Reviews for The Twin Blades: Blades of Shadows
Cormag Ravenstaff chapter 2 . 5/25
I think if you had written this twenty or so years ago, it would fit in with a lot of fantasy. Now though, particularly with the fanfiction crowd, it doesn't fit in too well. Everyone here doesn't use a style similar to this. In fact, you're the only one I've read with this word choice/diction. Frankly, I can't help with this sort of thing. There's definitely a right/wrong way to do this, but I don't know it.

A lot happened in this chapter. Most of it went over my head XD
Cormag Ravenstaff chapter 1 . 3/25
Huh. Interesting start, though I'm not hooked yet. Understandable, since this is only the first chapter

I do have one problem with this. Lucia's dialogue...it's painful. Like, it's all high and mighty and I feel as if it's trying too hard to be medieval. Especially when she's just talking to herself. It does a lot for a story when you capture the dialect of the time period, but it's always better to be smooth and realistic with dialogue, in my opinion.
Gunlord500 chapter 9 . 8/10/2013
Man, another good chapter. I was literally on the edge of my seat when Boldan showed up! You're doing a great job of keeping your reader invested in the story and wondering what's gonna happen next. Keep it up! :D
Gunlord500 chapter 8 . 2/15/2013
Damn, another cliffhanger XD I don't think you were losing your touch with this, though. The lyrics weren't bad and I liked Makalov XD ;-; Nice work as usual, my brother.
FIckerkdn chapter 7 . 1/4/2013
Wow, your chapters are so detailed to the point where they just flow in every sentence they are imputed into; I especially liked how you incorporated Lucia's emotions into the story. Wonderful job with this. :D I noticed one little itsy-bitsy mistake. When you wrote about Lucia's shoulders becoming taut you wrote taught instead. Now worries though; I knew what you meant. :D Keep it up, this story is amazingly and and so well written.

The cliffhanger is going to drive me nuts now, trying to think of who it could be. XD
Gunlord500 chapter 7 . 1/3/2013
Eesh, a cliffhanger indeed! I can't wait for the next chapter, cause now I wanna know what was up with the mysterious man at the end and the woman talking from behind Lucia. :O
Gunlord500 chapter 6 . 11/19/2012
My brother-man! Good to see ya again :D I very much enjoyed this chapter as well...indeed, Lucia seemed in character and the battle/sparring scene was great. Nice work, as usual :D :D :D
LordEphidel chapter 3 . 7/17/2012
It has been too long, but I return to leave another review. Your dialogue in particular is very well written, both fitting for the characters and fluid.

I have finally determined why I find your ornate language distracting, despite ordinarily holding no qualms with it: it is in very sharp contrast to the dialogue. Most other texts utilizing such language [at least the ones that I have read in the past] are either purely informational and thus has no characters or dialogue [see nearly any political document at least two hundred years of age] or utterly filled with purple prose, including the dialogue itself [see Lord of the Rings, among others]. Unfortunately I do not know how to solve this, for dialogue is obvious a necessity here, but you cannot rewrite the characters so that their speech patterns would follow the remainder of the text [unless the character's name is Bastian or Oliver, but I digress]. Nor can I suggest that you change your style now, but it is something to note for future pieces.

On a nearly identical note, a character's thoughts when written in such a style is occasionally contradictory to their natural voice, particularly in the case of individuals as blunt as Ike. It works rather well with Otis, however; he overall seems to be a rather well done original character. My only complaint with him is that I wish he had more redeeming qualities, but I am unsurprised to see no evidence suggesting so; it tends to be more difficult to implement this early on.

If memory serves, there were two minor typos in this chapter, but I forgot to note them as I located them, so I can offer no further assistance on the matter.

As always, it was quite an interesting and enjoyable read. But before I close here, I have two questions. First, is Boldan an original character, because I do not recall him from anywhere. If not, when does he appear in the game [presumably Path of Radiance, which I have only played once]? Second, what does the Ancient Language text written on the cover of the this piece say? It is difficult for me to read when it is so small.
Gunlord500 chapter 5 . 7/14/2012
Hmm, interesting...is Lucia falling to drink? I thought so, that was my first impression, but I'm not sure. Sad as it is, it does make sense, though.

And yay for Archage, LordEphidel, and Shiverinthelight! They're new folks around here, but they're all cool. Glad you've met them as well :D :D :D
Gunlord500 chapter 4 . 7/14/2012
Poor Lucia. Very good portrayal of her psychological issues following the rebellion. And once again, I think you have a knack for dialogue...even though the palace guard was just an unnamed guy, you really give him a voice suited to a medieval setting like FE's. I wish I could do that better :D

And wow, I didnt know that about the ancient language in PoR...whoah o,o
Gunlord500 chapter 3 . 7/14/2012
Hmm...You do a very good job with descriptions, much like another friend of mine, Scuttlest (you should check out his fics )

Good job characterizing the robbers, with Parzal helping them out but selling them out too.

Man, it's been a while since I played PoR/RD...was Bolden really such a sneak?

Otis keeps talking about his old lord...now I wanna know more about him XD

Again, nice work :D
Gunlord500 chapter 2 . 7/14/2012
Aite, my brother-man, since you asked for reviews imma give you some. I'll do chapter by chapter, if thats OK with you? I think you do a good job of weaving in both canon characters and OCs (and don't worry about the length XD). Very nice battle scene. And I wonder what's up with Otis...he sneaky!
FIckerkdn chapter 1 . 7/13/2012
Wow, the details are stunning as is the way you write. I liked this a lot :D A perfect beginning to the events after Radiant Dawn.
Archsage12 chapter 3 . 7/8/2012
Hello, Freelancer :D

Ah, this length is much better. You should shorten the chapters up for rest of the story, makes it easier on the eyes and less easy for me to lose my spot when I'm reading XD

Yay for the return of Otis the Creeper! XD Yeah, he still creeps me out a lot, and you still protray that aspect of him really well. Good for you.

Oh? I quite liked the pub scene, it was interesting to read. And when Otis said that line after he left the bar, it really got shivers down my spine XD He's so creepy. And by the way, did you invent or come up with the concept of that dagger? I really think its interesting.

YAY for the Greil Mercenaries! The whole thing with Titania was interesting, I'm assuming you will expand further on her backstory as the story progresses... And you got Soren's character down pat.

Anyways, your writing is still as descriptive as ever, and I really, really like your poetic style. There were one or two little itty-bitty grammar errors, but I'm just nit-picking here XD

Well, this was a really great chapter! I'm looking forward to reading more :)

Archsage
FERP Fighters chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
THIS. WAS. MINDBLOWINGGG!

I'm honestly in awe at the epicness of this. After seeing the artwork I was convinced that I needed to read this otherwise I wouldn't be at peace. Boy, am I glad I read it! While I was expected this was to be really good, I didn't expect it to make my jaw drop!
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