|Reviews for The Story Stone|
| Guest chapter 4 . 1/28/2013
I hope you will not stop with your story and let us deal with your cliffhanger to long. I think you are a very talented writer so hopefully go on and let us read more from you.
| guest chapter 4 . 12/17/2012
Please update soon. I hate long cliffhangers.
| Karene chapter 4 . 11/22/2012
I'm glad you've updated! Great characterization and excitement!
I hope you update again soon, can't wait to see what happens next!
| Gemini Explorer chapter 4 . 11/19/2012
This is an intriging story. I've read all four installments to date, and it reads well, seems authentic, and includes Finn, one of my favorite characters. I think Veronica's reaction to Marguerite's contempt for the coffee was also pretty spot-on. She'd take up for Ned, who made it, although Marguerite had often tormented him in the past.
One thing that I found out of place was why you didn't have Finn and Vee hover over Marg. when she first arrived back at the Treehouse. They'd have been concerned, and they'd have brought John a meal as he waited. Finn might have brought George a thermometer from the lab, and seen that he, too, ate. Finny might also have cracked some droll joke to cheer them up. Granted, I have a crush on her and most of my own Fics (all in the Mature section) include her in a prominent role. (Yes, I'm male...) But don't neglect Finn; she's a very useful character, with 21st Century knowledge of some useful skills.
Like TV shows usually do, you neglected to have them reload their guns, but the fight scenes with the cannnibals were good. I might have had John make a travois to tow Marguerite home. If the going wasn't too rough, that'd take a lot of the strain of carrying her off his back. Oh: when Mag. couldn't shoot to save John, did she have that flick knife/switchblade that she stole from Avery Burton in her boot? My fics have her carrying it in a leather pocket sewn in a boot top. A handy item, especially as she didn't wear a belt knife on the show.
In one place, you used "effect" for "affect" or the reverse. Just proofread and watch for that kind of thing. But overall, you use language well and your spelling and grammar are much better than that of many Fic writers. I respect that. It should be routine, but isn't.
I look forward to your finishing this. I quite like it so far. Alas, I can't say that about 75% of the Fics I begin to read. Don't keep us waiting too long for the rest of the story.
| YourReader chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
This story began with promise. If chapter one is a true indication of how well the author can write, then chapters 2 – 4 should be rewritten.
| Oldlibrn chapter 4 . 10/2/2012
I suspect George will regret not waking Roxton, he may have noticed that She wasn't really she. Her telling of the 'story' should be interesting.
| Ice Queen chapter 3 . 5/5/2012
I can't wait for the next chapter!
| rann chapter 2 . 12/3/2011
A great beginning - I do hope you continue.
| daniM chapter 2 . 8/5/2011
| Gemini Explorer chapter 2 . 7/28/2011
Having log-in issues again.
Proofread for errors like not using quotes at the opening of one sentence where needed, beginning a new paragraph when speakers change, etc. That will let us follow who's speaking better. (There are only a couple of such isolated errors.)
You had Marg. at the last with revolver in hand ready to shoot, then suddenly, she had to reach for the gun?
But I like it, overall. Post more. But cut Ned some slack. I got tired of him always being the clumsy one, the stumbler, the butt of jokes. Fix him up with Vee and give Finn some inclusion, and Challenger. Too many fics are just about M&R. (Finn was one of my favorite characters. She's usually the star of my own fics, all in the Mature area.) But all characters deserve inclusion, in the main. I hope you won't be too coy about getting M&R happily together. The show dragged out the will they/won't they theme for too long. I'd rather seem them in love and dealing with external threats.
That said, I am delighted to see a new TLW fic! I'll check to see if you write more. You do show creativity and use dialogue well. I really like this!
| ficscribbler chapter 2 . 7/26/2011
Whew! For a moment there I was afraid she was going to end up on the other side of some hidden door, separated from him as she was in "Heart of the Storm"! I'm intrigued to know more about the story she was reading; I'm sure it will soon become all too real to our favorite duo. Thank you for posting the 2nd chapter so soon, Leahna. :-)
| cairocat chapter 2 . 7/26/2011
I am liking this very much and can't wait to read more
| snowbabe chapter 1 . 7/25/2011
Loved it. The banter is so real I can hear our favorite actors saying the words. Can't wait for more. Soon please?
| ficscribbler chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
It's nice to join Roxton and Marguerite in the jungle again; nice descriptions of the setting, Leahna. Also enjoyed their mixed bickering, flirting, and watching each other's backs. I'm looking forward to the rest of this journey. :-)
| cairoct chapter 1 . 7/24/2011
I love the story I can't wait to read more.