|Reviews for A New Time|
| 0utfoxed chapter 2 . 7/13/2013
I think you are off to a good start, yes. It's nice to see a proper story for once, as opposed to all the high school / self-insertion nonsense which seems to be flooding this place lately.
I normally don't go into criticizing style or form, since that usually amounts to backseat writing, but given the style that you are aiming for, might I suggest substituting the word 'ichor' for 'slime' in the second opening paragraph. Stands out a bit less in contrast to the rest of the text.
Also, I've spotted a few minor mistakes, which I thought I should point out. The first, and most egregious, error: Aerith is misspelled as 'Aeirth' throughout the whole story, including the synopsis. You might want to go back and correct that.
-In chapter 1-
"the irrigated voice"
[Presumably, you meant 'irritated'.]
"Specimen C reacts wonderfully to the pain stimulant's"
[No need for an apostrophe here. 'Stimulants' could also be changed to the singular without having to modify the rest of the sentence.]
"and the truck shook as it rode on the rough [*rode]."
"Don't [*] Cloud, it was not your fault."
[*A comma would not be amiss here.]
-In chapter 2-
"What's wrong [*] Sephiroth?"
"Zack turned around [*in concern]"
[*'looking concerned' might work better.]
"Because somehow, reality had shattered and there [*was] two of him walking around."
"But the worst part was—Sephiroth was alive, and he was only an hour away from destroying Cloud's [*live] forever."
That's all I could spot. Hope that helps.
Also, as a piece of general advice, be sparing in your use of adverbs. They are not evil, per se, but they can be abused if applied carelessly.
Good luck with your writing.
| Tayashia chapter 2 . 7/10/2013
Oh, that sounds interesting!
| Tayashia chapter 1 . 7/10/2013
Ohh It was a little hard to follow, you might look back and read it. I got what you meant so no harm done, but if you wanted to improve it, try to make things flow a little better, though it could be the way the story abruptly started...
Anyways, I like the story so far! :D
| LuffyMarra chapter 6 . 7/28/2012
Keep going I'd like to see where this goes.
| LunaNyx chapter 5 . 4/9/2012
Can't wait to see what happens next!
| Sanz0girl chapter 1 . 4/8/2012
| DarkBombayAngel chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
Awesome chapter. -
| miarath chapter 5 . 4/8/2012
What a crazy mess, but a great one.
Keep up the good work.
| Maxie42 chapter 4 . 1/29/2012
can't wait to read more!
| Alexandria Volturi chapter 4 . 9/17/2011
awesome update soon please!
| DarkBombayAngel chapter 4 . 9/17/2011
A Zack shield. Very cute. -
| tigerslady08 chapter 4 . 9/17/2011
Yay I love this story its soo much fun! It does have some inconsistencies but I still like it. I was wondering how Zack knew there were two "chocobos" and how Genisis know Clouds name in chapter 2 and everyone had introductions in 3? I look forward to your next post. Thanks. :-)
| icekitsune13darkfire chapter 4 . 9/17/2011
Lol, zack sheild! XD omg cliffhangers, keep writing please love the story
| akitty chapter 3 . 9/11/2011
Yeeeesss, I do believe I love this story. Please update soon! X3
| DarkBombayAngel chapter 3 . 8/27/2011
I don't blame Cloud threatening the cadets. I would too if that was my bike. Awesome chapter. -