|Reviews for Heterochromia|
| finallyexploded chapter 1 . 4/6/2014
Forgot a hyphen in the summary.
OC anthro does not equal Sonic the Hedgehog. That's pretty much it.
But for the sake of being annoying, let's go just a bit deeper.
You marked this fic as "spiritual" and "friendship". Neither of those genres require paragraph one to be about t-shirts.
Come to think of this, I don't see much of spirtuality or friendship explored in this chapter. It's a pretty typical story of a guy in school. Which is fine if you're into those sorts of things. But that's not why people go to the Sonic section. Ever consider Fictionpress?
The grammar is decent. Your last paragraph has an incorrect dialogue tag. Saw another one earlier, but I'll let you find it. That's all I saw, save the summary.
I didn't look, but let me guess- the gem is going to magically turn whoever into a fox so that he'll be like Sonic's buddy, so that you can live out your daydreams through your OC? Just my guess.
Thus my revenge flame is sealed. Whohoo! High school drama, here we go!
Ps. College is college in the middle of a sentence.
Pps. Saw another bad dialogue tag. You should really clean those up. Otherwise, people who have too much time might revenge-criticize you.
Ppss. Forgot my signature. Sorry.
| cking1996 chapter 12 . 2/25/2013
do a sequel plaese
| Spindash77 chapter 12 . 8/4/2012
Okay now that the storie is finally over I think now would be a good time to give my thoughts on it.
I generally really liked how you made it more about the character and his development than the some whole save the world cliche you see in most fics like main problem with the fic however is that the characters aren't to good, for starters Aarons whole anti-Heterchromia thing got really annoying when he kept whining about it when literaly everyone (Even Eggman the freakin villian) tells him that they look nice but at east at the end he admits he was being a complete idiot about it. Then there's Sebby who gets one little insult from Aaron and then he decides Aarons the biggest jerk on the planet, that he dosn't deserve to have friends, and that it would be better to die than be saved by Aaron. Plus the whole point of veiw switching wasn't really neccesary especially since this is supposed to be Aarons story maybe switching to Sebby every now and then would be okay but when you switch to Sonic when Aaron realizes he's been transformed or switching to shadow for no real reason it can kinda detract from the story. Despite its flaws it is a generally fresh take on the whole "human to mobian" type of story and I did like it okay.
| WhiteWinterStar chapter 12 . 8/4/2012
Think into that sequel, huh? Aaron and the gang could go to Sebby's graduation...and chaos ensues.
| Heart of PureSilver chapter 11 . 8/4/2012
Kyaaaaah! Take that, Eggbutt! That'll teach ya not to mess with Aaron Skyhart! Its nice to see that he's finally gotten over his hatred of his eyes. Only one chappie left before it's over, huh? Dang. All good things must come to an end. Hey, just a thought. For your next story(whenever you get inspiration), why not challenge yourself and try writing in 3rd person PoV instead of 1st person? That'd be interesting to see. Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to. I wonder what the huge climax will be like? Update again soon. :D
| WhiteWinterStar chapter 11 . 8/4/2012
Aww, it's over? -_-
Sequel, maybe? I can see Sebby turning into a creature...I think he would be blue. You could go deeper into why Aaron's a fox and such.
| WhiteWinterStar chapter 10 . 7/17/2012
Well. I never expected to hear Shadow say 'beautiful'.
But I thought you were gone forevers! Yay! You live!
And now it's time to SAVE SEBBY!
| PootisHolliday chapter 9 . 1/12/2012
| WhiteWinterStar chapter 9 . 10/2/2011
The tail thing...that's so Aaron. I loved it!
And they're off to save the Sebby! Huzzah!
| kljfalkfewf chapter 9 . 10/1/2011
Yay! Update! And yeah, high school's a b!tch, ain't it?
| jakeroo123 chapter 9 . 10/1/2011
... Okay, I'm reviewing.
... I HAVE WRITTEN FANFIC! GO READ!
Just kidding... Well, I actually have written a fanfic, and I would like feedback on it. But I'm not going to force you to read it by talking in all caps.
| Macabre Kaiser chapter 9 . 10/1/2011
Good chap. A little short, but the story is coming along either way, hopefully you can break this writer's block.
I'm still in the middle of a writer's block myself...and an art block. DX
| WhiteWinterStar chapter 8 . 8/30/2011
Hmm, so Eggy's been spying, huh? Well, plot twists!
I didn't think Aaron would get so mad, but then again he is your character. Maybe you could have taken it slower. Adn I don't thik he would be saying 'Sebby' while having a full-blown rant/
Hmm...Obviously, the others are going to go to Aaron, Sonic, Tails, and the rest of them. Aaron will be hesitant, but they'll go...
and while that's happening Eggy's either torturing Sebby or trying to make im turn traitor. When they find him, he either doesn't want to be rescued by Aaron because of that, or Sebastian goes and attacks them for some twisted form of revenge...
But that's just what I think.
| kljfalkfewf chapter 8 . 8/29/2011
Yay! You updated! :D Short, but still an update! Can't wait til the next one! Just make sure to balance your updates between this and Keystone. That's my only real concern here.
| AndromedaAI chapter 7 . 8/2/2011
Wow! So awesome!