. There was a lot of emotion in this story and I think that was what came through strongest.
[He grew older, therefore making his daily presence starting to disappear.] 'Start', although I find this sentence a little awkward.
["I must be crazy, aren't I?"] I think this should be 'mustn't I?'
[The lines around his eyes crinkle when he sees me, happy that me—his old friend— is still here.] Should be 'happy that I.'
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 3/31/2013
Okay, I’ve been dying to read this because I love Lord of the Rings. It’s my childhood fandom and still is to this day.
I love the tone you set in the first sentence with the words bitter grief. I thought that was fantastic and a great opening line. The gleams in the eyes was really touching and kept adding to the mood you’ve set.
“I always though they were humorous” Did you mean thought?
I love how you show the tree speaking. It took me a few paragraphs to catch onto, but when it started talking about watching Elrond’s family I caught up and got it. I think it’s fantastic that you make a tree so lifelike and realistic. It’s amazing. I love how Evenstar is brought in. I’m getting teary eyed by the way the tree speaks of them. It’s so beautiful. I love when Aragorn comes into this. Seriously, it makes me want to cry. I love the way Aragorn brings everyone back to life and the way you show that through the trees eyes are amazing. I could hear Aragorn talking when he spoke to the tree. That was just amazing.
Okay, I’m left wiping away tears. I know the book this was taken from, but told in this way is really sad, maybe because I love the characters so much. I love how it ends in the same way the tree was actually brought life, with Aragorn. This was absolutely amazing.
| Great Angemon chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
That was a really awesome story. It was sad, and yet funny at times. I liked it a lot. Admittedly, it took me till I found the Glossary to realize what pin nith meant. I don't speak Elvish!
I didn't know half of the stuff you mentioned happened, like Celebrian leaving. But then again, I always wondered what happened to her, since she wasn't in the movies.
And is this really where Aragorn died? Not in Gondor? That's what I would have expected. And could he speak to the tree? That's the impression I got in the end, when he came back right at the end.
I thought you wrote it well, but I saw some SPaG errors. When the tree was talking, you might want to add apostrophes or quotation marks, because I kind of got lost a little bit.
I know you said in 2012 or later, but I didn't really want to read Twilight(not a big fan), and I saw LOTR in here, so I thought you might not mind too bad.
| Edhla chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
Reviewing this one because it's the only fandom that I know and understand well :)
This was a really lovely piece and very cleverly written.
"Transporting" read really oddly here; a strangely mechanical word amid all of your lovely fluid prose, and it didn't evoke as most of your word choices did. I'd consider revising?
"Blood of both Edhel and Edain." And this says so much in such a small phrase. Well done.
"The little twins..." I think this is the first time I've ever read a fic that addressed what Elladan and Elrohir would have been like when they were little. It's super adorable, since we never see this sort of childish glee in canon.
SPaG: "Tiny and dainty little Evenstar." Again, this gives me a wonderful and economical (!) view of Arwen as a child, as she must have been at some point.
And then the lovely characterisation of Aragorn who "brought everyone back", and injected a new sort of life into Rivendell. This all the more brilliant because the tree has such a unique perspective- the ability to see Aragorn as he is when nobody is looking. What a wonderful idea.
"We will dance among the circles of this world." Beautiful image. Though of course, Arwen's last leaf will fall too. Damn the Lord of the Rings. Not a happy ending, really. *Sniff*!
Lovely work x
| AlanSchezar chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
First of all, I have to confess that this story brought manly tears to my eyes. Ordinarily, I would find the idea of a story from a tree's perspective to be somewhat contrived and silly, but in this case not at all. Because of the setting of the elven kingdom of middle earth and the well established notion of elves as having a special connection to nature, this works perfectly. This little tale is really beautiful in a haunting, melancholy, and yet also somehow hopeful way. I love the idea of the tree as an ageless observer of the lives of those around it, and I love how you've explored the way the tree is a constant companion throughout all of these lives that orbit around it. Just wonderful.
Now for in depth critique!
[I watch in bitter grief as they come and go, carrying belongings and transporting to the horses that are patiently waiting for them] -this is a great opening, but it's hampered by some awkward writing. My suggestion is this: "I watch in bitter grief as they come and go, carrying their belongings to their patiently waiting horses." Much more direct and less wordy, in my opinion.
Despite that little hiccup, this is an excellent opening line, because it immediately grabs the reader and sets the whole tone of the story.
[the eternal hope that they would soon be reunited] -should be "they will soon be", not "would soon be"
[The Elves of Imladris are sailing.
Why should I be left behind?] -two very powerful lines that set up a nice tension between them. At this point, it's not yet clear that the speaker is a tree, so this works very well to build tension
I like the inclusion of the glossary at the end, although some of the inclusion of the elven words in the story was unncesssary, like pin nith, in my opinion. Other times, like Aragorn's elven name, it was legit.
At times it feels like the tone wavers a bit; although perhaps this is intentional. In the middle of the story it seems unclear how bitter the tree is about being left behind or about how it's been treated, yet at the end the tone seems very clearly one of fond nostalgia, satisfaction and joy.
The ending; well, you already know. Manly tears. Manly tears.
Such a beautiful little vigniette you've woven here, and as I said, beautiful execution of an interesting approach that I think only works so well because of the elven forest setting. Interestingly enough, this story also reminded me of the sacred tree from InuYasha as this sort of enduring presence that transcends ages and becomes the focal point of the lives of the pivotal characters.
Very well done regardless of minor technical issues. Bravo!
| BrightWatcher chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
What an interesting idea... How unique. :)
It was a lovely read.
Good luck with your writer's muse!
| Aranel Mereneth chapter 1 . 8/10/2011
So sad and beautiful. Well done!
| OmairaAndCairistionaTheSisters chapter 1 . 7/22/2011
I love the way you wrote this. It makes me so sad that the tree is left behind without so much as goodbye except from Aragorn! Good job- it's really touching.