|Reviews for A New Time|
| LunaEtSidera chapter 4 . 2/3
This is written really well! I hope you update sometime soon!
| Womble619 chapter 4 . 9/22/2014
Most interesting, I wonder what Cloud is gonna do. Either way he will probably come off as the monster in all of this.
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/19/2014
This is terrific! What ever you do, you should not stop. I look forward to the next chapter. :3
| TyDragon30 chapter 3 . 8/16/2014
MORE UPDATES PLEASE. READ YA LATER
| wolfawaken chapter 3 . 7/23/2014
| Meteor Panda chapter 3 . 7/15/2014
wow okay. it's getting harder and harder to tell whats what in your story, whats the words in brackets? his thoughts? why are we getting his thoughts and random flashbacks every 2nd paragraph? It's a bit disconcerting and reading between italics and regular fonts of two similar events going on at once is a nightmare to the reader, l still don't know what Zack in this timeline was doing. I don't hate the story, it's the formatting that's getting me. You have italics, quotation marks, brackets, square brackets, monologues all in the same scene, this isn't a play treatment, it's a story, it doesn't need such specific formatting .
| Tayashia chapter 3 . 7/14/2014
It was a little jumbled, but given the circumstances: Amazing! ;-)
| 0utfoxed chapter 2 . 7/13/2013
I think you are off to a good start, yes. It's nice to see a proper story for once, as opposed to all the high school / self-insertion nonsense which seems to be flooding this place lately.
I normally don't go into criticizing style or form, since that usually amounts to backseat writing, but given the style that you are aiming for, might I suggest substituting the word 'ichor' for 'slime' in the second opening paragraph. Stands out a bit less in contrast to the rest of the text.
Also, I've spotted a few minor mistakes, which I thought I should point out. The first, and most egregious, error: Aerith is misspelled as 'Aeirth' throughout the whole story, including the synopsis. You might want to go back and correct that.
-In chapter 1-
"the irrigated voice"
[Presumably, you meant 'irritated'.]
"Specimen C reacts wonderfully to the pain stimulant's"
[No need for an apostrophe here. 'Stimulants' could also be changed to the singular without having to modify the rest of the sentence.]
"and the truck shook as it rode on the rough [*rode]."
"Don't [*] Cloud, it was not your fault."
[*A comma would not be amiss here.]
-In chapter 2-
"What's wrong [*] Sephiroth?"
"Zack turned around [*in concern]"
[*'looking concerned' might work better.]
"Because somehow, reality had shattered and there [*was] two of him walking around."
"But the worst part was—Sephiroth was alive, and he was only an hour away from destroying Cloud's [*live] forever."
That's all I could spot. Hope that helps.
Also, as a piece of general advice, be sparing in your use of adverbs. They are not evil, per se, but they can be abused if applied carelessly.
Good luck with your writing.
| Tayashia chapter 2 . 7/10/2013
Oh, that sounds interesting!
| Tayashia chapter 1 . 7/10/2013
Ohh It was a little hard to follow, you might look back and read it. I got what you meant so no harm done, but if you wanted to improve it, try to make things flow a little better, though it could be the way the story abruptly started...
Anyways, I like the story so far! :D
| LuffyMarra chapter 6 . 7/28/2012
Keep going I'd like to see where this goes.
| LunaNyx chapter 5 . 4/9/2012
Can't wait to see what happens next!
| Sanz0girl chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
| DarkBombayAngel chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
Awesome chapter. -
| miarath chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
What a crazy mess, but a great one.
Keep up the good work.